Posts tagged ‘satire’
COJONES!
Just in case you missed it while you were standing in the breadline, opening a foreclosure notice, opening your unemployment check or just opening a bottle to get your drink on and forget shit for a while … I bring you a wee bit o’ happy – courtesy of Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart and his giant pair.
Behold the most revealing, penetrative, informative and educational interview I’ve seen on television in a long, Long, LONG time.
(UPDATE: Since the douchebags at Viacom did as predicted and yanked their YouTube rendering, citing their usual copyright bullshit — I found it on Google Video – if you can stomach the commercials you’ll get the goodies 😉 )
Take it away Jon!
Tan on fire
A South Carolina man escaped from a tanning bed as it burst into flames this week.
Dude was gettin’ his melanoma on when he heard a ‘popping noise’, looked down and saw a flame at the corner of the bed near his foot.
Mr. Quickthinker threw open the lid, jumped out and ran.
Oh sorry!
None of this retarded mess is, like, newsworthy or anything – I just got a serious case of the tee hees picturing his twig and berries roasting over the UV fire is all.
::: Being easily amused is like being on vacation all the time!!! :::
Can you just imagine the color he could have gotten if he hadn’t pussed out and panicked!
::: WIMP!!! :::
Hey hotstuff!
If your shit’s still sizzlin’ – might I suggest you spend a little time chillin’ that junk in the Mush Room of Sweden’s Icehotel? Yeah – it’s cool like that …
True Must See TV!!!!
Oooo oooo ooooo — this could be gooood!!
The series starts in June and is hosted (hence the name) by comedian
<—- Daniel Tosh.
It will focus on the inanities of blogs, vlogs and tweets, and will have a viral video of the week, produced by the show and featuring well known comedians.
::: SUCKIT KOS — they don’t want your elitist, highbrow, intelligent blah blah!!! :::
The inanities of blogs, people!
OMFG – this is sooooo LIAC!!
It just doesn’t get more inane than the piffle we publish!!!
Our Year in Review?
Our supremely awesome Dumbass and Dumb Bitch coverage??
Our adroit analysis of religious retardation???
Our political acumen????
Our love and devotion to cybercrazies?????
I mean, helloooooooo!!!
When you look up the word inane in the dictionary it may as well just say ‘Go read ‘Life Is A Cookie’ you fucking moron!”
Inane Cookie
I defy you — DEFY YOU – to find crap out there that is more consistently silly, unsubstantial, absurd, mindless, asinine, trifling, ridiculous or worthless than the drivel we dish!
Go ahead – try!
HAHAHAHAHAHA – this is great!
We are SO on this show!
This is like an IV bag full of (get ready Ponchita) HILARIOSITY pumping straight into my heart!!!
I bet THIS wasn’t on his Bucket List!
The dumb skank who admits she knowingly got into a car with a possibly drunk Morgan Freeman last August is now suing that hot piece for negligence, saying she wants to ‘clear her name from claims she was his mistress’.
::: And bank some sweet coin, of course! :::
Demaris ‘Do My Eyes Make Me Look Like A Crazy Gold-Digging Whore’ Meyer held an L.A. news conference where she whined about being labeled the ‘other woman’, channeled her inner Blogojevich and vowed to fight, Fight, FIGHT until cleanliness and dignity are restored to her allegedly once-good name.
::: … uh huh, good luck with that … :::
“I had hoped and prayed that Mr. Freeman or his representatives would have set the record straight and cleared my name, but they have not done so and that is why I have chosen to come forward to tell the truth about our relationship,” she bellyached to a handfull of people who, if we’re being honest here, probably only showed up to see what a potential Freeman fuckbuddy looked like.
::: … now we know? :::
According to her four-page lawsuit, she hopes to squeeze the Oscar-winner for pastpresentandfuture medical expenses, short-term memory loss , pain and suffering, some kind of short-term memory loss, pastpresentandfuture lost wages, permanent disability for short-term memory loss and other damages. Oh, and some sort of loss of memory … or something … and, uhh, don’t forget that big fucking truckload of money, bitches!!
::: … because nothing screams ‘Innocent Choir Girl’ louder than a legal shakedown … :::
The whole almost-hookup apparently happened because a mutual friend invited her to a dinner party so she could fuck meet the actor. She went, they dined, they got their drink on, they left and went back to the mutual friend’s house, they got their drink on there, then Miss Daisy jumped in Hoke’s Nissan and were makin’ the dash to his pad when things got all crashy.
::: … just your typical first-date stuff … :::
According to her [bullshit] lawsuit, she was in Freeman’s car only because he kindly offered to let her spend fucky times the night at his home — seeing as how “it would be much closer for Ms. Meyer to travel to her place of employment the next morning from Mr. Freeman’s home” than from the home of their mutual friend.
Uh huh … ‘cept Freeman’s house is in Charleston, Mississippi (89.5 miles from Meyer’s Memphis abode) and the friend lives in Clarksdale, Mississippi (77.6 miles from Memphis) — which would make it, like, NOT closer and stuff?
Oh but hey, in her defense, anyone stupid enough to get in a car with someone they admit [in writing — filed with the courts] had been drinking, really isn’t the kind of brainiac who can be reasonably expected to handle simple geography or exhibit any of her own accountability or, you know, personal responsibility or anything … right?
Right?
Right?
This is the shit you bitches are saying