Posts tagged ‘white’

Thursday Theatrics – Giuliani Style!

Rudy “9-11” Giuliani’s 22-year-old douchebag son has filed a 198-page lawsuit against Duke University for cutting him from the school’s golf team.
::: I OBJECT! :::

Andrew Giuliani says Duke is in ‘breach of contract’ by cutting him because he was ‘recruited’ by the previous golf staff.

WOW! Recruited! He must be GOOD then, right???
Umm, like no ‘n stuff?

Yummy stats, anyone?

  • Last season The Blue Devil’s golf team had 14 players.
  • Rudy’s Runt was one of nine players who competed in only one or two tournaments.
  • The team’s top five golfers, on the other hand, competed in at least nine tournaments.
  • Pussyboy’s best finish was a tie for 36th at the Fighting Illini Invitational.
  • Asscrack’s season competition average was 74.5, which made him the 12th best player on the 14-player team.
    ::: Duke’s the one who should be suing! Just who the hell was the asshat who ‘recruited’ this loser?!? :::
  • So the coach decides to whittle the team to about half its size and used the time-tested practice of keeping the best players — but ‘Drool wasn’t havin’ any of that action and got all ‘don’t you know who I am?!?’

    They did.
    You’re a loser.
    They cut you.
    That’s life.

    There is no ‘Andrew’ in TEAM.

    Andouche said he’s suing because privileged uppercrusters like him always gets what they want and no way some golf-pro wannabe teacher is gonna stand in his way “to make sure this doesn’t happen to anyone else at Duke.”
    Bitch forgot to mention he’s also suing for as much money as he can shake from the Duke dollar tree ‘unspecified compensatory damages’ and use of the school’s state-of-the-art golf center (while he is in school and after he graduates).
    Drama Queen also wants a jury trial.

    So does mommy.

    “This has been heartbreaking,” Donna Hanover, said in a statement. “We tried for many months to convince members of the Duke administration that because we are rich and white ‘the rules’ don’t apply to us this situation should be corrected and we are pissed off and looking for retribution sad that we have now had to turn to the court.”

    If this ginormous waste of time and taxpayer dollars does go to trial, I hope it’s on teevee and Judge Judy gets the call so she can brand his pampered puss with her own special brand of ‘I don’t think so!’
    I would TIVO the hell outta that shit and throw a big ol’ Bew Hew Ball so people could gather to eat popcorn and point and laugh hysterically at little Andy … just like those lucky bastards at Duke get to do every day!

    Good times!

    July 24, 2008 at 7:54 pm 6 comments

    Dumb in Dallas

    Intersection of Stupid and DumbassThe PC Police are at it again … this time in Dallas County, Texas where a snoozer of a meeting about traffic tickets turned all kinds of nasty as quick as 1-2-3 over the use of one of the world’s most common astronomy terms.

    1. Commissioner Kenneth Mayfield, who is white, said it seemed that central collections office “has become a black hole” because paperwork routinely gets lost there.

    2. That caused Commissioner John Wiley Price, who is black, to shout “Excuse me!” before correcting his pigment-deficient colleague, saying the office has become a “white hole.” 

    3. And that caused Judge Thomas Jones, also black, to demand an apology from whitey Mayfield for his racially insensitive comment.

    Seriously people — this again?!?
    I feel a crying jag coming on.

    For the record …
    Black Hole:
  • An area of space-time with a gravitational field so intense that its escape velocity is equal to or exceeds the speed of light.
  • A great void; an abyss: The government created a bureaucratic black hole that swallows up individual initiative.
    Source: American Heritage Dictionary

    White Hole:
  • The reversal of a black hole.
  • A theoretical celestial object that ejects matter.
    Source: Unabridged (v 1.1)

    I’ll grant you, so far the 2008 Verbal Retardation Award has to go to the Brits who wanted to ban ‘brainstorming’ in favor of ‘thought showering’  — but these Dallas County Commissioners have definitely earned themselves a most dishonorable mention in the ’20 Kinds of Asshatednessly Overboard Responses’ subcategory.

    What other perfectly legit words and phrases will we next be asked to quit?
    Hmmmmmmm …..

  • Will we never have another black out?
    ::: Los Angelinos rejoice — right? :::
  • Do they stop searching for the black box after plane crashes?
  • Will companies have to stop reporting that they’re in the black?
    ::: Not many are actually doing that right now anyway :::
  • Should Sikorsky rename the Black Hawk helicopter — and (ACK!) what about Ridley Scott’s movie of the same name — guess that puppy’s got to be redone.
  • What’s to become of the folks currently living in Black Lick, Pennsylvania?
    ::: where o’ where will Aunt Midge’s mail go?!?!?! :::
  • Will Publix stop carrying black cherry soda?
  • Do I no longer have to fear black cats?
  • Can anarchists no longer fly their black flag?
  • Does Germany need to rename the Black Forest?
  • Will families no longer have black sheep?
    ::: don’t get excited Cleetus – you’ll always have that honor :::

  • God help the environmentalists once the aliens go PC …

    July 10, 2008 at 4:18 pm 6 comments

    Hung up on race, gender and age

    Obama Clinton McCain

    I think we can forget about getting past ‘the race issue’ or ‘the gender issue’ or ‘the age issue’ this never-ending primary season.

    ::: Sigh :::

    I’ve been waiting for at least ONE issue to take root and flower into a real point of discussion but Primary-palooza 2008 hasn’t seen any deep, meaningful discussion on a national level about important things like Hillary’s health care plan or Barry’s foreign policy views or Johnny’s back-and-forth on immigration reform … no, no.
    We don’t care about that junk. The issues we care about are race, gender and age.

    Is he black enough? Excuse me?
    Can a woman really lead a nation? Are you kidding?
    How old it ‘too old’ when it comes to being president?
    Is this in dog years?

    Iraq, Iran, North Korea, the European Union, mortgage meltdowns, credit crises, natural disasters, economic collapse … Hillary drank a shot, Barack shot a game of pool, what did Chelsea say about Monica, McCain called his wife the C-word, Rev. Jeremiah Wright said something bad, Hillary said ‘white’ …

    Ya …
    It’s ok – I already know which ones got your attention. Everyone knows. That’s why THOSE are the ‘campaign issues’ getting teevee airtime.

    ::: double sigh :::

    Is our national identity really so inextricably bound to its white, male dominated foundation that we can’t seem to collectively get past the fact that only one of three candidates left in the running for our country’s highest office is one – and an old one at that?!?

    Seems so.

    But is this really surprising?
    Seems not.
    Three things American’s don’t value much (don’t argue — check your history – it’s true):
    The Elderly
    The very things we’re completely hung up on while trying to select our next President.
    Oh goody – because what’s more American than tunnel-vision?

    So Barry’s half black – yay!
    So Hills has a vadge and tatas — woo hoo!
    And Big Mac is, like, a thousand years old – awesome!

    To my mind, these characteristics neither qualify nor disqualify any candidate from running, yet they seem pivotal to electability this season. People are voting based on nothing more than this one piece of info …

    They are. They have. They will again in November.

    It’s a crying shame because if the past eight years taught us nothing it should have proven beyond all doubt that the old saying is true:
    The most dangerous weapon known to man is an ill-informed voter.

    What kind of president do you want? One who looks like you or one who cares about you (the two are not necessarily mutually exclusive, you know …)

    May 15, 2008 at 7:01 pm 2 comments

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