Posts tagged ‘vice president’

In case you didn’t know …


This is what history rewriting itself looks like:

Cheney this week: “No Iraq – 9/11 link”

Cheney 2002 – 2003: So believed there was an Iraq-9/11 link that he (and Rumsfeld) authorized the use of torture to extract evidence of an Iraq-Al Qaeda link from detainees

Cheney 2003: “Could be Iraq – 9/11 link”

Cheney 2004: “Clear link between Iraq and Al Qaeda”

… ok … maybe it’s just what shameless evil looks like.

 

History would do well to erase this motherfucker from it’s memory altogether.
If only it could …

June 3, 2009 at 10:24 am

Pass that doobie, Dick!


I don’t know what Dick Cheney is smoking but I WANTS ME SOME!!!

America’s evil overlord says no one saw saw the economic crisis coming and, oh yeah – nobody at the CIA has done anything wrong!

THAT IS SOME GOOD SHIT, Y’ALL!!!

Darth Cheney spun his fantastical web of lies to an Associated Press reporter who probably had to coerce the beastmaster sign some sort of legal document stating he promised not to – at any point during the interview – attempt to drain the blood from the reporter’s veins and drink it as an afternoon cocktail, quarter small children using chopsticks and piano wire or turn the reporter into a psycho robot killer with his demonic laser stare of doom.
::: LOOK AWAY!!!! :::

Once Ol’ Snarly scrawled his 666, the interview was on.
::: It’s the Fuzzy Logic History Hour with Uncle Dick – YAY!!! :::

He said there is no reason, no reason whaaaaatsoever for Dumbya to even give one little thought [like he’s capable of another kind] to pre-emptively pardoning anyone at the CIA because it’s just a giant ball of CRAZY to think anyone there would have been involved in any of those way harsh interrogationny tactics the rest of the world affectionately calls torture. Nuh uh! Nosireee!!!

“I don’t have any reason to believe that anybody in the agency did anything illegal,” he monotoned while playfully tasering Agent 6 of his Secret Service detail.
::: MULTI-TASKER!!! :::

Dr. Doom went on to say that Shrub has no need, no need whaaaaatsoever  to apologize for not picking up on the globally evident signs of  the looming economic crisis leading to the New Great Depression … even though key business leaders and economists (… Nouriel Roubini anyone? anyone?) had been warning about them, pointing right at them and hanging neon signs directly over them for more than two ‘nuthin’ to see here, war war war, buy a Hummer, the fundamentals are strong’ years.

“I don’t think anybody saw it coming,” he said, bits of crestfallen taxpayer falling from his fangs.

Then he blah blah’d some caca about his  ‘retirement’ plans to write a book or some crapass crap and his desire kill fish in rivers all over the country, but the interview was called to a convulsively abrupt end when his batteries got wet from an unexpected splash of pig’s blood and fried all the circuits in his motherboard.

… I hate it when that happens …

SOURCE

January 9, 2009 at 9:23 pm 9 comments

Sarah Palin is Vice-President of loungechairs!


large-msg-122671383782large-msg-122669372725Disappointed she couldn’t see Cuba from her Miami hotel balcony, the Alaskan Hotness took time out from her hectic schedule of birthin’ babies, buying couture, being all mavericky and showing up basically everyone else who attended last week’s Republican Governor’s Association meeting to get her tan on … oh, and plot the Palin World Domination 2012 tour.

Don’t be fooled by the lack of hair product! Her Supreme Snowyness is totally clocked-in, solutionizing all the complicatedly complex problematic stuff facing the fine folks of the great energy producing state of Alaska.
::: big red dog, Big Red Dog — keep an eye on that BIG RED DOG!!! :::

I bet there’s all kinds of hush-hush, top-secrety type stuff in what appears to be a $1,500 Balenciaga ‘Weekender’ handbag oh so casually thrown to the end of the chaise.

spchampMmm hmmmm … yuppers. Totally  worki .. uh … wha … is that … champagne??

… ACK! … feel dizzy … mouth dry … light heade … uhh what’s happeni …

Oooooooooo I think I need a gravity check. I am suddenly feeling all … tingly for this woman!

I mean, except for the whole no-coherent-thought-wannabe-world-leader-darn-tootin’-hockey-mom-pay-no-attention-to-the-man-behind-the-curtain-I-may-look-purty-but-am-really-really-REALLY-stupid thingamabobanstuff – we are soooo much alike!

She understands the benefits of ditching work to lay out.
::: sooooo important! :::
She sees value in ridiculously overpriced accessories billed to Mr. Notmybankaccount.
::: CRUCIAL! :::
And she has a firm grasp on what is the absolute quickest way to my pinko commie liberal bleeding heart … BOOZE!!!
::: we are one :::

*sniff — I totally  her right now!

SOURCE

November 18, 2008 at 5:02 pm 1 comment

Dangerous Territory


C’mon Big Mac! I’ve made no secret that I’m ALL for you and The Alaskan Hotness sexing up the campaign — but let’s be careful here!

Everyone knows that when Republicans [Mark Foley] and topless young boys [Mark Foley] get together it rarely ends well [Mark Foley]

Ever notice how MAVERICK and MANSDICK have the same number of letters?
::: hehe … yes, I am three :::

PHOTO

October 22, 2008 at 7:59 pm

Is Palin the real candidate for change?


Her supreme sexiness – hot GILF Veep Nom Sarah Palin — is barely on the world radar for two seconds and already she’s Caribou-poo-deep in scandal!
::: YAY sweet, delicious scandal – I knew this bitch would deliver!! :::

Oh sure, there’s an investigation into whether she abused the power of her office to have her ex-brother-in-law fired and that’s all interesting and blah blah blah – but to find out about that mess means you have to, like, actually read  a buncha wordy stuff — and well, can we be frank?
When was the last time you talked to a voter who’d actually READ anythng about the candidates?
::: don’t tell me a country who approved eight years of this is a nation of readers :::

Nope, the scandal we’re talking about is one that all of The Land of Maury can proudly get behind:
Palin Preggergate

Girlfriend’s 17-year-old daughter, Bristol, is all kinds of knocked up.
The Dems are eating it up like a free buffet at Denny’s while the Retardspublicans are all like ‘See!! She’s totally having this unplanned, irresponsible, out-of-wedlock, bastard child — Family Values, Beeyatches!”

Haha on YOU, America!!

You were waiting for my boyfriend’s sexual scandal to surface, never thinking for one moment that kiddie sex would take center stage.
Besides, O’Beautiful is WAY too smart to get caught do anything like that!

The kicker is that we really should have known this would happen. It’s a receipe that never fails!

Princess Palin’s grown up under the pistol-packin’ pro-life thumb of a multi-child master breeder, for chrissakes! I’m actually surprised it took her 17 years to find  ‘the family way’!
::: if certain folks are correct, we may find out it only took her, like, 16 or so … :::

– You take one part abstinence
– Two B cups teenage lust
– Introduce one hot, hockey hunka hunka Levi Johnston sausage link
– Add generous amounts of “f***in’ redneck who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes” ‘tude
– Stir in equal parts sexual frustration, innuendo and pubescent stupidity
– Mix together in wilderness-enclosed tenting
– Sprinkle with Trig and vague engagement rumors (for palatability)
– Transfer to political fishbowl and let stand

At least Palin can now legitimately say SHE is the candidate for change.

Changing diapers.

September 2, 2008 at 6:03 pm

We have thoughts on policy, too …


Looks like Big Mac listened to the advice we doled out back in JuneAWESOME!
::: wish he’d take our advice about those Chiclets tho ..  :::

So, when do the nude corn wrestling tickets go on sale?

August 29, 2008 at 8:16 pm

Biden his time?


Well poo on toast! It wasn’t me — how did that happen?!?
ACK …

O’Beautiful chose the guy who kinda sorta insulted him some moons ago. Strange bedfellows indeed
::: soooooo should have been me as the bedfellow-ette tho … 😦 :::

Wait — didn’t he say …

“I am not running for vice president. I would not accept it if anyone offered it to me. The fact of the matter is I’d rather stay as chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee than be vice president.”

Yup, that was hot peepaw Joe Biden – during an interview with Fox (eww, I know) Television after dropping out of the 2008 Democratic Primaries.

Biden’s run for prez four times before with less luck than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
::: ouch :::

New Math: Obama + Biden = two senators with zero executive experience but want, Want, WANT!!!

THIS is gonna be fun 🙂

August 23, 2008 at 12:28 pm 1 comment

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