Posts tagged ‘slut’

Well SOMEONE didn’t get the memo!!


I mean, really, this is basic ‘Ho Code 101’ shit, people.

The bottom-line, the guiding principle, THE golden fucking RULE when you’re bumpin’ fuglies with prominent, married public figures (or, ok, well, anyone who’s initials are NOT YOUR SPOUSE) is to take a chill on workin’ your grill.

It’s that simple.

No need for discussion!

It is immorality’s universally accepted imperative, for chrissakes!!

Yet, every few fornications there comes along some slut who just can’t keep it shut.

From Dynasty cast member wannabe Gennifer Flowers to dimestore hooker doppelganger Jaimee Grubbs to the demented and diapered Lisa Nowak — there’s always some skank who slips up and spoils the secret sexy times by spilling something she shouldn’t have.

Thanks a lot, Paula Broadwell!

Because of you tryin’ to go and blackmail a bitch over email and everything, poor David Petraeus now must foray back into the field of contraband coochie to find some stupid new streetwalker to screw.

Nice.

But the real tragedy here is far worse than whatever future befalls dear David … or you … .

The real tragedy here is bigger, Paula … because it affects me.

Yes, Paula … the catastrophic consequences of your exasperatingly irritating email tirades mean that I now must go buy an ax, find a frickin’ forest, cut down a tree, chop that shit up, build a frickin’ fire, heat up a poker and GOUGE MY FUCKING EYES OUT
in an attempt to rid myself of the mental image of David’s sad old doggy dick doin’ The Cabbage Patch in yet another whore’s hoo-ha!

I live in fucking FLORIDA, Paula!
Do you have any idea how far I have to drive before I wind up in the woods?!?

Fucking FAR, Paula!!

Fucking.
FAR.

ACK!!!

It didn’t have to end like this, Paula.

Or maybe it did.

Because there’s always one hot ho mess out there like you, isn’t there Paula?

Oh yeah there is.

Take it to the bank, gents! 😉

November 12, 2012 at 11:05 pm 4 comments

This aggression will not stand, man!


wpowerThe whores are 20 kinds of pissed and they’re not gonna take your crap anymore, Australia!
::: POWER TO THE PROSTITUTES!!! :::

The professional booty-callers of New South Wales (where pay to play is purrrfectly legal) are so angry about the cost of advertising in local papers that they’re planning to celebrate International Whores Day today in true streetwalker style — with a floozy uprising right outside the NSW Parliament House!

“Why am I charged hundreds of dollars to advertise in local papers when other trade occupations are charged less than $100?” lovely minx Ivy McIntosh wants to know.
::: It’s a good question, fellas … :::

“Sex work is legal in NSW. I’m paying too much for a measly two inches.”

Oh I feel you, girlfriend!
If I had a nickel for every time I paid too much for a measly two inches!!!
Hooboy …

wprotestBut in all seriousness – I echo their outcry.
I mean, Plumber? Pro? What’s the diff? Someone’s gettin’ his pipes cleaned either way!
Fair is fair evil media overlords!!!!

I may even have to start a letter-writing campaing on this one … well, ok … maybe not so much for the whores Down Under as for the ones here.

I mean, don’t the sluts, trollops and skanks of America deserve to take part in these boss ‘International’ holidays?!?
I think we they do.
I think we’ve they’ve earned it.

HEY LOOKIE! I wrote a post about sex and didn’t use ‘fuck’ once! YAY ME … oh … wait …

SOURCE
PHOTOS

June 2, 2009 at 1:52 pm 3 comments


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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