Archive for January, 2008

Suddenly … POWER!


If only for a day or so, John Edwards is the most powerful man in America …

Now comes the desperation waiting game for his endorsement.

Hillary’s Homepage

John and Elizabeth Edwards

Barry’s Homepage:

John and Elizabeth Edwards

Shameless pandering or real appreciation? It’s politics — it’s a crapshoot.

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January 30, 2008 at 9:30 pm

Civic Doody


The Florida primary elections were held today and I did my part by getting up early to vote before arriving at work at 8 this morning.

I Voted TouchscreenFlorida, long known for fucking up elections far and wide (hanging chad, anyone?) actually put on a nice show today. A few glitches, but an otherwise smooth day as voter turnout reflected an attitude of ‘I actually give a shit this time’ among the populace.

Refreshing!

Driven in part by a very controversial property tax amendment (I voted Yes on One, thankyouverymuch), elections officials in Tallahassee predicted a high turnout statewide.

The turnout is important for Democrats because it will cast light on just how deeply the candidates’ messages are getting across with voters who listen, read and remember (not just those who are swayed by attack ads and innuendo).

Tomorrow morning — after having none of the candidates campaign here or run TV ads or pander to us in any way — all of America will be able to see just how we think Hillary Clinton measures up against Obama Barack and John Edwards in a state that demographically mirrors the nation as a whole … that is if Florida doesn’t fuck up this election too …

Did I make freedom count? We’ll see …

January 29, 2008 at 10:12 pm

Department of Homeland What?!?


Fake BombTester gets fake bomb past airport security — thank god CNN was there to document it …

Credit: CNN

January 28, 2008 at 10:15 pm

FU, MK


Mary-Kate OlsenSo, now we know it’s probably not the best idea to call ol’ MK ‘for guidance’ when you find a dead body you’re in a delicate situation. The only question left is why …

The fine folks at 23/6 chime in with the Mary-Kate Olsen Thought Process Flow Chart.

Click the link — read it — you’ll thank me …

January 25, 2008 at 8:48 pm 2 comments

No more ‘shroomin’ around!


Muffin topSeriously — this shit does not look good.

Just because you can get your fat ass in there doesn’t mean we want to look at the rest of you oozing and squooshing it’s way back out. And doesn’t it hurt? C’mon — I think it hurts. It looks like it hurts. 

I find it hella painful to look at, so stop ‘kay? No more muffin-butt, no more ‘schroomin’ around, just say no to crack and all that.

Pretty please with a big ol’ dollop of lard-covered kisses on top?

January 24, 2008 at 11:43 pm 3 comments

Y’all ain’t gonna BELIEVE this shit!


Ok Tater — I’m gonna need you to sit right down there in the lawn chair on your porch and take a drink from that 40, ‘kay?

This is some heavy shit and you need to numb your brain prepare for what you are about to be told. You ready steady?George Bush is a liar 

He’s been lying to you.

Saddam Hussein is not now nor was he ever the king of Iraq or the consolidated Middle East Union and he is not orchestrating a new and improved al Qaeda style, 9/11-type mission by loading anthrax-laced WMDs into the cargo hold of Delta flight 743 (nonstop service to whatever American architectural icon people would most like to not see blown to smithereens). He has not recruited Fidel Castro’s army full of infidel, pinko commies, (the very army, for the record, which was not trained under the watchful eye of Osama bin Laden in the rugged hillside terrain along the Iran/Afghanistan coastal region with money and a weapons cache not provided by Hussein’s non-cousin/lovechild Obama Hussein Barack (lovingly not called Barry for short). 

Yes, it’s all been lies — and that’s the truth. 

That exact sort of lame-ass, fucktarded plate full bullshit has been spoonfed to America just about every day (935 times, to be precise) over the last 7 or so years according to a study released this week by two nonprofit journalism groups.

Yummy, right? I know, it’s hard.

But I did try to tell you years ago that the WMD claim was bogus. I pleaded with you to learn to read so that you could better understand that bin Laden and Hussein are, in fact, two different people. Oh, there were so many times I tried to hold your hand and open your eyes to the fact it was more than a possibility that your hillbilly president was lying to you. But you didn’t believe me, Tater.  Do you believe it now?

Well, I guess I’ll know the answer to that question if I see you take off the nine hundred and eleven American Flag static stickers and the ‘These colors don’t run’ sign from the F150.

*sigh

January 24, 2008 at 12:50 am

Urban Decay?


Florida Gators Coach Urban Meyer

Over a wide receiver no less …
Courtesy: South Florida Sun Sentinel

Good story and all, nice reporting, interesting quotes. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Bottom line? Rules may have been broken, but it’s Florida. No wrists will be slapped today, sir.

January 23, 2008 at 8:11 pm

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