Posts tagged ‘voter’

Don’t be a bitch. Vote! Then bitch ;)


October 22, 2012 at 7:35 pm 1 comment

Party Girl


Did you know that a new poll shows 64% of Republicans say the Alaskan Hotness is their first choice to run for president in 2012?
::: IT DOES! THEY DO! :::
*** And, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that 100% of Democrats, Independents, Moon-Worshippers, Pixie-Dust Inhalers and other World Dwellers concur!  ***

Reading the poll results (nearly choking on my coffee) my first thought was President … of the PTA? … of the Adopt A Polar Bear Cub Club?!? … of the Hottie GILFs (population YOU, girl!)?!?!?

But NOOOO! They’re, like, of America and stuff!! And I’m all ‘HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh GOP, how you amuse me with your wacky party jokes!!’ … until it dawns on me that they’re frealz on this one and then I’m all ‘WHOA! They are serious as a Dick Cheney heart attack!’

FAAAAANNNN-TASTIC!!!!

palinwinkFor the record: I’m on board – GO FOR IT, GIRLEEN!!

Run baby, run!
Run like you’ve never run before.
Run until your little Alaskan muklucks fall off.
Run to towns big and small all across this great land of ours and religionate the peoples; ethify the base and spread your rogue maverickness to the masses!!!!

I’ll even donate because what surer guarantee can I have of my boyfriend locking in a second term by Christmas than the promise of an “I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can’t” Cam-PALIN-Palooza!

OOOHH YAH!
YOUBETCHA!!

November 10, 2008 at 2:43 pm 2 comments

Progressively … regressive?


Now how did this happen?

How does Florida put on her big-girl britches and grow up enough to elect my boyfriend as the 44th President of the United States yet vote to uphold a constitutional ban on same-sex marriages?

What the eff?
I thought we were on the same progressive-everyone-is-equal page here, folks.

So we’re blue — but it’s really more of a cornflower hoping to mature into a full-on navy at some point? Is that it?

::: *sigh* … baby steps … ::: 

November 5, 2008 at 11:13 am 17 comments

Ya think?


If red states can go blue — is America also ready to equalize marriage — or to send Al Franken to the Senate?!?

Dare to dream?

Just askin’ …

November 5, 2008 at 3:11 am

America — this is you?


Open forum commenting, oh how you scare me!
::: and yet, I’m drawn to you like a moth to a flame … like Southerners to sweet tea … like priests to little boys … :::

In the official news void that IS election day up to, oh, say anywhere between 6 and 8 o’clock p.m. Eastern Time – websites everywhere are trolling for user-generated content to fill their ‘election day coverage’.
::: NEATO! :::

“Voter Experience and Random Thoughtification” anyone?

Lets!

“John McCain’ at Tampabay.com writes:
Waited in line for well over 2 hours only to find out I was at the drivers license office. DOH!! Then drove arounf for 3 hours with my left blinker on and found my polling place. Yeah, I blank out sometimes, but it’s okay, I can’t be any worse than what’s in office now, right?
:::: hehe – sorry but that shit is funny! :::

“Al T” of Deerfield Beach, Florida writes:
The only reason this is considered “historic” is he thinks Hussein is going to win.
The NLP implication is there.
::: Oooo – Strageterie! yeah yeah — confuse them with your counter-logicisciousness!! :::

bhamman1967 in Birmingham, Alabama comments:
We do not need a Muslim in the White House
::: Well then I guess it’s just damned good luck there’s not one on yer redneck, racist ballot there fella! :::

takion1 – ranting and raving all KINDS of throughout the unmoderated boards of Elk River, Idaho’s topix.net:
If you allow Socialism to take root, it will grow to rule all aspects of your life.
Socialism is the beginning of tyranny that will suffocate freedoms for Americans.
NOBODY RIDES FOR FREE, although there are some exceptions to the rule!
NOBAMA!
::: takion1 needs to pop a pill and go sleepy-bye-bye-time :::

Are we having fun yet?

… stay tuned …

November 4, 2008 at 9:53 pm

Mock the vote


Sometimes I think my neighbors believe our electoral process is being watched by a little thing I like to call THE ENTIRE WORLD.
::: Sometimes I also think my neighbors have broccoli hair and are filled with pudding instead of lungs and connective tissue and stuff, but that’s another story … :::

Maybe it is, but if there’s one thing you can say about America it’s that we don’t care about the rest of the world. We ARE the world …
::: wait, we’re not?!? :::

And so, with barely five weeks to go and soooooo many issues in dire need of address (economy, war, economy, energy, economy, terror, economy, drugs, economy …) my neighbors actually think we ought to be knee-deep in thought-provoking discussions and debates on those issues.
::: HAHAHAHAHA — like THAT would ever happen! They’re so cute … :::

I bet they’d just love to sit their puddin’ butts down and listen to O’Baby and His Maverick Beefiness talk about boring things like fixing the economy or reducing our dependence of foreign oil or doing something in the Middle East or putting a chicken in every pot or some other bullshit – but where’s the fun in that, broccoli head!?!

Nowhere – that’s where! Besides, who has the time?

Between terrorist fist jabs and spinning words into chains of gold that rain down from the heavens as sunshiny rays of hopification for the massses – exaclty when would my boyfriend have a free moment for your precious ‘issues’?!?

And Big Mac and The Alaskan Hotness? The May-December Mavericks are the only patriots left in the whole country!! They can’t take time out from saving us from ourselves to pay attention to your crybaby political desires!

If you want to hear a bunch of blah blah about ‘issues’ and junk, I suggest you join the Comedy Central Party — the loudmouthed retarded bastard child of the American political process and the only  place you can get your fill of all the crap the other candidates won’t touch.

CC Party nominees Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart won’t lie to you. Why would they? They don’t even know you! It doesn’t matter to them who you vote for.
Oh hell, for all they care – you can take your vote and shove it!
And, because they don’t care, you know you can trust them. See?
::: Ficticious comedianidates you can believe in! :::

YAY!!!!!
Noooo – I’m just kidding, broccolihead.
::: But not about Colbert and Stewart not caring about you.
They don’t.
Really. :::

I’m kidding about that whole political party thing.
::: kinda like the real candidates! :::
There are no comedianidates running for office.
::: I know, it’s hard to accept … be strong! :::

Sad to say, but the upcoming issue of Entertainment Weekly is probably closest that pair will ever get to the Oval Office.

On the cover, they’re either totally making fun of the moronic, retarded asshatedness that followed the controversial New Yorker Obama cover art back in July … OR … they’re making fun of making fun of the moronic, retarded asshatedness that followed the controversial New Yorker Obama cover art back in July … ORRRR … they really are militant terrorists out to get you!!!! 

HAHAHAHAHA – just kidding, West Virginians!!

Seriously guys, put your guns away!
It’s a spoof, you know? A parody? Made up stuff that’s supposed to be funny????

… mountain people …

September 26, 2008 at 2:54 pm 2 comments

Workin’ The Poll


Americans have spoken … again.
::: crystal ball time, woo hooo!!!! :::

Barry may have won the big barbecue contest but people with pets prefer their Maverick Beef!

Yep – another idiotic AP-Yahoo News poll found that pet owners favor John McCain over Barack Obama 42 percent to 37 percent, with dog owners particularly in McCain’s corner.
::: Can’t win ’em  all, Barry!! :::

“From an image standpoint, nothing humanizes a candidate more than seeing him lovingly dote on his pet or toss a ball around on the White House lawn,” says American Kennel Club spokeswoman Lisa Peterson.
::: Well of course!!! I know I TOTALLY forget about that little ‘economy’ thing and that silly ‘war’ thing when I see Barney and Shrub cruisin’ the White House lawn together :::

So an attaboy goes to Big Mac in ‘Bid for the White House: Pet Edition’.
Geez has a mess of ‘mules back on the prop — including dogs, turtles, a cat, birds and some fish.
::: I don’t think their pets. He and Noah were in the same class — I think he’s just getting ready … :::

O’Beautiful, on the other hand, has no pets.
::: Mmmm-hmmmm. Exactly what one would expect from a known terrorist fist jabber!!! :::

 “I think a person who owns a pet is a more compassionate person — caring, giving, trustworthy. I like pet owners,” said Massachusetts resident Janet Taylor.
::: Janet’s a shoo-in for re-election as President of the Michael Vick Fan Club!! :::

What’s next?
The ‘Americans who know their exact tire pressure” poll?!?

July 9, 2008 at 3:36 pm 1 comment

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