Posts tagged ‘weight’

PSA Alert!


Grossified goodness …

::: They’re right … just sayin’ … Stepping off my mini-soapbox now but this bitch should go national … just sayin’ :::

December 21, 2009 at 11:31 am 2 comments

Food for thought


We’re Number One!!
We’re Number One!!
We’re Num … wait. What?

Crap. Wrong kind of number one …
According to a weighty government survey, the South is (once again) the portliest part of the good ol’ US of A.

DANGIT SOUTHERN PEOPLE!!!!
Can we please be number one for something positive?!?
ACK!!!

Maybe I’m overreacting.
After all, the findings are pretty much the same as they were in each of the the three previous years this fat-finding mission was performed.
::: hooray for artery-clogging consistency?!? :::

Mississippi, the perpetual red-headed stepchild of America, has reigned as Queen Supreme Pudgie Pot every year since 2004. But the rest of the region got surprisingly supersized and now the competition is ON!

Alabama, Tennessee, West Virginia and Louisiana all embraced their inner backfat and have been bringin’ the chunk harder than ever!
Collectively, these four fatties have made so much peace with being obese that there’s almost nothing that sets them apart from Mississippi when it comes to the all important fat stat.
::: heavy thigh :::

Making up the ‘Top Ten Most Ginormous and Jiggliest States’ are:
1. Mississippi, now with 32.0% more lardass
2. Alabama, showing a sizeable 30.3 % bigger spare tire
::: You are my Heart of Dixie!! Just a little more bacon and you can be Number One, girlfriend!! :::
3. Tennessee, showing 30.1% heavier thunder thighs
4. Louisiana, packing 29.8% more junk in the trunk
5. West Virginia, with a whopping 29.5% bigger deep-fried backside
6. Arkansas, proudly packin’ on 28.7% more blubber butt
7. South Carolina, balancing picnic plates on 28.4% bigger buddha bellies
8. Georgia, cramming cookies into 28.2% chunkier cheeks
9. Oklahoma, outdoing itself with 28.1% more Oreo eating
10. Texas, bringing up a fabulously fattier rear with it’s 28.1% more flabtastic weigh-in

‘Experts’ think the traditional Southern diet — high in fat and fried food — may be partly to blame.

::: Oh yes! Finally – a CLUE!!! :::Another
 

 

Bacon Doughnut Egg Burger, Belva?

July 18, 2008 at 6:16 pm 5 comments

There’s no hope for the rest of us


Kate Beckinsale doesn't like her bodyAll hope was lost the moment Kate Beckinsale demanded a body double for her latest film. Apparently, she “loathes” her bottom.

Umm, yeah – that’s Kate in all her horrifically gigantic, lard-assness right there —————>

Disgusting, I know.

A  source on her new film Whiteout said: “Kate has a terrible self-image. She thinks she is fat and she is always complaining how certain outfits make her bottom look big. Of course, the reality is that she has the most amazing body.”

Tragically — she isn’t soliciting comments with those remarks. She’s actually seriously effed in the head.

How terrifically sad is it when an Oxford-educated, outrageously gorgeous, successful mother/wife/actress who reportedly suffered anorexia as a teenager is still battling retarded self-image demons?

If you’re the parent of a daughter … hug her today and make sure she knows she is the apple of your eye and perfect just the way she is (well, that  and make sure she stays far, far away from R. Kelly).

June 16, 2008 at 7:22 pm 3 comments


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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