Posts tagged ‘year in review’

So that happened …


With the Newtown Massacre just a super-sized slice of  STILL TOO FRESH :(, it’s no small wonder that my snark just isn’t as up-to-snuff as I like that shit to be.

So I’m not even gonna go there right now.

But I’ll leave you with this …

… and tease you with this snippet of a soon-to-be-revealed MAJOR AWARD — Major Awardthe likes of which is eternally unparalleled with any accolade ever accorded to any living organism ever to have existed throughout the entirety of all of the ages known the man!!!

Yup, it’s that big.

Advertisements

December 31, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Pure Awesome


December 31, 2009 at 12:56 pm 6 comments

Year in Review: Blonde Edition


January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
 
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.
Helllloooo!!! Bottles won’t fit in printer!!!
 
March
Got really excited!! Finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months … box said ‘2-4 years!’
 
April
Trapped on escalator for hours! Power went out!!!
 
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid … wrong instructions … 8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets!!!
 
June
Tried to go water skiing … couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
 
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition. Learned later the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
 
August
Got locked out of my car in rain  storm … car swamped because soft-top was open.
 
September
The capital of California is ‘C’ … isn’t it???
 
October
Hate M & M’s! They are so hard to peel!!
 
November
Baked turkey for 4½ days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108 …
 
December
Couldn’t call 911 … duh! There’s no ‘eleven’ button on the stupid phone!!!

Disclaimer: No blondes were harmed in the writing of this hee hee, although I can’t say that for certain as the content is not original to LIAC but merely reformatted and posted here for your non-alcoholic enjoyment, although it may be funnier if you were completely blitzed when you read it and so I suggest you knock a few back and try reading it again to maximize the experience you know you want to have … oh and by the way Cookie is a natural blonde who has been known on occasion to change hair color to satisfy childish whims but the point is that blonde bitches shouldn’t be offended by this shit because it’s hella funny and if you’re a blonde bitch who is offended by this shit then email me privately for the written ass-kicking your delicate white-bred pansy fanny obviously needs as well as the number of a good therapist because you clearly need serious mental attention and pharmaceutical intervention.
THE ANTHEM!! – by Julie Brown

December 31, 2008 at 11:29 am 7 comments



Creative Commons License
Lifeisacookie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.


%d bloggers like this: