I can’t wait for the CSI episode

December 3, 2008 at 5:04 pm 3 comments

Some dumb bitch is so upset over a wig … that was stolen … from her head … in the middle of the street … at 3 in the whore-ning … that she got all ‘I’m tellin’ about it.
::: this has ‘field sobriety test’ written all over it … ::: wig

According to the official police report, dingbat was stumbling walking home at 3 a.m. from a kegger or coke party or some shit when along comes an ex-boyfriend or pimp or some shit … on a bicycle … calls her a doo doo head or some shit and yanks the rug right off her halfwit head — which had to hurt since that shit was sewn to her real hair.
::: I’m guessing he got more than a smidge of skin too … :::

Now, me? I don’t believe it.

Not the wig-snatchy part … the part about her having an ex-boyfriend.
I can’t believe there is a man alive who would give up a woman this classy!

But, alas, her sad tale of woe seems somewhat, sort of, if the light is juuussst right … credible.

Miss Elegant Nightshade told the cops the wig-puller-offer had been her fucky times house partner for about eight months. Oh sure, they were close and all – like lovers get – and it’s just a darned ol’ shame that – what with all the Jack, Coke and Crystal Meth stress of the night – she could remember his first name but only the first letter of his last name.
::: Itshhh thahd ashhh T’hommee … T’hommeeee … uh … it  stahrz whitthuh, whitthuh  … ESSSSS!!  T’hommeee Essssss…sumf’n … :::

As dumb bitch luck would have it, Mr. Snatchyhands called baldie’s cell phone while the 5-0 were on scene
::: Yay!! :::

 … then he hung up when they used that sneaky cop maneuver of asking for his last name.
::: ACK! FOILED!!! :::

… the investigation continues …

Entry filed under: blogging, entertainment, fun, funny, Gossip, life, News, odd, unbelievable, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

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  • 1. jacque jo  |  December 3, 2008 at 5:30 pm

    I just laughed so hard I had to consciously swallow the diet Mountain Dew in my beak. I’m … HAHAHAH … still laughing. Mostly about this story and where things just derailed (at the beginning) and secondly over the cat wearing the pink weave.


  • 2. this buddy of mine  |  December 3, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    Should I refer you back to your previous post?


    Let’s get truth back in packaging

  • 3. lifeisacookie  |  December 3, 2008 at 8:58 pm

    Oh no — the issue isn’t the wearing of fake hair — it’s the very much NOT necessary public airing of dumbshit biznass that’s at issue here … kind of like this DB from a few months back:

    ** it should be noted that both stories come from DB HQ: Port St. Lucie, Florida **

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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