Posts tagged ‘world’

The whole world in his hands


According to a new BBC-sponsored GlobeScan poll, the world has tasted what Barack is serving — and the world likes it!

“Large numbers of people around the world clearly like what Barack Obama represents,” said GlobeScan chairman Doug Miller.

Well duuuhhh! Of course they do!!
Every time my boyfriend opens his mouth – cute little puppies, butterflies and rainbows fly out! Who doesn’t like puppies, butterflies and rainbows?!?

Republicans – that’s who!
They like war and guns and the death penalty and crazy, naughty bathroom time and … well, they’ll just piss all over your cute little puppies, bite the wings off your butterflies and relegate your rainbows to those crazy, naughty bathroom times they don’t talk about.
::: tappy tap tap … :::

“… only one in five think a McCain presidency would improve on the Bush administration’s relations with the world,” Miller said of his poll’s results.

And my bleeding, commie, pinko heart totally gets that.

But the teeny skeptic I keep locked inside my deeply troubled mind thinks the world may want to go back to school for a little remedial Ass-Kissing 101. You know, just in case Big Mac and the Alaskan Hotness come out on top in November.

Imagine a world where the out-of-place, insecure, picked-on kids everyone hates win the class election and suddenly have oodles of power and cool, destructive toys at their disposal.

Yeah, that’ll  end well …

September 12, 2008 at 12:53 pm 1 comment

Oh, those cunning British linguists!


Political correctness policeA bunch of Brits have decided to do away with the much-overused business term ‘brainstorming’ as it may possibly, perhaps, plausibly but probably not cause distress to epileptics who are ‘so sensitive that anything with the word “brain” in it causes distress’.

Instead, they propose that we engage in ‘thought showering’ during meetings designed for idea generation.

Oh, well done, British Idiots!!!! Splendid idea!

But why cater to just the epileptics?!?
I can think of several other words and phrases to, umm, ‘modify’ for LOTS of other groups …

For instance, it is highly likely that use of the business cliché ‘brain dump’ might seriously offend the horrifically incontinent.
Can you just imagine  the shitstorm that  phrase has probably caused over the years? We can’t have that. So, instead of saying ‘brain dump’, I propose we ‘undergo an excretory thought-elimination process’.
You’re feelin’ me, right?

And while I’m at it — I know for a FACT that the closet-claustrophobe in the conjoining cubicle hates to be encouraged to ‘think outside the box’ but would much rather be encouraged to ‘cogitate externally from within’.
::: You didn’t think I cared, did you Martha!?! :::

Oooo, ooo — and Gaylord? On the third floor? I know Gay would much rather ‘thrust against the big, broad horizon’ than be urged to blandly ‘push the envelope’.
::: Gay TOTALLY feels me — my HR department can attest to that:::

Yup, I’ll back the Brits on this movement because I think it’s very important that, going forward moving in a future-advancing motion, we not drop the ball fell the orb on this issue but rather bring our A-game tranport a primary-vowel achievement when it comes to making the language of business corporate-centered vernacular appropriate for everyone pluralistically agreeable.

 Anything less just wouldn’t be civically rectitudinous!

June 20, 2008 at 7:17 pm 3 comments



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