Posts tagged ‘history’

In case you didn’t know …


This is what history rewriting itself looks like:

Cheney this week: “No Iraq – 9/11 link”

Cheney 2002 – 2003: So believed there was an Iraq-9/11 link that he (and Rumsfeld) authorized the use of torture to extract evidence of an Iraq-Al Qaeda link from detainees

Cheney 2003: “Could be Iraq – 9/11 link”

Cheney 2004: “Clear link between Iraq and Al Qaeda”

… ok … maybe it’s just what shameless evil looks like.

 

History would do well to erase this motherfucker from it’s memory altogether.
If only it could …

June 3, 2009 at 10:24 am

Geography FAIL


Deception!
Trickery!!
LIES!!!

WE’VE BEEN CHEATED!!!!

Remember that family vakay we were all forced to take during the delicate, formative years of our middle school ‘experience’?
The one where the ‘rents piled our whiny snotnosed selves into the Pace Arrow and headed ‘West to see America’??
The one where you pretzeled yourself in an effort to make sure you had at least one digit representin’ in every spot at Four Corners???

Yeah?
Well, funny thing about that …

“According to readings by the National Geodetic Survey, the Four Corners marker showing the intersection of Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico and Utah is about 2.5 miles west of where it should be.”

SAY WHAT?!?

Ayep – a good old-fashioned fuckup back in 1868 has led to countless Kodak moments where little Timmy and Sue took turns getting a hand in Arizona … and, as it turns out, a foot in Arizona … and another foot in Ariz — well, you get the idea.

That photo album? Pitch it.
That commemorative mug? Ditch it.
That computer screensaver you like so much? Switch it.

Your ‘precious memories’ will get you about as much as the fake Louis the chick at RaceTrac keeps behind the counter.

What – OH WHAT – are we to make of this betrayal, America?!?

Are we just supposed to now assume we are georgewvisiting the real birthplace of George Washington when we go to the Virginia spot the government claims is the exact spot his mamma birthed that bitch?
I don’t think so!

And what about Washintgon’s Mount St. Helens?? How do we know it’s not the bigger, more unstable ‘supposedly dormant’ volcano 2.5 MILES AWAY that nobody talks about because the guy monumentizing shit that day was too lazy to check it out??
We don’t!

And Devil’s Tower in Wyoming? Allegedly our ‘first national monument’??
Oh right! Like I’m really gonna believe Teddy Roosevelt named christened that crap back in 1906!
I wasn’t there!
Were you?!? Nooooo.
The first time I saw that shit was in Close Encounters. For all I know it’s just a really big set prop!

What are we to believe?
Where does this heinous treachery against the American people end?!?

My God — what IS this madness?!?

Next thing you know we’ll find out Santa’s not real!

SOURCE

April 21, 2009 at 3:34 pm 6 comments

Pontificatin’ & Plannifyin’


I’ve been doing some super-cranial calisthenics in an effort to wrap my peabrain around the cries of convoluted coherence and perceived puffed-up pay-outery woven deep into the fabric of my boyfriend‘s massive stimulus package of distributive distraction.
::: frealz, yo — the Cookster’s give OUT! :::

 I’ve been reading the version of the American Recovery and Reinvestment readingisrad1Act of 2009 that was sent to the Senate yesterday and I’ve been reading the very interesting alternative START plan from Rep. Walt Minnick (D- Idaho) and I’ve been listening to pundits and teevee sprayheads on virtually every channel give praise to, complain about, ridicule and otherwise provide their own personal commentary on ‘the plan’ …

… and somewhere outside of all the reading but inside of all the blah blah it became kind of embarassingly aggravatingly painfully clear that most of the voices chiming in should probably just shut it already.
::: I’m not naming names, but their initials are ‘Everyone At NBCABCCBSFOXMSNBC & SomeNewspaperColumnistsDesperatelyTryingToStayRelevant’ … :::

Pet Projects! Exorbitant Pricetags!! Pork PORK PORK!!!
::: OH MY! :::

Yupperonie — the gang’s all there!
But in this New Great Depression, the salient point just may be that one man’s pork is another man’s PAYCHECK.
::: IJS :::

David Leonhardt of The New York Times writes a compelling and exceptionally well researched piece in the February 1 Magazine that, among other things, reminds “Employing people to dig ditches and fill them up again would qualify … Pork and stimulus aren’t mutually exclusive.”

The plan includes money for rural agriculture programs and for the expansion of the Child Nutrition Act of 1966; money for anti-smoking programs and for the refurbishment of national museums.

There’s money for road construction, bridge work, military housing, law enforcement, energy, natural resources, community development, national security and a whole superhaulin’ truckload of other things.
::: OH MY! :::

Bob Barr (the AJC’s resident blowhard) calls PORK! on the $75,000,000 for `Facilities Capital’ at the Smithsonian …
… but conveniently neglects to tell the reader the the money is “for deferred maintenance projects, and for repair, revitalization, and alteration of facilities owned or occupied by the Smithsonian Institution” …
whiiich is billspeak for construction, plumbing, electrical work and technological upgrades …
… and what do we call those nifty things again, kiddies?

That’s right!
JOBS!!!
::: YAY EMPLOYMENT!!! :::

Barr and several sprayhead politico wannabes also call PORK! on that anti-smoking provision — buuuut *WOOPSIE* they all leave out those puffbothersome little things called ‘details’ — like the fact that the provision is part of a broader set of initiatives aimed at addressing “chronic and infectious disease rates and health disparities” including “evidence-based interventions in obesity, diabetes, heart disease, cancer, tobacco cessation and smoking prevention, and oral health.”
You know — all that pesky preventable shit that drives up health care premiums and actual care costs almost exponentially every year as we become fatter … and sicker … and poorer.

Oh but hey, what are you gonna do?
Read the bill to find out if they’re telling you the truth?!?
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Nah …
…  but I did!
::: I’m one cross-eyed, sleep-deprived, headachy ho because of it … but at least I’m an informed ho!! :::

My thought was –  before I open my yap and spew forth vitriol against something I have only a surface understanding of – I might be better served by reading, factifying and performing my own  super serious researchification … and then I can open my yap and spew forth vitriol!
::: RADICAL! :::

Except that once I’d started reading … and reading … and reading —  I didn’t want to channel my inner acrimony. I wanted to read more!
::: … and sleep … :::

I mean, sure – we can all continue to stand around and bitch and moan about the pricetag of the plan and point fingers without ever digging deeper or really knowing anything about any of the shit we’re bitching and moaning and pointing fingers about — and we’ll feel justified this time because of the colossally disastrous way the bailout bill was handled because that makes our cries of ‘NOT AGAIN’ seem valid …

… except they aren’t.
Because it is different.
Because it’s not just spending for spending’s sake (you listening TARPers?!?).
Because it’s growth.

And “growth is the only way for a government to pay off its debts in a relatively quick and painless fashion, allowing tax revenues to increase without tax rates having to rise.”

And before you (and you know who you are!) come at me with crap about who it came from — don’t disagree just to disagree or because you don’t like the backing or you don’t agree 100% with everything you ‘heard’ was in there — read.
All you can.
::: … I think it’s kind of, like, a civic duty or some shit … :::

History — especially post-World War II economic history — is the bombest bitch, dawgs!!

Check it if you can … just don’t blame me for your Visene addiction!

Gat DAM this box is high up!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Throughout the nation men and women, forgotten in the political philosophy of the Government, look to us here for guidance and for more equitable opportunity to share in the distribution of national wealth … I pledge myself to a political campaign. It is a call to arms.”
—- Franklin D. Roosevelt

February 11, 2009 at 6:18 pm 14 comments

Inahhhhhhhhguration


I think I came three times …
… I also don’t think I’m allowed in the Circuit City on Okeechobee anymore – but they’re all going out of business soon, so who cares!!!
::: sorry your losing your jobs in this New Great Depression and all but big ups for letting this slut catch O’Baby’s speech on your wall of 1080i goodness!! :::

It was great! Just what I expected from the hot manwichness of O’Beautiful,  Jon Favreau, et al.
I mean, fortheloveofmoneygodvodka and all that is holy – I didn’t think it was possible to give that big a ‘fuck you’ to someone without actually saying the words!
::: … then again, that might just be because I only know six words :::

I caught the first one way early on!
“Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms .”
::: … a polite one, but a ‘fuck you’ nonetheless :::

“At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.”
::: … as opposed to Dumbya and his 8-year love affair with challenging our primary founding document … so, fuck you #2! :::

“That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood.”
::: fuck you :::
” Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age.”
::: a ‘shared’ fuck you … :::
Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.”
::: Fuuuuck You! :::

“These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. “
::: Oooo — a researchified and intellectualacious fuck you! SPIFFY!! :::

“On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.”
::: Fuck you and the Republitard good ol’ boy network that got you here … :::

“[Our forebears] saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.”
::: An ‘establishment’ fuck you — sweet! :::

“For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act – not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology’s wonders to raise health care’s quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.”
::: A bit hidden, but there it is — a lipsmackin’ DELICIOUS layer of yummy ‘scientifical fuck you’ sandwiched between the action and education fuck yous … CRAFTY!!! :::

“What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them – that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply.”
::: HAHAHA — now that’s just a brass balls BLATANT fuck you! GET THAT SWAGGER ON, HOT STUFF! :::

“The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works – whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. “
::: Brass balls blatant fuck you² !! :::

“And those of us who manage the public’s dollars will be held to account – to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day – because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.”
::: ‘Cuz he knew we’d be gettin’ a little hungry — a tasty slice of fuck you straight from the no-oversight  TARP bailout pie! :::

“Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control – and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous.”
::: And, with that, the Brass Balls Blatant Fuck You TRIFECTA is in play! :::

“As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, our founding fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience’s sake.”
::: 911 911 911 fear fear fear war war war Fuuuuck YOU! :::

“Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please.”
::: How about a little ”diplomacy’ finesse with a some ‘torture IS illegal’ on the side to go with your fuck you?!? :::

Suck it naysayers — he brought it, he bought it — he owns it.

And Dumbya?
Well, I got my guffaw on when – in the absolute LAST possible moment of his entire presidency – it was his own lousy appointee, John Roberts, who misquoted the presidential oath of office.

How symbolic.

BUH BYE NOW!!!!!

PHOTOS: Reuters, AP

January 20, 2009 at 9:08 pm 16 comments

Better late than never, I suppose …


Only took 63 years or so but officials finally, officially, realized and recognized just what, exactly, the Tuskegee Airmen did for the United States. Well, in the pathetically late-to-the-party way Alabama lawmakers typically do … but I digress …

Good things DO come to those who wait … and wait … and wait.

Thousands of people from across the country attended the opening ceremony Friday afternoon at Moton Field in Tuskegee, Alabama.

The Tuskegee Airmen had their beginning here at Moton Field and dared to make a difference,” the Rev. William C. Lennard said. “They did it for God, for themselves and for every citizen of the United States of America. Their persistence, dedication and fortitude enabled them to overcome all manner of challenges.”

The airmen fought Adolf Hitler overseas and Jim Crow on American soil, being degraded as second-class citizens and watching as German prisoners of war were treated better than them.

Don’t look for snark here today, folks. This is a good, WAY longass overdue not-as-good-as-they-deserved-tribute to a class of people who completely outclassed everyone else in their day!

If you don’t know about the Tuskegee Airmen — shame on you.

October 11, 2008 at 11:29 pm 1 comment

There is no ‘team’ in Republican


Big Mac may want to suspend any further thought of suspending things in order to fix things he actually has neither the power, the political clout nor the cajones to fix in the first place.

Seems the Macster and her Alaskan Hotness can’t even count on support from their own party on a bill everyone pretty much agreed wasn’t perfect but was necessary.

You know that’s gotta smart … I bet they must feel like the two weird kids who never got picked for dodgeball.
::: someone’s gonna need a hug :::

Speaking at a rally in Columbus, Ohio Monday afternoon — or as I like to call it ‘Signin’ Day’ – the Mavster defended his bullshit political ploy controversial decision to “suspend” his campaign as an example of his leadership style.
“Inaction was not an option,” he said. “I went to Washington last week to make sure the taxpayers of Ohio and across this great country were not left footing the bill. I’ll never be a president who sits on the sidelines when this country faces a crisis. I’ll never do it.”
::: I’ll take the first five words of the last sentence for EVER, Alex … :::

Too bad no one told his Maveric Beefiness what was happening in Washington as he spoke.
::: current events r kewl, y’all :::

Yeah, he might have toned it down a tad had he known that, even after one of the few ‘working Congressional weekends’ in recorded history where actual thought, planning and … well, WORK took place; even amid marathon negotiations and a final, fatal four-hour floor debate — the House of Representatives voted to reject the purported knight-in-shining-armor $700 billion bailout bill meant to help right our blighted financial landscape.

Yup — the bailout bill, which needed 238 votes, came up 13 votes short — 228 to 205.

Seems some of the seventy-five House GOPers who had previously agreed to support the bill backed out at the last minute.
::: flippity floppity foo! :::

On Wall Street, where traders were watching news of the bailout bill’s bustedness, the Dow Jones sank like a ginormous stone of awful in a sea of enormous tumult — closing down 780 point for the day, which makes it the single largest one-day drop in history — which would be, like, EVER!

Way to go Retardlicans!!!

September 29, 2008 at 9:53 pm

Back in my day …


The time seems fast approaching when I just may find myself using this very phrase — a phrase I have forever associated with a certain craggy geriatric fool waving a jiggly, spotted, paper-skinned arm shakily in the air while yelling at me to get my ‘goddamned dog’ off his lawn …

‘Back in my day …’

See, it dawned on me recently that the generation behind me has no memory of things my peers considered groundbreaking — back in the day.
Remember Prodigy?
*the old internet service, not the totally kick-ASS group responsible for timeless classics like Smack My Bitch Up*

Back in ‘our’ day — we were cool and oh-so-cutting-edge because we were part of the elite group using space-aged new-fangled technologies like email (ooooo) and ‘The Internet’ (aaahhhhh)
 — way, way, WAY back in our day meaning, well, the early 90’s.

But it’s ok.

I may not be old enough to remember some of the big stitches (bring on the hee hee) in the fabric of ‘modern’ time like:
The oil crisis of the 70s (You mean there was one before now?!?  😉
Freddy Prinze, Sr. (who?)
Trash-80s (4 KB of RAM – hahahahaHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!)
dollar-a-gallon gasoline (no link — I’m told it was around a while back …)

But I am old enough to confidently apply the ‘Back in my day’ label to things like:
Timothy McVeigh
::: Back in my day, there was this crazy-ass fucktard bastard American who hated America and all the l’il ol’ Americans in it … :::

eBay
::: Back in my day, you could take any old piece of shit you didn’t want anymore, slap a pricetag on it and watch any idiot with a computer try to buy it … :::

Lemony Snicket
::: Back in my day, there were these freaky-ass books that scared the shit out of kids but it was cool because it reminded them that reading was kinda nifty … well, that and some weirdo boy wizard named Harry or something …:::

and paper plane tickets

Paper Plane tickets going awayYup, that’s right — paper plane tickets.

The paper airline ticket officially goes the way of the dinasaur on Sunday, June 1 (also the beginning of the Atlantic Hurricane Season, but I digress …) when hundreds of carriers switch to all electronic ticketing, much of it through internet booking.
Yay — the Internet wins again!!!!

Take a moment.
Shed a tear.

Now smile and get over it.
Change is good, you old coot! 

May 30, 2008 at 7:31 pm


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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