Posts tagged ‘war’

WTF?


anfHaving raised steers for four years as part of my 4-H indoctrination education, I’m no stranger to the fair circuit — where beef judging is, was and always will be an artform.
For this reason (and this reason alone) I try to keep up — as best I can a full state removed — with the state of all fairs back home.

Knowing as I do that the next one coming up is the Alabama National Fair in Montgomery, I decided to check their website to see what joys lay in store for ticketholders.

Livestock competitions: CHECK
::: Black Baldies 4EVAR! :::
Art competitions: CHECK
::: Lynnelle’s needlepoint is always a hit :::
Giant vegetable competitions: CHECK
::: You just cannot go wrong with gourds :::
Pig races: CHECK
::: Actual pigs, not Chett’s ex-girlfriends :::
Circus: CHECK
::: Because ya just gotta :::
Welcome Home Celebration “in honor of our Vietnam Veterans“: CHEC …

Wait.
What?

Welcome Home?!?

Now, I do believe it’s never too late to welcome troops home and celebrate their courage and sacrifice. And, while I know history says the Vietnam War ended when the North Vietnamese army took control of Saigon in 1975 — I also know that not all of our soldiers have yet to come home more than 20 years later.

But I gotta say that with troops on active duty in skirmishes, wars, to-do’s and whatnots all over the world, most notably these days in the Middle East — it strikes me as 20-shades of ‘huh?’ that the fair gods of Alabama went the Vietnam route.

I have to believe it means one of three things:
1. The very last of all of the American soldiers still in Vietnam have been discovered to be alive and well … in Alabama
2. Sooooo many of the Alabama guardsmen and women are on permanent rotation in Afghanistan and Iraq that the Vietnam vets are the only ones around to welcome
3. The fair’s ‘creative team’ decided “Awwww fuckit! Better late than never!”

I know which one I think it is …

SOURCE

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September 25, 2009 at 10:33 am 2 comments

In case you didn’t know …


This is what history rewriting itself looks like:

Cheney this week: “No Iraq – 9/11 link”

Cheney 2002 – 2003: So believed there was an Iraq-9/11 link that he (and Rumsfeld) authorized the use of torture to extract evidence of an Iraq-Al Qaeda link from detainees

Cheney 2003: “Could be Iraq – 9/11 link”

Cheney 2004: “Clear link between Iraq and Al Qaeda”

… ok … maybe it’s just what shameless evil looks like.

 

History would do well to erase this motherfucker from it’s memory altogether.
If only it could …

June 3, 2009 at 10:24 am

Pass that doobie, Dick!


I don’t know what Dick Cheney is smoking but I WANTS ME SOME!!!

America’s evil overlord says no one saw saw the economic crisis coming and, oh yeah – nobody at the CIA has done anything wrong!

THAT IS SOME GOOD SHIT, Y’ALL!!!

Darth Cheney spun his fantastical web of lies to an Associated Press reporter who probably had to coerce the beastmaster sign some sort of legal document stating he promised not to – at any point during the interview – attempt to drain the blood from the reporter’s veins and drink it as an afternoon cocktail, quarter small children using chopsticks and piano wire or turn the reporter into a psycho robot killer with his demonic laser stare of doom.
::: LOOK AWAY!!!! :::

Once Ol’ Snarly scrawled his 666, the interview was on.
::: It’s the Fuzzy Logic History Hour with Uncle Dick – YAY!!! :::

He said there is no reason, no reason whaaaaatsoever for Dumbya to even give one little thought [like he’s capable of another kind] to pre-emptively pardoning anyone at the CIA because it’s just a giant ball of CRAZY to think anyone there would have been involved in any of those way harsh interrogationny tactics the rest of the world affectionately calls torture. Nuh uh! Nosireee!!!

“I don’t have any reason to believe that anybody in the agency did anything illegal,” he monotoned while playfully tasering Agent 6 of his Secret Service detail.
::: MULTI-TASKER!!! :::

Dr. Doom went on to say that Shrub has no need, no need whaaaaatsoever  to apologize for not picking up on the globally evident signs of  the looming economic crisis leading to the New Great Depression … even though key business leaders and economists (… Nouriel Roubini anyone? anyone?) had been warning about them, pointing right at them and hanging neon signs directly over them for more than two ‘nuthin’ to see here, war war war, buy a Hummer, the fundamentals are strong’ years.

“I don’t think anybody saw it coming,” he said, bits of crestfallen taxpayer falling from his fangs.

Then he blah blah’d some caca about his  ‘retirement’ plans to write a book or some crapass crap and his desire kill fish in rivers all over the country, but the interview was called to a convulsively abrupt end when his batteries got wet from an unexpected splash of pig’s blood and fried all the circuits in his motherboard.

… I hate it when that happens …

SOURCE

January 9, 2009 at 9:23 pm 9 comments

All the snooze …


Old and Busted: Journalists with actual degrees, experience and other nifty qualificationy journalismy type thingamabobs bringing you the worldwide 4-1-1.

New Hotness: Gettin’ the down-low from weblebrities, celebriwhores and other 15-minuters with absolutely no journalistic judgement, savvy, skill … or smarts!!

CHECKIT!!!

Joe the Plumber to become war correspondent
::: you just KNOW this is gonna be some funny ass shit!!! :::

joeplumberSamuel J. Wurzelbacher is heading to Israel as a war correspondent for douchesite pjtv.com.

Asscrack says he’ll spend 10 days covering the fighting because he wants to let Israel’s “‘Average Joes’ share their story.”
::: I’m sure he mean “Average
Jocheved’s” … :::

Because really – what good are devastatingly horrific international events if you can’t market that shit?!?

Keep it between the sniper fire, Joe!!

SOURCE

January 7, 2009 at 8:15 pm 7 comments

I have probs


The Sunday New York Times‘ lede story was about widespread protests after an American missile attack in Pakistan killed a pro-Al-Qaeda British militant — which is all serious and newsy and exactly what you expect from the venerable Gray Lady and so I settled into a deep chair, coffee at the ready, completely prepared for a squinty-eyed, pressed-lipped, totally contemplative read.

Then I saw the lede photo:
23rauf-600

And all I could think of after that was:

TOUCHDOWWWWNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

… ahh Sundays …

Photo: Muhammad Iqbal/Associated Press

November 24, 2008 at 11:35 am 1 comment

Better late than never, I suppose …


Only took 63 years or so but officials finally, officially, realized and recognized just what, exactly, the Tuskegee Airmen did for the United States. Well, in the pathetically late-to-the-party way Alabama lawmakers typically do … but I digress …

Good things DO come to those who wait … and wait … and wait.

Thousands of people from across the country attended the opening ceremony Friday afternoon at Moton Field in Tuskegee, Alabama.

The Tuskegee Airmen had their beginning here at Moton Field and dared to make a difference,” the Rev. William C. Lennard said. “They did it for God, for themselves and for every citizen of the United States of America. Their persistence, dedication and fortitude enabled them to overcome all manner of challenges.”

The airmen fought Adolf Hitler overseas and Jim Crow on American soil, being degraded as second-class citizens and watching as German prisoners of war were treated better than them.

Don’t look for snark here today, folks. This is a good, WAY longass overdue not-as-good-as-they-deserved-tribute to a class of people who completely outclassed everyone else in their day!

If you don’t know about the Tuskegee Airmen — shame on you.

October 11, 2008 at 11:29 pm 1 comment

The whole world in his hands


According to a new BBC-sponsored GlobeScan poll, the world has tasted what Barack is serving — and the world likes it!

“Large numbers of people around the world clearly like what Barack Obama represents,” said GlobeScan chairman Doug Miller.

Well duuuhhh! Of course they do!!
Every time my boyfriend opens his mouth – cute little puppies, butterflies and rainbows fly out! Who doesn’t like puppies, butterflies and rainbows?!?

Republicans – that’s who!
They like war and guns and the death penalty and crazy, naughty bathroom time and … well, they’ll just piss all over your cute little puppies, bite the wings off your butterflies and relegate your rainbows to those crazy, naughty bathroom times they don’t talk about.
::: tappy tap tap … :::

“… only one in five think a McCain presidency would improve on the Bush administration’s relations with the world,” Miller said of his poll’s results.

And my bleeding, commie, pinko heart totally gets that.

But the teeny skeptic I keep locked inside my deeply troubled mind thinks the world may want to go back to school for a little remedial Ass-Kissing 101. You know, just in case Big Mac and the Alaskan Hotness come out on top in November.

Imagine a world where the out-of-place, insecure, picked-on kids everyone hates win the class election and suddenly have oodles of power and cool, destructive toys at their disposal.

Yeah, that’ll  end well …

September 12, 2008 at 12:53 pm 1 comment

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