Posts tagged ‘yuck’

Dieting Help


ctop

Your welcome.

You are free to go about your day now that you’ve completely lost your appetite.

June 17, 2009 at 5:36 pm 3 comments

The devil’s in the details


fox61
Looking at this picture briefly made me wish I lived in Tennessee because I thought it would be hee-heeriffic to be a part of the obviously budget-conscious, cheapass crazy antics of the FOX 61 News at Ten team.

I mean, check out the fierce ‘Bitch, please!’ expressions those harsh whores are workin’!
Sundays must be Slap-A-Ho night at the newsplex!

And those Jaclyn Smith Collection blazers and granny pearls?
HAHAHA!!
Who do they think they’re fooling with that shit? Those skanks are totally rockin’ the Cherokee shorts and sitting on plastic lawn chairs behind that ultra-hein Office Depot remnant cherry laminate ‘set’!

Blink and you might have missed the dude scratchin’ his crack in the back.
I bet it was John Charlton — that guy looks like a butt-picker from birth!

And what about the South Park Towelie and Klan hood?
That’s gonna ma …. Wait. The What?

South Park Towelie and Klan hood!?!

weirdstuffMmmm HMMMMM

I mean, ok ok — I admit it – at first I was all ‘TOWLIE!!!’ because, well, I’m three and that shit is funny to me!

But then the ewwww took over and I was all  “WHATTAHFUCK?!?” when I saw that creepy mess under the desk.

Seriously — I have questions!

Who thought this would be funny for ‘on-air’?
What kind of coked-up crackie logic led to this fuckery??
Was anyone fired??
Was there audience outrage???
Why have the networks not chronicled this yuck with some meritoriously righteous indignation?!?
Why hasn’t a blue-ribbon panel been commissioned to investigate this ick?
What in hate group hell is going on in Tennessee, people?!?

Enquiring mind wants to know!

April 14, 2009 at 3:53 pm 5 comments

BAD Penny!


What is this?
Oneupsmanship Week?

First we witness master moron Renee Vanalsburg stright up clobber reigning douchebagette Genine Compton in our sacredly senseless Dumb Bitch category and now we find that some callous cow named Penelope Jordan is giving Robert M. Rozenti — the de facto Awful Offspring poster child — a serious run for his money!

<— Rozenti, you may remember, is the gross muddascunt who was arrested in January and charged with neglecting his 90-year-old mother, who was found emaciated, left in urine-soaked clothes and wearing shoes that had grown into her feet!!!

Jordan, on the other hand, is the putrid progeny who was discovered this week to have kept her mother’s mummified remains in their home for so long that the woman’s skin fused to the fucking mattress!!!!!!
::: yes, deserving of six exclamation points :::

The unholy bitch told police she never reported mummy’s death because she “couldn’t afford burial expenses” … and that shit might have even been the teensiest bit believable if she hadn’t also been cashing the not-so-dearly departed’s Social Security checks for years and years and years.

A complaint about nuisance cats tipped off authorities that something wasn’t right at the Jordan ‘stead. An animal control officer removing possibly feral felines there called police after finding the front door open with no one home.

But Penelope the prevaricator was there when the cops arrived and gave them some cock-and-bull canard about her mother’s whereabouts before extending the outrageously inane invitation to ‘come inside’.

They did.

And after wading through wall-to-wall debris, investigators found poor old and definitely dead 96-year-old Timmie Jordan — still in her nightgown — her skin fused to the mattress.

Penelope is charged with fraud and grand theft and is being held in lieu of $20,000 bail Tuesday at the Indian River County Jail.

You know, if there is any justice in the world, ya gotta hope ol’ Penny finds herself sharing a cell with some truly savage soul who has a predilection for pervy whores and likes long shanks in the shower.

Ya gotta, right?
Well, I do …

March 25, 2009 at 4:36 pm 2 comments

HAHAHAHA … noooooo


toilet_rest_0219

Apparently, this shit ^ is all the rage in Taiwan.

(I wonder if they’re actual bathrooms are Wallypop equipped … ) 

SOURCE & PHOTO

March 5, 2009 at 11:08 am 10 comments

POP QUIZ!!!


18311284_640x360ht_tuckruskye_081216_mn

OK OK OK – Can anyone tell me what these two hoochie twats have in common?

Is it:
1.) A deep love of peroxide?
2.) The Jaclyn Smith collection at K-Mart?
3.) The two-for-one burger bonanza at Checkers?
4.) A penchant for prepubescent peen?

From the looks of these, uhh, “ladies” you might logically conclude 1, 2 OR 3 … but it’s actually Number Four that binds these bitches together as sisters in sin.
::: Calling SHAME – party of two? SHAME – party of two … :::

yuckHo’bag on the left is 45-year-old Elizabeth Gaddy, who likes Maybelline products, long walks on the beach and gettin’ touchy with 13-year-old schoolboys at her house or on a dirt road or, you know, wherever … 

And the raggedy piece of dried-up skank on the right is 44-year-old Joan Tuckruskye, who likes to get nekkid in the back of her Nissan Pathfinder and offer [you guessed it] 13-year-olds a slice of her fuit-pie nasties.

You know, not for nothin’ here, but there really outta be a national outreach program dedicated to training our youth in Black Ops evasion techniques and supersweet Ninja moves so they can bust a bitch UP and swing on outta there whenever one of these post-menopausal mastodons makes a move on their jubbly bits.

No joke!
Teach the children … and teach them well – because you can NEVER underestimate the destructive power of Avon perfume, Strawberry Hill and needy middle-aged vag strapped with little-boy LoJack … that shit will mess you UP!

December 19, 2008 at 3:39 pm 11 comments

Udderly Ridiculous


38-year-old MOOooorestown, New Jersey police officer Robert Melia Jr. can add ‘cow fucker’ to his résumé after being charged with four counts of animal cruelty for allegedly engaging in sex acts with cows between June and December of 2006.

And, yes, I mean the milk-producing, cud-chewing, hamburger-in-the-making bovine kind … not those tracked up, one-eyed truck-stop lot lizards who can eat corn-on-the-cob through a barbed-wire fence.

But, hey, if we’re being honest – I think it’s safe to assume he’d do them too …

December 16, 2008 at 9:54 pm 4 comments


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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