Posts tagged ‘yay’

London Calling


It is ON!
I am DOIN’ it!!
You better be ready, Great Britain!!!

Lock up the London Cookiebooze and tie up the hounds, ’cause this¬†little trick is LONDON-bound!!

Gonna take in the Thames, check out Ye Old Cheshire Cheese, make my way through the Tate Modern, eat a bite at the crypt cafe in the Church of St. Martin In The Fields, see St. James Park, the Blue Bridge, the Churchill War Rooms, the Wallace Collection, Westminster Abbey, Big Ben, Fleet Street, Dickens House, Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square, Tower Bridge, Piccadilly Circus, Foyles, London Bank, Green Friday Market … man, I am gonna do it ALL!

Now, y’all have to promise to behave while I’m gone — m’kay pumpkins??
I might even bring you some spotted dick if you’re really good! ūüėČ

Later, bitches!

November 27, 2012 at 4:28 pm 1 comment

IT’S HEEEEERRRRRRRRRRE!!!!!!!!!


I’m so excited!!¬†I’m so excited!!¬†I’m so excited!!¬†I’m so excited!!¬†I’m so excited!!¬†I’m so excited!!¬†I’m so excited!!

In just a few SWEET hours my absolute favorite thing in the whole and entire UNIVERSE happens!!!!
::: No, not THAT! ūüėČ :::

AUBURN FOOTBALL KICKS OFF!!!!!

auburn_tigersI mean, ok, despite taking a number one QB (KODI myheartBURNSforyou) and inexplicably making him a second team Wide Receiver (?!?!?!) and putting that awsome hot young thing Tyrik Rollison at third-team QB – behind those fuckers who couldn’t get it done last season – Chris Todd and Neil Caudle (does NOT compute!) – WHATEVER! I don’t care (right now)! Because today it’s all possibilities and sunshininess and glittery rays of promise coming down from the heavens for my beloved AU and NOTHING (right now) will get in the way of the audacious hopification I am vibing (right now)!!!
And, not for nothing, but let’s just hope my guys keep it classy instead of going 20 kinds of dumbass like Oregon’s LeGarette Blount did last night on the Smurf Turf at Boise State.
Dumbfuckery Supreme!!

September 4, 2009 at 10:27 am 5 comments

No. Sleep. ‘Till. BROOKLYN!


Y’all know I don’t really ‘do’ follow-ups, but since I also don’t really ‘do’ rules or structure or anything resembling something one would consider organized in any way whatsoever – I can ‘do’ whatever I want!
::: yes, it’s great to be me :::

Remember when the NYC powers that be went all¬†‘full bag of ass’ on the homeless recently?
Well, take a seat kids because those gub’mint windbags found some pity for the poors and are now baby-steppin’ toward benevolence!

Big Apple big shots are backing agreements to house homeless families in unsold luxury condos in Brooklyn.

The apartments are in the in Crown Heights section, have amenities that include granite countertops, terraces, marble bathrooms and walk-in closets and were supposed to sell for $250,000 to $350,000 … you know, back in the olden times when people actually had cool shit like cash monies and credit so they could BUY a place of their own …
::: mem-reez … light the corners of my mind … :::

But times are hard and pretty much every third person on the planet is out of work, out of luck and out on the street — so hobo housing is where it’s at!

The city is paying about $2,700 a month for each apartment, which includes awesomeness like social services and job counseling.

This is goodness — straight UP!

And you asshats who try to get your comment on and go all ‘Get a job, ya bums’ with your high-and-mightiness?
Step back, get a clue and REKONIZE that homelessness is a national problem that’s growing to epidemic proportions due to the economy, foreclosures, the economy, job losses, the economy and so on AND that one in every 50 children in our fair land will be homeless at some point.

So those ‘lazy fucking bums’ you’re always bitching about?
Ya, they don’t even¬†rank in the top 100 anymore, ‘kay judgmentals?

THIS is goodness. This is a start …

SOURCE

June 4, 2009 at 3:29 pm 2 comments

Come to mommy …


I LOVE SIGNING DAY!!!

signingdayIt’s like Christmas morming when you wake up to the happy smiley realization that it IS possible to forget all the shit from the last several months in the giddy excitement of watching all those glittery shiny¬†pages of hope get signed!

… and already we have a surprise signee in Five-Star Wide Receiver DeAngelo Benton!
::: YAY!!! :::

Considered one of the nation’s top receivers coming out of high school, Benton is douchebag replacement for¬†the Tubernator¬†Gene Chizik’s biggest signing surprise.
::: … Coach Retard takes the first step down the long road to redemption … :::

Benton’s signing was¬†followed another big catch in four-star Wide Receiver Emory Blake of Austin, Texas and then three-star Defensive End Nosa Eguae!
::: EEEEEeeeeee!!!!!!!! :::

NOON UPDATE:
Oh glory BE – Texas’s four-star QB Tyrik Rollison knows it’s great to be an Auburn Tiger!!
::: SO FUCKING EXCITED!!! :::

NOON THIRTY UPDATE:
Four-star Running Back Dontae Aycock and four-star Defensive Back Taikwon Paige will be doin’ the Tiger Walk!!

Oooohhhh — but Bryce Brown … how you torment me!!!

1 P.M. UPDATE:
Poo on toast!
Linebacker hottie Tana Patrick pickes the hated Crimson Tide!!!
Damn you Sata … err, Saban!

3 P.M. UPDATE:
ACK!

From al.com:
The national recruiting champion is . . .

It depends on which recruiting service. And it’s far from over. In 30 minutes, this could all change, and probably will. But as of 1:25 p.m., LSU was ahead in Rivals. Alabama was No. 4 and Auburn 17th.
::: I think I should just start drinking already … :::

And what up with Reuben Randle?!? I mean, I don’t think we’re in the mix here but I’d be all YIPPEEE if he snubbed Bama for the other Tigers …

4 P.M. UPDATE:
The day is shaping up pretty much like¬†I expected … except I should TOTALLY be drinking already!
::: CURSE YOU MISSED OPPORTUNITY!!! :::

Florida Running Back Trent Richardson makes pact with the devil and signs with the Crimson Snide … feh

NEARISH FIVISH UPDATE:
Bryce Brown is holding off until Monday to decide.
MONDAY!!!
Fucking tease!

I swear if I didn’t have to crank¬†out some junk miles to¬†work the¬†stress off I’d start ¬†knockin’ ’em back in 5 … 4 …

AFTERISH FIVISH UPDATE:
Kenny Bell chooses LSU over Alabamahahahahaha!!!!!

… developing …

February 4, 2009 at 5:01 pm 8 comments

You like me! You really like me!


cookieyeahI’m gettin’ my Sally Field moment on because¬†my hard work undeniable insanity, dedication dementia and deference to the sanctity of the written word unquenchable thirst for snark has FINALLY paid off!
::: YAY PAYOFF!!!¬† … and I mean that in¬†the strictly NON-Rod Blagojevich sense … :::

I just found out¬†that¬†my special brand of crazyass commentary¬†has rubbed off on at least ONE of you sluts, and now¬†I’m all ‘yeah’ and ‘woo hoo’ and stuff!
::: YEAH and WOO HOO ‘n stuf!!! :::

‘Huh?’ you say?
::: … stay with me Jethro … :::

Textimps¬†– the site dedicated to helping¬†bloggers¬†get exposure – has¬†made selected chosen¬†annointed CROWNED me, moi, yours truly, this birdbrained bitch’s blog that occasionally brings the BWAHAHAHA!!!¬†as their ultra-special, first-class, top-shelf¬†¬†Site of the Week.

SITE OF THE WEEK, PEOPLE!!!!!

This.
is.

HUGE!

I mean, there’s no plaque or trophy or certificate or anything [is there???] just the sweet sweet satisfaction of knowing that my shit isn’t just for hookers hopped up on pills,¬†losers under prison lockdown or wacked-out nutjobs kickin’ it old-school style¬†in a psych ward padded cell.

txtxtimpsNO! I’m, like,¬†a gozillion plus infinity¬†times more specialer than that!!

Am so!
I have infected corrupted perverted disturbed TOUCHED at least one normal, productive member of society!!!!
::: My teachers and guidance counselors and parole officer and Judge Schneider and the guy at the deli and, well, you were all wrong!!! I AM SOMEBODY!!!!!! :::

The rest of you hussies should just submit now. Frealz.
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!!

… isn’t this how pandemics start? …

January 6, 2009 at 4:46 pm 18 comments

Morning Quickie


My streak continues …

Chicago workers end window plant sit-in
“Laid-off workers at a Chicago window factory ended a five-day sit-in after banks agreed to lend the failed company $1.75 million for outstanding wages and benefits, union officials said Wednesday.”

Yesterday’s Prediction

December 11, 2008 at 11:18 am 10 comments


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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