Posts tagged ‘vajayjay’

Ad … Nauseum?


No, this is not me making a mad dash for my secret hiding place when the po po unexpected company has arrived.
::: I mean really. The couch? OBVIOUS! :::

This is not me looking for that ‘little extra’ I sometimes need but have to hide strategically protectionize locationally.
::: Like I’d leave it where your chirrenz could steal it?!? Never! :::

This is not me putting a fresh coat of tummy gargle on the living-room Pergo.
::: Well, actually it could be. But it’s not. THIS time. :::

This is an advertisement.

A wide shot of some bitch’s admittedly hot ass is the cerebral creation I have to believe a bunch of dumb Madison Avenue morons conveived at the conclusion of a long afternoon spent high on Hawaiian salt, trying to relive those long-long gone high school glory days when all it took was a not-exactly-creative ‘nice ass’ and a driver’s licenes to get you nine-kinds of in the door.

‘Cept the ad isn’t edgy or creative or even fun.
It’s pathetic.

Because it’s too easy.

I mean, who doesn’t know that the seat of all power, the center of known universe, the source of all natural wealth, health and happiness – as well as everything in reverse to the extreme times a gozillion – is and forever will be the Great Garden of Lady Goodness that makes the world go ’round?!?

Frealz.
We run this shit.

Which means this had to be the brainchildfart of actual grown-up type-human most-likely-male-type chromosome-carriers.
Old-type ones.

Because that kind of generic ‘nice ass’ coming from a bunch of 50-60-ish adver-guys in ties gawking at the Hooter’s waitstaff while trying to evolve an idea has the same pathetic ring as ‘I live with my mom’ from a 30-ish trick trying to pick me you up at Applebee’s.

Just sayin’.
Can’t you do better?!

Guess not.

Because the Maddy’s testosterone mind meld apparently had them feeling enough ‘Captain’s of Concept’ that they were able to convince their poor schmuck of a client to buy the back covers of aawlll the supermarket ‘oids to showcase their duhhhh moment for all the world to witness.

Because I guess they don’t realize that this is a SHEconomy where 85% of all brand purchases are made by … WOMEN!
In case you didn’t know, this includes homes, cars, health care, food and medicines.
Hmmmmm, is this ass ad trying to sell us one of those???

Because I guess they also don’t realize that 91% of the value validating vajayjays out there feel advertisers *SHOCK* don’t understand them.

Because they really think the chuff is gonna help sell …


October 16, 2011 at 7:46 pm 1 comment

Is there nothing it can’t do?!?


Surgeons remove healthy kidney through donor’s vagina

Yup – you read that right.

“In what is being heralded as a “first-ever procedure,” surgeons removed a healthy kidney through a donor’s vagina, the Johns Hopkins Medical Center has announced.”

Through.
A.
VAGINA!!!

This is awesomeness on an Everest scale!

As I have steadfastly maintained in cars, bars, NASCAR infields and HR mediation rooms for years — a woman’s hooha is the source of unspeakable power and, as this news proves, it is just 12 kinds of fucking futile to disagree!!
::: Bow down and RECONIZE!!! :::

I mean, ok, we all know it’s good for birthin’ shit.
And heaven’s knows the peen is always welcome.
kidneyJoy Toys, personal parts, certain types of produce and the occasional ‘mystery object’ have all been known to make a guest appearance every now and again … but who in a gozillion years would have thought the world’s original playstation capable of surgical assist during an organ transplant?!?
::: Go on witcha bad self!! :::

And, just in case you were wondering — a healthy kidney is about 4-5 inches long and 2-3 inches wide — a little on the small side for something exiting that area if you ask me … but WHATEVER!!!

Vaginas are saving lives, people!

Be nice to the one nearest you!

SOURCE

February 4, 2009 at 2:12 pm 8 comments


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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