Pinellas pinheads strike again

I remember when even the most severe case of the huffy puffies only got you a trip to the principal’s office.
::: HI Mr. Fischer!!! :::

But these days?
Well, let’s just say they do it a little differently now …
… at least in Pinellas County, Florida!
::: You can always count on Flaaaahriduh! :::

Last week, a kid in Largo had what I have to assume was just THE most stupendously colossal conniption in the history of all conniption fits ever because — instead of making him kick it old school in the corner for the day or write ‘I will not invoke the name of Satan and wish death to rain from the skies’ 1,000 times on the blackboard — his drama queen teachers pulled the ‘bitchass kid is crazy‘ card and had his adolescent ass locked the fuck UP!

Ayep — they Baker Acted a second grader.

Authorities say the 7-year-old boy threw a tantrum so Titanic that his classroom had to be evacuated.
::: Really?!? Do tell!! :::

The child allegedly:
Stepped on a teacher’s foot
::: awwww, someone gots a owchie! :::
Tore up the room
::: NOT gold-star behavior, Johnny! :::
And “battered” a school administrator
::: Oooo, now that one does sound serious! :::

Wait.
That can’t be right — can it?!?

I mean how, exactly, does a 7-year-old ‘batter’ an adult?
They weigh, what? About 55 pounds at that age?
That’s a bag of sweet feed, the big Bil Jac or a few gallons of water, right?
What adult can’t hoist that shit over one shoulder and carry the tempestuous little tadpole straight to the timeout room?

Ooooo — I KNOW! I KNOW!!

Ones who enjoy scaring the crappy cafeteria lunch out of the rest of the class?!?!?
DING DING DING – I think we have a winner!!!
::: Do not FUCK with Mr. Stempley, brats! That dick will put your little snotnosed ass aWAY!! :::

In case you didn’t know …
The Baker Act allows people [7-year-olds] to be taken for mental health examination against their [7-year-old] will. But it requires a [7-year-old] person show a substantial likelihood of causing serious injury to himself or others. Absent that, police cannot use the Baker Act to take [7-year-olds] someone into custody against their [7-year-old] will, even if they think the [7-year-old] person needs help.

Largo deputy police Chief John Carroll said putting Junior in lockdown was the right thing because “This was not the first time the boy had acted up.”
::: Wait. I’m confused … did he act up or did he throw the mother of all way super deadly dangerous tantrums?!? ‘Cuz there’s, like, a really, Really, REALLY huge difference between the two … IJS …:::

“That’s not the purpose of the Baker Act at all,” Raine Johns, who handles Baker Act cases for two Florida counties but  is not involved in this case. “Stepping on somebody’s foot doesn’t rise to the level of substantial bodily harm.”
::: Well someone had his daily allowance of common sense for breakfast! :::

The boy spent a night at Morton Plant Hospital before being seen by a child psychologist and then released … with no charges being filed.
::: … mmmm hmmmmm… :::

“This is a total abuse of police power,” said the boy’s father. “My son has no mental health problems. He’s never hurt himself. He’s never hurt anyone else.”

Oh, don’t worry, dad! It’s not like you’re kid is special or anything!!
Well, not where YOU live, anyway.

Pinellas schools police report they have been involved throwing students in the psych ward 83 times from the beginning of the school year to the start of last week.
::: Now that’s a commitment to commitment!! :::

The boy’s parents are keeping him and a 9-year-old sister out of school because they’re “scared to death” to return.

Sounds solid and all and I’d probably do the same thing but … umm … a word of caution, folks?
Your school system incarcerated your kid for havin’ a hissy … do you really want to find out how they handle truancy?!?

SOURCE

Happy Valentine’s Day, sluts!

Mr. Cookie, you brazen hussies and hot hunks of manflesh … you make up the Lurve Trifecta that jumpstarts my heart every day and I’d give everyone a big wet one if I could … but I can’t …
::: more for Mr. Cookie!! :::

So channel your inner Cupid and go out and gitcha swerve on!!

Nooooo, not because of this bullshit-made-up-Hallmark-originally-pagan- overcommercialized-you-are-in-sooooo- much-trouble-if-you-don’t-buy-that-bitch -a-present holiday …

…because it is a gozillion kinds of fun (and super-DUPER rewarding, if you know what I mean …) to channel your inner Cupid and go out and get your swerve on!!!

Now get to it!

Hot Stuff

I have to apologize because I know this is a couple of days old and I’m sure I missed it because of my one-night stand with the Library of Congress and all but …

AWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

Australian firefighter David Tree gives an injured koala a sip of water.

AWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

The koala, a female that animal rescuers think is between 2 and 4 years old, is now called Sam.  She suffered second-degree burns to her paws as a result of Australia’s wildfires and it’s thought that she’ll be fully healed in seven to eight months.

YAY RECOVERY!!!

Tree, a 26-year smoke jumper told the Reuters news agency:
“You can see how she stops and moves forward and looks at me. It was like a look saying, ‘I can’t run, I’m weak and sore, put me out of my misery’  …
“I yelled out for some water and I sat down with her and tipped the water up. It was in my hand and she reached for the bottle, then put her right claw into my left hand which was cold so it must have given her some pain relief and she just left it there. It was just amazing.” 

Yes, it is — and so are you, you hot slice of (Pete Carroll-looking) kindhearted koala-loving manmeat!

Dave?
If you don’t feel you’ve been properly thanked for you hard work and sacrifice and overall general awesomeness in the face of such a huge and horrific national disaster … talk to me baby …
::: hot Hot HOT!!! ::: 

I know we’re all busy losing our jobs and being foreclosed on and standing in breadlines while we wait for Congress to do something unlikely beneficially congressy in this New Great Depression and all … but just in case anyone finds any change under the couch cushions and wants to get their mitzvah on …

The Red Cross of Australia
Wildlife Victoria
RSPCA Victoria
The Salvation Army of Australia

Feedin’ time!

HOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAWGIES!!!!

Bein’ as we’ez so broke-ass broke an all, I’s oh’veer thinkin’ I’s gonna be shit outta luck an luv this Valentahnz Day — but Wahffel Haus dun saved it fer me!
::: Thank Yew Wahffel Haus!!! :::

They’s off’rin up a real nice candelaht dinner, wut wi’ wyte tablecloth an everthang!
::: ahhh romanse! :::

I s’poze they did it lass year er sumthin like ‘at an fohk’s took to it like salt on a ‘mayter cuz they’s doin’ it a-gin …

… an yew no wut?
I am all a-bout it!!!!

Stan bak! Cuz I’m fixin’ to git twiiny kinds o’ Skatter’d, Smuther’d, Kuhver’d, Chunk’d, Top’d an Dahs’d!!

SOURCE

Ahead of his time

Someone sent Greg Mankiw this –>
“Calvin & Hobbes” comic strip  from 15 years ago that sums up today’s bailout situation rather succinctly … enjoy!

(Click for full view)