Well SOMEONE didn’t get the memo!!

November 12, 2012 at 11:05 pm 4 comments

I mean, really, this is basic ‘Ho Code 101’ shit, people.

The bottom-line, the guiding principle, THE golden fucking RULE when you’re bumpin’ fuglies with prominent, married public figures (or, ok, well, anyone who’s initials are NOT YOUR SPOUSE) is to take a chill on workin’ your grill.

It’s that simple.

No need for discussion!

It is immorality’s universally accepted imperative, for chrissakes!!

Yet, every few fornications there comes along some slut who just can’t keep it shut.

From Dynasty cast member wannabe Gennifer Flowers to dimestore hooker doppelganger Jaimee Grubbs to the demented and diapered Lisa Nowak — there’s always some skank who slips up and spoils the secret sexy times by spilling something she shouldn’t have.

Thanks a lot, Paula Broadwell!

Because of you tryin’ to go and blackmail a bitch over email and everything, poor David Petraeus now must foray back into the field of contraband coochie to find some stupid new streetwalker to screw.


But the real tragedy here is far worse than whatever future befalls dear David … or you … .

The real tragedy here is bigger, Paula … because it affects me.

Yes, Paula … the catastrophic consequences of your exasperatingly irritating email tirades mean that I now must go buy an ax, find a frickin’ forest, cut down a tree, chop that shit up, build a frickin’ fire, heat up a poker and GOUGE MY FUCKING EYES OUT
in an attempt to rid myself of the mental image of David’s sad old doggy dick doin’ The Cabbage Patch in yet another whore’s hoo-ha!

I live in fucking FLORIDA, Paula!
Do you have any idea how far I have to drive before I wind up in the woods?!?

Fucking FAR, Paula!!



It didn’t have to end like this, Paula.

Or maybe it did.

Because there’s always one hot ho mess out there like you, isn’t there Paula?

Oh yeah there is.

Take it to the bank, gents! 😉

Entry filed under: blogging, comedy, community, culture, divorce, election, entertainment, family, Gossip, government, humor, law enforcement, life, media, neighborhood, News, newspapers, odd, Politics, reporting, TV, unbelievable, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Some things never change Thanksgiving … a time for family …


  • 1. Ric Gerace  |  November 13, 2012 at 12:14 am

    You are in fine form, Cookie, fine form!!

  • 2. writechic  |  November 13, 2012 at 3:50 pm

    Another Frankenhooker steps up in the mean time! OMG, will all homely generals not engaging in extramarital fucktardery please raise their hands! How many more days will I have this image:

    lodged in my gray matter????

    Make is stop!

    • 3. writechic  |  November 13, 2012 at 3:52 pm


    • 4. Noni  |  November 14, 2012 at 11:47 am

      Writechic — NOOOOooooooooo you didn’t!!!!! (yes you did! :P)

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