Archive for June, 2010
Remember when John McCain temporarily suspended his presidential campaign to ‘fix the economy’ and then temporarily suspended caring about the economy to participate in a debate with my boyfriend?
Well, this is sort of like that … if you take out all the parts that aren’t, that is.
Yours truly has to temporarily suspend annoying the Sahars and Sahar-supporters of the world, mocking the masses, decrying this New Great Depression (and its casualties), poking fun at political puerility and delivering dumb bitch of the day deliciousness so that I can temporarily annoy a bunch of other people who, like, pay me cash monies for shit and suchlike.
MONEY TALKS BITCHES!
But only for a little while 😉
What does this all mean?
It means Ann Coulter can relax.
(by snacking on small children)
It means Sarah Palin can continue the Imawhackjob World Tour-a-palooza.
It means Jesus freaks everywhere can continue to see the holiest of holies in the unlikeliest of places (and do other nasties in His name).
It means Whitney Harding can continue bringing the hotness to make up for the extreme sizzle-deficit caused by … well … you remember.
(Oh delicate flower of supreme womanly elegance – how we do remember you …)
It means this guy can continue his one-man firestorm of fucktardery on ‘da laydeez’.
It means Meg Ryan can continue to just absolutely 100% fuck herself UP nine ways to Sunday!
(and that’s no joke!)
It means International Whore Day can MUST continue with gusto!
It means Tara Reid can continue … oh who are we kidding – BOTTOM’S UP BITCH!
It means The Cookie’s game plan for the next everhowfuckinglong means going global to help manage the metamorphosis that has — albeit temporarily — appropriated her existence.
This is interesting … and sad.
To put the sheer size of the BP oil spill into perspective, some really way cool dudes created a program to let you measure that mess against the land mass surrounding your home town.
Click on this link, then enter your town, and province in the location box top of page, and ‘move’ the oil spill.
All of those Sally Sunshines running around the last few months talking shit about how the New Great Depression is over lied!
It is SO not over!
In fact, we may be headed for mega monetary malaise right NOW!
How do I know?
THIS is how!
World of Decor is soon to be no more!
They even say ‘The end is near’ RIGHT THERE on their billboard of DOOM!
People! Don’t stop buying decor!
The earth can’t survive with no decor and heaven knows I can’t get my decor at just any store!
It’s got to be from World of Decor. It just has to!
They’re not some dinky Decor Depot, Decor Den or Debbie’s Decor Delights (yuk).
No, my friends. This is WORLD of Decor — where they have everything you need to trick our your trailer, put the haute in your habitat and the couture in your crib!
You need them!
Dispossessed of decor, how will you appoint your abode (or cardboard box under the freeway overpass) to reflect the true beauty, elegance and sophistication that says cheap laminate ‘YOU’ to all who enter?
Divested of decor, how will you complete your lawn lion army?!
Devoid of decor, how will you Louis XIV your living space?!?
I mean, oh sure, I can go anywhere to get my knick-knacks, tchotchkes and all-around dust-catchers. But when it comes to 15-foot-tall molded-cement statuary or gold-plated or velvet-covered anything – well I shouldn’t have to tell you that you can’t just pick that shit up anywhere, you know.
This is bad … just don’t make it worse by letting anyone from ‘Real Housewives: New Jersey’ know, ‘kay?