Archive for July, 2011

Subject: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!


The bitches I hang with are cool.
I call ’em ‘Thuh Kool Beeeez’.
They crack me up.
Little fuckers …


From: Koolbe_K
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 4:20 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

are you sh***ing me?

http://www.lyrictheatre.com/show/501-boyziimen0d0a


From: Koolbe_ME!
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 4:26 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: RE: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

‘Uhh Ahh’, seems they are finding out ‘It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday’, but I guess that’s what happens when you’re ‘Under Pressure’ in ‘Motownphilly’ sweatin’ the ‘Little Things’ like ‘Your Love’.

All I can say, if you’re considering buying a ticket is ‘Please Don’t Go’ ‘Lonely Heart’ ‘Please Don’t Go’


From: Koolbe_L
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 4:29 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: RE: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

Wow you are a gigantic dork…


From: Koolbe_ME!
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 4:29 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: RE: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

NOBODY PUTS COOLEYHIGHHARMONY IN A CORNER!!!

LOL!!!


From: Koolbe_K
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 4:32 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: RE: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

I kinda sorta really want to go. If it was Bell Biv Devoe (sp?) I would definitely be there.


From: Koolbe_ME!
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 4:35 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: RE: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

Who would you go see less – Boyz II Men or P.M Dawn?

DISCUSS!


From: Koolbe_K
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 4:41 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: RE: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

Honestly, I’m a little young. Hahahahahahaa. My first concert was vanilla ice.


From: Koolbe_L
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 4:43 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: RE: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

Mine was NKOTB


From: Koolbe_K
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 4:45 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: RE: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

BAHAHSAHA


From: Koolbe_L
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 4:48 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: RE: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

I know right…my mom took me..

U2 was my second concert


From: Koolbe_ME!
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 4:51 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: RE: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

My first was Dan Fogelberg at the Oak Mountain Amphitheater with the editor (Brooks Atherton) from the Leeds News, where I worked the summer between my junior and senior years in high school.

Now, if you’ll excuse me. It’s time for my Metamucil.


From: Koolbe_ME!
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 4:43 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: RE: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

AND GET OFF MY LAWN!!!


From: Koolbe_K
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 4:45 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: RE: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

And into your car with the ragtop down so my hair can blow?


From: Koolbe_N
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 4:46 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: RE: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

The girlies on stand by just waiting to say hi


From: Koolbe_ME!
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 4:50 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: RE: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

Did you stop? No, I just drove by


From: Koolbe_L
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 4:51 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: RE: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

Seriously…. DORKS


From: Koolbe_K
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 4:53 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: RE: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

All Right!

Stop,

Collaborate,

And Listen.


From: Koolbe_ME!
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 4:57 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: RE: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

We should write our own …

All Right! Stop, Collaborate, And Listen.

Something in my car’s all knockin’ and hissin’


From: Koolbe_K
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 4:58 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: RE: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

Hope it’s not that Hoe in the Trunk

Knew I never shoulda gotten her drunk

?


From: Koolbe_ME!
Sent: This Month, This Day, 2011 5:00 PM
To: Thuh Kool Beeeez!
Subject: RE: hahahahaha- awesome!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

July 28, 2011 at 11:03 pm 2 comments

Spielberg is pissed, yo!


Some über-eggheads out there have gotten together, swapped brain waves or charted some graphs or used an abacus or some shit to decisionize a radical new theory that basically lays down the scientifical HELL NAW on that little old lifelong assumption that we human types aren’t the only intelligent life in the uni, after all.

Watch out Santa — they’re coming after your fat ass next!

But frealz … there’s apparently this thing out
there you’ve I’ve never heard of called the Drake Equation that’s been used since the earth’s crust cooled 60’s as the basis of all acceptance on behalf of everyone EVERYWHERE that — Yes Virginia — there really are ET-type deals and suchlike kickin’ it all over the cosmos.

‘Cept for maybe not ‘n stuff.

Because there’s this report on arXiv.org that slaps a bullshit sticker on that mess, effectively putting the DE on the galactic DL.

And don’t you just KNOW the folks out there searching for extraterrestrial intelligence at places like the SETI Institute in California feel like a big ol’ bunch of doofi right now!
::: Oh just stop trying to sound it out and get your smart on … it’s pronounced archive dot org :::

The thinking is was that you could use the Drake Equation to calculate the likelihood of making radio contact zzzzz with extraterrestrials by approximating the number of zzzzzzz radio-transmitting civilizations in our galaxy at any one time by multiplying a zzzzzzz string of factors such as:
1. The number of stars
::: but doesn’t that change? :::
2. The fraction of stars that have planets
::: Wait. Stars are buying whole planets now?!? I thought they just owned their own islands. :::
3. The fraction of those planets that are habitable
::: can’t be long after we get hold of ’em :::
4. The probability of life arising on such planets
::: can’t be much after we get hold of ’em :::
5. The likelihood of that life becoming intelligent
::: can’t be much afte … ugh, you know the drill :::

And over the years, researchifiers have used this ‘logic’ to make some ‘educated’ guesses and come to the collective conclusion that there are about 10,000 tech-savvy civilizations in the galaxy currently sending signals our way — a number that has led other science-types to predict that we’ll detect alien signals within two decades or before the next Beiber, whichever comes first.

An assertion which astrophysicist David Spiegel at Princeton University and physicist Edwin Turner at the University of Tokyo giggle over and go ‘ehh, NOTSOMUCH FOOLZ!’

Using a statistical method called Bayesian reasoning, Dave and Ed argue that life here on Earth could be common or could be extremely rare, man. Because, like, we just don’t fucking know, ya know?
And since we just don’t fucking know, there’s no fucking reason to prefer one conclusion over the other.

And there you have it.

The rub.
The fly in the ointment.
The straw that broke the camel’s back.

The sofuckingobviousIcan’tbelieve noonthoughtofthisbefore immutable point about trying to act like you definitively know what you, like, definitively do not know.
Don’t.

“Although life began on this planet fairly soon after the Earth became habitable, this fact is consistent with … life being arbitrarily rare in the Universe,” the authors write,
going on to, like, PROVE their theory using math and other highly-technical and complex PROVIFIERS that involve multi-syllabic words and ASCII-looking scribbles and suchlike that I won’t get into here because, well, there’s math and other highly-technical and complex PROVIFIERS that involve multi-syllabic words and ASCII-looking scribbles and suchlike involved.
HELLOOOO?!?

Suffice it to say that with one carefully crafted conception, two geeks have singlehandedly erased the one warm and fuzzy scientists have used as their ‘go to’ argument for decades and slapped a big fat question mark on that bitch instead.

OOOOO, BUUUUURN!!

SOURCE

July 26, 2011 at 10:56 pm

Ad Server Fail


Puts me in mind of an automated Home Depot banner ad back in the SportsLine days that featured a hand saw cutting through the promotional copy right above a story of about football player who had to have his arm amputated after an accident.

Not as unfortunate as that ginormously long sentence … but unfortunate just the same.

July 25, 2011 at 10:55 pm 2 comments

And?


A lawsuit filed by the former bodyguard of Cheetoh Spears contains shockingly nottheleastfuckingbit shocking claims that the ‘Toxic’ singer is, well, just that.

“Spears was generally personally unkempt. She had obnoxious personal habits, such as chain-smoking cigarettes … She broke wind or picked her nose un-self-consciously and unapologetically,” Fernando Flores claims in papers filed in Los Angeles Superior Court.

The allegations sent shockwaves … absolutely nowhere.

In other news, SAND IS SANDY!!!

I mean, seriously, what’s next?
A scathing exposé on the obvious obviosity of Lady Gaga’s unadulterated ripoffery?!

… going back to sleep now.

July 21, 2011 at 5:00 pm 5 comments

No. No. Forever NO!


The boneheads over at Berjuan Toys want you to buy a ‘Breast Milk Baby’ for your delicate flower of daughterhood because it will ‘teach children the nurturing skills they’ll need to raise their own healthy babies in the future,’ according to to Dennis Lewis, U.S. spokesman for the Babydoll Booby Prize winning company.

‘Breastfeeding is good for babies …’
True!

‘ …it’s good for mommies’
True!!

‘ … and it’s good for society …’
TRUE!!!

‘We really don’t understand why this has created such controversy.’
Truthfully?

Because, I mean, umm, seriously? This is wrong.
Seriously wrong.

I mean, umm, well, uhh, it’s not just the video of a real flesh and bones mommy’s breastesses complete with sucking baby attachment on the promotional video you made spliced and diced all kinds of ways with Little Suzie Seven Years Old draping her very own big-girl milking vest around her too-young-to-even-be-a-tween chest cavity as she simulates the adult action for herself.

It’s the whole and entire concept of the thing.

‘We’re being called perverts and pedophiles for promoting feeding our babies the way God intended.’

Wait.
God intended girls who haven’t even gone through puberty to breast feed?!?
Really? Where in the bible is that?
Lactations 27:6?

Ya.

You’re not being called perverts and pedophiles for promoting the breastfeeding of babies.
You’re being called perverts and pedophiles for promoting breastfeeding the breastfeeding of babies BY babies.

Because seriously, we know wrong.
We’ve seen some severe wrongness from doll makers in the past, so we know our shit.

Who can forget Remco’s creeptastic Baby Laugh-A-Lot
——————————————>
who’s shriekish sound made kids across the planet Cry-A-Lot, have Nightmares-A-Lot and End-Up-In-Therapy-A-Lot.

And what about Birthin’ Barbie?! From the tear-away tummy to the folded-up fetus inside – that bitch was bad from every angle!

Kewpies?
EWWWpeez!

Cabbage Patch Kids?
Get out of that garden!

And whatever the OHMYGODWHATTHEFUCKISTHATTHING is going on here!!

A gastly collection of toy thoughts woven together in history by WRONG!

So go ahead Breast Milk Baby – join the ranks of disgusting doll ideas for all eternity.

And you toy makers?
Do not even THINK about peddlin’ Patty Pubescence with real ‘down there’ hair, ‘kay?

‘Cuz we ain’t havin’ it!

No.

July 18, 2011 at 8:49 pm 2 comments

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