Orange Is The New Blech

January 1, 2017 at 2:15 pm 2 comments


It’s been a whore-red hot minute since I left my last Cookie crumbs for you bitches to chew on.

Let’s recap:

My boyfriend had just been elected to his second term, I was at the genesis of what I hope remains a lifelong love of international travel, and you guys were too nice to publicly out me for beginning to dilute the special sauce that had, for the better part of 6 years, made my version of snark just a super-thick slice of splendiferous.

I was.

I can admit it.

I hadn’t exactly gone full-on dosser, mind you, but I was toning it down a bit.

Or trying to.

Cuz things were good-ish, man!

I mean, sure, we still had to deal with the same lameass hateful bagodicks we always did (and sadly, always will). Child-hurters, rapists, murderers, racists, warmongers, bigots, Republicans and, well, you get the picture – Fuckers fulfilling flagitous feats of fuckery!!!

But it was also a time of technological progress, an actual canyabeileve it noticeable uptick on issues of tolerance, and an overarching renewed global purpose to take better care of this rock on which we remain (before it’s too late, before we, too, are turned to rubble).

I felt like the universe was signaling an invitation for The Cookie to investigate some chill.

And I did!

I was rockin’ that shit like it was my J-O-B!

Traveling, writing for my literary side piece, reading, meditating, painting, volunteering … you get it. I was producing. I was creating, I was BIZZAY!

But then it started happening.

::: The snowball, the boiling frog, the derailed train of progress :::

The terrible horrible badness was actually happening!

trump-supporters

A thing so dark, so grotesquely manifest it hardly seems possible there could even exist in the universe  a collection of molecules so malevolent, so intellectually and emotionally mangled, so completely misaligned with the concepts of basic humanity!

And yet, it’s out there.

::: OUT out there — no need for hoods or secret meetings now :::

It exists.

It walks among us.

This thing found a foothold of fakery on which to climb a mountain of misinformation and plant a flag for universal hatred and the solidarity of stupidity right there at the summit.

This thing so deplorable, so dreadful, so dire it utterly and completely crushed my cocoon of contentment, stomped the fuck out of my faith in the future and compelled me to dust off The Cookie once more to say take note, take cover and go and get your prayer ON.

Frealz tots– all of us precious snowflakes waking up to 2017 this morning looking to be hopeful about the future should start by getting down on our knees, putting our hands to the sky and all-out Bless. It.The. Fuck. UP! for the wholly lame and limited lifespan these next four years of fuckery deserve.

Because it’s happening.

Happy New EWWWWWWWW, bitches!

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Entry filed under: 2017, Barack Obama, blogging, celebrity, community, culture, education, election, government, humor, new year, News, odd, Politics, Trump, unbelievable, Uncategorized. Tags: .

Read. Reflect. Remember. American HERO

2 Comments

  • 1. allthoughtswork  |  January 2, 2017 at 2:47 am

    “feats of fuckery”

    This has a nice ring to it.

    “a mountain of misinformation”

    Jon Stewart called this Bullshit Mountain. It also has a nice ring.

    I stopped watching all news–ALL FUCKING NEWS–beginning November 9th and turned to YouTube for my daily brain yoga. It’s been glorious.

  • 2. Type Writer  |  January 2, 2017 at 8:17 pm

    Welcome back, Cookie; you heeded our call to return to action, and for that you have the thanks of a grateful nation 🙂 Where was that rally photo taken? I feel like we’re living through a Maya Angelou moment, i.e., his supporters are telling us who they are, and we ought to believe them



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