As The World Turned …

What the hell, people!!
A bitch can’t even take a couple of days to get her bereavement on without the whole world going berserk!?!

First I hear that John Madden is hangin’ up the mic and I’m all ‘Can he really do that? Is he even allowed to do that?!?’
::: I bet he goes 20 kinds of Favre by August :::

Then I read that Delta’s ditching their thoroughly detested practice of outsourcing customer service calls to India and I was all ‘Woo hoo! Jobs r comin’ JOBS R COMIN’!’

But that happy had a hella short shelf-life once I self-schooled on GM’s continued bid to be the New Great Depression poster child by shuttering US plants and cutting another 1,600 jobs — even as the company prepares to build factories in China.
::: Their shit actually sells in China … who knew! :::

That gak had me feeling all the bad emotions until I got the 4-1-1 on my badass boyfriend’s semi-awkward olive-branchiness toward Cuba and I’m all ‘Oh God of Outdated Political Policy – could it be? Could it really beeeee????? Might we finally be done with this fossilized Cold War crapola?!?’
::: … it has been a goddamned half century, after all … :::

But I don’t think I felt the full weight of what transpired in the world while I was ‘away’ until my vodka-tonic stupor wore off it was revealed that Amy Winehouse is planning to adopt and cracktise some poor little St. Lucian who is clearly unaware that ‘daughter’ and ‘drug mule’ don’t exactly mean the same thing.
::: Run kid — don’t ask for explanations … just run! :::

And so now I’m all ‘Fuuuuuck! What is there to drink for breakfast, anyway …’