Posts tagged ‘year in review’

So that happened …

With the Newtown Massacre just a super-sized slice of  STILL TOO FRESH :(, it’s no small wonder that my snark just isn’t as up-to-snuff as I like that shit to be.

So I’m not even gonna go there right now.

But I’ll leave you with this …

… and tease you with this snippet of a soon-to-be-revealed MAJOR AWARD — Major Awardthe likes of which is eternally unparalleled with any accolade ever accorded to any living organism ever to have existed throughout the entirety of all of the ages known the man!!!

Yup, it’s that big.

December 31, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Pure Awesome

December 31, 2009 at 12:56 pm 6 comments

Year in Review: Blonde Edition

Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.
Helllloooo!!! Bottles won’t fit in printer!!!
Got really excited!! Finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months … box said ‘2-4 years!’
Trapped on escalator for hours! Power went out!!!
Tried to make Kool-Aid … wrong instructions … 8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets!!!
Tried to go water skiing … couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
Lost breast stroke swimming competition. Learned later the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
Got locked out of my car in rain  storm … car swamped because soft-top was open.
The capital of California is ‘C’ … isn’t it???
Hate M & M’s! They are so hard to peel!!
Baked turkey for 4½ days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108 …
Couldn’t call 911 … duh! There’s no ‘eleven’ button on the stupid phone!!!

Disclaimer: No blondes were harmed in the writing of this hee hee, although I can’t say that for certain as the content is not original to LIAC but merely reformatted and posted here for your non-alcoholic enjoyment, although it may be funnier if you were completely blitzed when you read it and so I suggest you knock a few back and try reading it again to maximize the experience you know you want to have … oh and by the way Cookie is a natural blonde who has been known on occasion to change hair color to satisfy childish whims but the point is that blonde bitches shouldn’t be offended by this shit because it’s hella funny and if you’re a blonde bitch who is offended by this shit then email me privately for the written ass-kicking your delicate white-bred pansy fanny obviously needs as well as the number of a good therapist because you clearly need serious mental attention and pharmaceutical intervention.
THE ANTHEM!! – by Julie Brown

December 31, 2008 at 11:29 am 7 comments

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