Archive for August, 2009
You may not have already seen this …
… or you may have.
Either way — it’s sooooo worth watching right now because, let’s face it – it’s Monday and you need a laugh as you begin a workweek you’ll want to feel is short because of the upcoming Labor Day holiday weekend and all but HAHAHAHAHA joke’s on YOU because it won’t feel short because that extra day pretty much comes next week, which is why you’re getting that long, sad doggyface because you just realized you have five full days to pretend like you’re a productive member of society before you can get your woo-hoo on this weekend …
… so you need to see this now.
Stupendicular lyrical translation at the linky-loo below!
LINKY-LOO – CLICKETY CLICK, BITCHES!!!
You’re welcome 😉
Instead of smiling for the cameras like this is a good thing, Serena Williams – who is Be-fucking-Utiful! – ought to be on the phone with a team of lawyers figuring out just how much money she can add to her already ginormous bank account after she sues the talentless bastard who crafted her wax statue in the spitting image of Carrot Top!
Just sayin’ … yuck.
This is the latest rage?
The newest fad?
What we’re trending now?
Just stop it – right THE fuck now!
Because if you’re retarded enough to actually do this to your dog then you should be required to post a YouTube video of the exact moment that Mr. Cuddles and Little Bobo decide your dumbass dimplebutt looks a fuckuvalot lot better than the wretched rawhide you plopped down as some pathetic distraction from the identity crisis you’ve wrought.
A classic lesson in just because you can, doesn’t mean you should …
Don’t say you weren’t warned.
PHOTOS: Ren Netherland / Barcroft Media
And the summer of death claims another …
R.I.P. Ted Kennedy
Kentucky Fried Chicken hates you.
Not the actual chicken. The company.
They hate you and they want you dead.
That’s the only explanation I can come up with for why they are are introducing fast food’s newest heart attack waiting to happen:
The Double Bypass Down.
This bitch is made up of two original recipe (fried) chicken filets, which act as the “bread” in this sandwich. Inside, there’s bacon, pepper jack cheese, Swiss cheese and Colonel’s Sauce. It’s estimated to have about 62.4 grams of fat and 858 calories.
I think we have a new entry for THIS site!
PHOTO: Food Geekery
Think YOUR kid had an enterprising summer job?
Not unless your last name is Lumpkin, they didn’t!
Florida mom Rosemary Lumpkin got an anonymous call Friday night from someone tattlin’ that her precious princess was workin’ the pole at a sticky-floored humphouse called Playmates.
::: CLASSY! :::
Well mom wasn’t having any of that mess so she put on her most serious ‘hayull naw’ face, called the cops and then joined the fun as they orchestrated a teenage-takedown at the tittay club.
::: You KNOW someone was pissed to learn ‘You’re goin’ down!!!’ didn’t quite mean what he thought it would that night … :::
Cocoa police say they found two teens – Lumpkin’s 17-year-old and a 15-year-old – shakin’ what their mamma’s gave ’em for limp, sweaty men monies.
MAMMA MUST BE SO PROUD!!!
Lumpkin said her daughter’s dirty dancing was a bit of a bombshell because, despite all evidence to the contrary, the kid’s been tight-lipped with her.
“How could you not know your daughter was dancing there?” WFTV reporter Kenneth Moton asked.
“Easy. Because I’m not a security guard, she could be sneaking out of the window,” Lumpkin said. “You’ve got to sleep some time.”
A statement that * SHOCK * brought DCFS to her door the next day.
I think we have another MOTY candidate, folks!!