Posts tagged ‘white house’

Some things never change


That was 2004.

And he’s right.
That (hate) train is never late.

Which is a million gozillion times beyond the saddest of sad things ever to spur sadness in the entire and collective history of the known universe.
At least it is for me.

Because, here I was, all peppy, proud and playfully politically puffy thinking folks were out there reading important shit, learning important shit and basically gettin’ their social and political shit all kinds of together.

Californians passed Proposition 30, which is a combined four-year, quarter-cent general sales tax increase and an income tax increase for people who make at least $250,000 a year. The money is projected to raise an average of $6 billion annually for the state’s general fund and education to prevent nearly $6 billion in “trigger cuts,” mostly to education, this year.

::: Yay Education! :::

Ballot initiatives allowing same-sex marriage passed in Washington state, Maryland and Maine.

::: Yay Equal Rights!! :::

Ballot measures legalizing pot in Colorado and Washington both passed, and initiatives legalizing marijuana for medical purposes in Massachusetts and Arkansas passed.

::: Yay Cheeto, err, Progressive Revenue Streams!!! :::

But then, alas, it happened.

The veritable tidal wave of racist rants I was fervently hoping against all possible hope would not be thought, typed or otherwise idiotically ideated flat out flooded the Twittersphere — with exactly who you’d expect to see barfing the most bigotry — Alabama and Mississippi.

::: Some things never change … :::

Racist Tweet

::: belch :::

Racist Tweet

::: blech :::

And I’m all ‘Goddamn you Alabama! Why can’t you make the news for something positive just ONCE?!’
ACK to infinity!!!

You are home to my two greatest joys and loves — my family and my beloved, sacred, down-on-their-luck-at-the-moment-but-ready-to-
RISE Auburn Tigers!!!
My happy places!!!

Why must you balance such wondrous glory and goodness with the kind of gut-level asshattery that should have died out MORE than decades ago?!?!
Quadruple ACK to infinity!!!!!

… oh, but I digress … this isn’t about me … it’s about an informed electorate … only not so much …

Floating Sheep produced a frighteningly telling geocoded map showing a spike in small-minded Tweets after election day.

They used a location quotient inspired measure (LQ) indicating each state’s share of election hate speech tweet relative to its total number of tweets. A score of 1.0 indicates that a state has relatively the same number of hate speech tweets as its total number of tweets. Scores above 1.0 indicate that hate speech is more prevalent than all tweets, suggesting that the state’s “Twitterspace” contains more racists post-election tweets than the norm.

Mississippi and Alabama have the highest LQ measures with scores of 7.4 and 8.1, respectively.

Some things people never change.

Ed. Note: I know it’s easy to be stupid and roll around in stupidity all day just being stupid and all … but now and then, just occasionally, every once in a while, open a fucking book and learn something rather than just sitting around spewing the stupid that just makes you look, well, STUPID!
This is why it’s called The White House, kittens:
It is a reference to the color of the house.
The porous sandstone walls of the building were coated with a mixture of lime, rice glue, casein and lead, which give it the white color and led to the familiar name.
It was originally called the “President’s Palace”, but was changed to “Executive Mansion” in 1810 to avoid connections with royalty.
People have always (always) historically referred to the building as the white house because of its appearance.
President Theodore Roosevelt officially adopted the name “The White House” on Oct. 12, 1901.

P.S. Pumpkins: Four More Years. Yep. Deal with it, bitches! 🙂

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November 10, 2012 at 3:42 pm

¡ bueno está !


Oh my god people – STOP emailing me about this bitch, ‘kay?

She is not – I repeat – NOT a threat to my plans for world domination (nestled psychotically lovingly smack dab in the middle of O’Beautiful and the HBIC herself – Mmmmmmm)!

Michaele Salahi can’t even spell her own first name right. You think I’m worried about that mess?
HELLZ NO!

She’s a reality show wannabe aging fame-seeking hag who’s looking to extend her platinum extensions into the lamentable ‘Real Housewives’ legacy.

Oh yeah, there’s a skank I’m scared of.
NOT!

So she got to shake hands with my boyfriend.
So what.

So she got to break bread with mah boo.
So what.

So she got to touch the hand of the most glitteriest shiniest wonderiffic human on the planet.
So … whore.

She’s nothing more than Tila Tequilla in better clothes; Balloon Boy without the pushy parents.
She’s so over she’s not even worth the consonants and vowels I’ve wasted on her no-invite skank ass already!

She’ll soon learn what life is really like — bound by the severe restrictions of a Secret Service restraining order!

HAHAHAHA – oh HO yeah – when she can withstand that kind of wretchedness and still come out stalking … then, maybe – we’ll talk.

Until then, the bitch got no play!

It shoudda been us, O’Baby … it shouldda been us …

December 1, 2009 at 11:18 am 8 comments

Pass that doobie, Dick!


I don’t know what Dick Cheney is smoking but I WANTS ME SOME!!!

America’s evil overlord says no one saw saw the economic crisis coming and, oh yeah – nobody at the CIA has done anything wrong!

THAT IS SOME GOOD SHIT, Y’ALL!!!

Darth Cheney spun his fantastical web of lies to an Associated Press reporter who probably had to coerce the beastmaster sign some sort of legal document stating he promised not to – at any point during the interview – attempt to drain the blood from the reporter’s veins and drink it as an afternoon cocktail, quarter small children using chopsticks and piano wire or turn the reporter into a psycho robot killer with his demonic laser stare of doom.
::: LOOK AWAY!!!! :::

Once Ol’ Snarly scrawled his 666, the interview was on.
::: It’s the Fuzzy Logic History Hour with Uncle Dick – YAY!!! :::

He said there is no reason, no reason whaaaaatsoever for Dumbya to even give one little thought [like he’s capable of another kind] to pre-emptively pardoning anyone at the CIA because it’s just a giant ball of CRAZY to think anyone there would have been involved in any of those way harsh interrogationny tactics the rest of the world affectionately calls torture. Nuh uh! Nosireee!!!

“I don’t have any reason to believe that anybody in the agency did anything illegal,” he monotoned while playfully tasering Agent 6 of his Secret Service detail.
::: MULTI-TASKER!!! :::

Dr. Doom went on to say that Shrub has no need, no need whaaaaatsoever  to apologize for not picking up on the globally evident signs of  the looming economic crisis leading to the New Great Depression … even though key business leaders and economists (… Nouriel Roubini anyone? anyone?) had been warning about them, pointing right at them and hanging neon signs directly over them for more than two ‘nuthin’ to see here, war war war, buy a Hummer, the fundamentals are strong’ years.

“I don’t think anybody saw it coming,” he said, bits of crestfallen taxpayer falling from his fangs.

Then he blah blah’d some caca about his  ‘retirement’ plans to write a book or some crapass crap and his desire kill fish in rivers all over the country, but the interview was called to a convulsively abrupt end when his batteries got wet from an unexpected splash of pig’s blood and fried all the circuits in his motherboard.

… I hate it when that happens …

SOURCE

January 9, 2009 at 9:23 pm 9 comments

A little lame duck with your Italian?


At the official, black-tie Columbus Day dinner at the White House, Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi got so carried away blowing hugs and kisses to our plodding prez that he destroyed the very podium from which he spoke.

Everyone just laughed and laughed because it’s funny when visiting dignitaries get drunk and make fools of themselves! What would have made it even better would have been if he’d set something on fire or groped Nancy Pelosi or somesuch, but hey – we can’t have everything, right?
::: Oh rich people — you DO amuse me! :::

“I’m 100 percent confident that we’ll be friends forever,” Berlusconi gushed to the Grand Poobah of the New Great Depression.
::: they are totally bff’s 4EVAR!!! :::

Then the buddies and their out of touch, filthy rich, fatcat politicians honored guests got down to business!

They feasted on Delicata Squash Soup with Citron, Maine Lobster Fondue, Artichoke and Reggiano Cheese Ravioli, Rosemary-crusted Elysian Farm Lamb, Crispy Eggplant and Swiss Chard, Chocolate Napoleon and washed it all down with $110-a-bottle Robert Mondavi Cabernet “Reserve” 2005, Iron Horse “Russian River Cuvée” 2003 and Ponzi Chardonnay “Reserve” 2005.

Over dessert, the hoity toities talked about those annoying collasping world markets that are putting pressure on their portfolios and passingly pondered the plight of the little people … all of which made it a ‘working dinner’ they’ll write off on their taxes next year.

Oh the sacrificed life of the public servant …

October 14, 2008 at 4:06 pm

Funny Flashback


*Thank you, dear friend in Wellington, for sending that in. it’s as true now as it was then.

GOOD TIMES!

September 3, 2008 at 8:19 pm

We have thoughts on policy, too …


Looks like Big Mac listened to the advice we doled out back in JuneAWESOME!
::: wish he’d take our advice about those Chiclets tho ..  :::

So, when do the nude corn wrestling tickets go on sale?

August 29, 2008 at 8:16 pm

Biden his time?


Well poo on toast! It wasn’t me — how did that happen?!?
ACK …

O’Beautiful chose the guy who kinda sorta insulted him some moons ago. Strange bedfellows indeed
::: soooooo should have been me as the bedfellow-ette tho … 😦 :::

Wait — didn’t he say …

“I am not running for vice president. I would not accept it if anyone offered it to me. The fact of the matter is I’d rather stay as chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee than be vice president.”

Yup, that was hot peepaw Joe Biden – during an interview with Fox (eww, I know) Television after dropping out of the 2008 Democratic Primaries.

Biden’s run for prez four times before with less luck than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
::: ouch :::

New Math: Obama + Biden = two senators with zero executive experience but want, Want, WANT!!!

THIS is gonna be fun 🙂

August 23, 2008 at 12:28 pm 1 comment

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