Archive for May, 2008
Too good for the rest of us …
Seriously — after everything we know about Reggie Bush — THIS is surprising?
Ummm, yeah — not so much, douchebag.
*Thanks to those enterprising Mollygood readers for passing this one along to the rest of us!
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking and I agree — ‘cuz I’ll probably draft his punkass if I can get him on my fantasy team this year — but hey, I’d draft TO if I could get him or drug/injury-plagued Michael Irvin if he was still in da game — so don’t look for ME to be your moral friggin’ compass when it comes to this shit!
I’m just sayin’, is all – if you think you’re too good to give your petty John Hancock to the less-fortunate — look OUT for Karma to wail on your stupid ass!
Back in my day …
The time seems fast approaching when I just may find myself using this very phrase — a phrase I have forever associated with a certain craggy geriatric fool waving a jiggly, spotted, paper-skinned arm shakily in the air while yelling at me to get my ‘goddamned dog’ off his lawn …
‘Back in my day …’
See, it dawned on me recently that the generation behind me has no memory of things my peers considered groundbreaking — back in the day.
Remember Prodigy?
*the old internet service, not the totally kick-ASS group responsible for timeless classics like Smack My Bitch Up*
Back in ‘our’ day — we were cool and oh-so-cutting-edge because we were part of the elite group using space-aged new-fangled technologies like email (ooooo) and ‘The Internet’ (aaahhhhh)
— way, way, WAY back in our day meaning, well, the early 90’s.
But it’s ok.
I may not be old enough to remember some of the big stitches (bring on the hee hee) in the fabric of ‘modern’ time like:
The oil crisis of the 70s (You mean there was one before now?!? 😉
Freddy Prinze, Sr. (who?)
Trash-80s (4 KB of RAM – hahahahaHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!)
dollar-a-gallon gasoline (no link — I’m told it was around a while back …)
But I am old enough to confidently apply the ‘Back in my day’ label to things like:
Timothy McVeigh
::: Back in my day, there was this crazy-ass fucktard bastard American who hated America and all the l’il ol’ Americans in it … :::
eBay
::: Back in my day, you could take any old piece of shit you didn’t want anymore, slap a pricetag on it and watch any idiot with a computer try to buy it … :::
Lemony Snicket
::: Back in my day, there were these freaky-ass books that scared the shit out of kids but it was cool because it reminded them that reading was kinda nifty … well, that and some weirdo boy wizard named Harry or something …:::
and paper plane tickets
Yup, that’s right — paper plane tickets.
The paper airline ticket officially goes the way of the dinasaur on Sunday, June 1 (also the beginning of the Atlantic Hurricane Season, but I digress …) when hundreds of carriers switch to all electronic ticketing, much of it through internet booking.
Yay — the Internet wins again!!!!
Take a moment.
Shed a tear.
Now smile and get over it.
Change is good, you old coot!
Just sayin’ (again) …
When you have so much plastic embedded in your person that you no longer look like a, well, like a person – maybe it’s time to stop? Ya think?!?
Jocelyn Wildenstein has had multiple silicone injections into what used to resemble human lips, cheeks, and chin. She also found a surgical hack to do one fugged-up facelift and eye reconstruction to make her look more “feline”.
People call her the Cat Lady, but she looks more like Wayland Flowers’ bitchy handsock ‘Madame’ to The Cookie.
C’mon – you know you see it — and I know what else you’re thinking … ——————–>
::: mmm hmmmmm, THASraht :::
And when you think about it, they’re really no different than dispoable, plastic bottles … it’ll take about 1,000 years in a landfill to get rid of them all!
This is the shit you bitches are saying