Geography FAIL

April 21, 2009 at 3:34 pm 6 comments


Deception!
Trickery!!
LIES!!!

WE’VE BEEN CHEATED!!!!

Remember that family vakay we were all forced to take during the delicate, formative years of our middle school ‘experience’?
The one where the ‘rents piled our whiny snotnosed selves into the Pace Arrow and headed ‘West to see America’??
The one where you pretzeled yourself in an effort to make sure you had at least one digit representin’ in every spot at Four Corners???

Yeah?
Well, funny thing about that …

“According to readings by the National Geodetic Survey, the Four Corners marker showing the intersection of Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico and Utah is about 2.5 miles west of where it should be.”

SAY WHAT?!?

Ayep – a good old-fashioned fuckup back in 1868 has led to countless Kodak moments where little Timmy and Sue took turns getting a hand in Arizona … and, as it turns out, a foot in Arizona … and another foot in Ariz — well, you get the idea.

That photo album? Pitch it.
That commemorative mug? Ditch it.
That computer screensaver you like so much? Switch it.

Your ‘precious memories’ will get you about as much as the fake Louis the chick at RaceTrac keeps behind the counter.

What – OH WHAT – are we to make of this betrayal, America?!?

Are we just supposed to now assume we are georgewvisiting the real birthplace of George Washington when we go to the Virginia spot the government claims is the exact spot his mamma birthed that bitch?
I don’t think so!

And what about Washintgon’s Mount St. Helens?? How do we know it’s not the bigger, more unstable ‘supposedly dormant’ volcano 2.5 MILES AWAY that nobody talks about because the guy monumentizing shit that day was too lazy to check it out??
We don’t!

And Devil’s Tower in Wyoming? Allegedly our ‘first national monument’??
Oh right! Like I’m really gonna believe Teddy Roosevelt named christened that crap back in 1906!
I wasn’t there!
Were you?!? Nooooo.
The first time I saw that shit was in Close Encounters. For all I know it’s just a really big set prop!

What are we to believe?
Where does this heinous treachery against the American people end?!?

My God — what IS this madness?!?

Next thing you know we’ll find out Santa’s not real!

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As The World Turned … Just asking …

6 Comments

  • 1. Geography FAIL | Entertainment @ U Want 2 Know .Info  |  April 21, 2009 at 5:48 pm

    […] Original post by lifeisacookie […]

  • 2. writechicpress  |  April 21, 2009 at 6:01 pm

    Well, I thought I’d been to 4 corners.

  • 3. Type Writer  |  April 21, 2009 at 8:27 pm

    Well, you’ve looked at clouds from all four corners now…

    TW

  • 4. lifeisacookie  |  April 21, 2009 at 8:56 pm

    SILVER LINING ALERT!!!
    I bet the gubmint puts that on a marketing campaign!

  • 5. Ponchita  |  April 22, 2009 at 8:26 pm

    There is NO WAY in Satan’s HOT HELL I’m climbing back into the ass end of the blue Buick stationwagon with the eagle painted on the front side to make the wretched trip again while my 3 older sisters tortured me to no end while the parental units chain smoked and cussed for what seemed an eternity for us to SHUT our no good, ungrateful mouths while they took us to see a national landmark! NO FUGGIN WAY!
    And WTF do you mean “we will find out Santa isn’t real”?!?!?!?!?

  • 6. lifeisacookie  |  April 23, 2009 at 11:47 am

    Sounds like you had the same kind of trip I did! ACK!!

    On Santa — I heard this rumor …


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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