Posts tagged ‘thought’

Gather ‘Round The Disco Bald


Jim Eastabrook is SO giving Philip Levine the side-eye!

While it’s true and I can’t deny that nobody rocks a rug like Jim Eastabrook – it’s got to be said that across this whole and entire planet there is NOBODY who bedazzles his baldness like Philip Levine!

“I thought why not use it as a canvas, paint and attach things to my head using the border of where my hair would be,” he said.

GLORIOUSLY GLABROUS!!!

Just look at those coiffureless creations!

For four years, the 28-year-old London-based cultural attaché, club promoter and all-around trend-setter, has been using his “lengthening forehead” as a canvas.
With the assistance and artistic expertise of body painter Kat Sinclair, Levine’s creative cranium has become something of an underground phenomenon in the clubs of London.

But his head became truly H-O-T when it got called up from the minors and landed in the mainstream of English art-and-design discussion the day Levine debuted his “crystal” head.

OOOOOOoooooo

“Using hundreds of thumbtack-sized Swarovski crystals, Levine has created a swooping, shimmery, rockabilly mane. It’s apparently magic in the sunlight. It’s also pleasantly transitory – the crystals begin to fall off after a day’s wear,” a reporter recently wrote.

AAAAaahhhhhh

On average the designs take two hours to create, but some of the more elaborate have taken up to five hours and are therefore reserved for parties.

Damn! I knew there was something I forgot to bring to the b’day fest this weekend!

SOURCE

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April 12, 2010 at 10:14 am 1 comment

Kill Bill (he did)


On Friday, Sen. Jim Bunning, (R-eckless) of Kentucky was the lone nay vote on a measure that would have extended cash and health insurance benefits for the unemployed … the lone nay vote that basically killed the measure.

So, thanks to Bunning, starting today, the jobless can no longer apply for federal unemployment benefits or the COBRA health insurance subsidy.

Way to go you absolute piece of SHIT!

Sen. Jeff Merkley, (D-etermined) of Oregon, quite literally begged Bunghole to change his stance.

Bunning’s response?
“Tough shit.”

Sen. Barbara Boxer, (D-edicated) of California, sent Barfbag a letter asking him to “stand down immediately”, explaining what the rest of us with brains, morals, ethics, a conscience and that little thing I like to call a HEART already know … “Unemployment insurance is a lifeline to the long-term unemployed whose families have been hit very hard by this recession”.

Bunning’s response?
“If we can’t find $10 billion somewhere for a bill that everybody in this body supports, we will never pay for anything,” he said, apparently completely fucking forgetting the $704 BILLION spent so far on the Iraq war – without everybody’s support.

As the fight debate drew to a close, Bunning complained he had been ambushed by the Democrats and was forced to miss the Kentucky-South Carolina basketball game.

Boo fucking hoo.
Tell it to the people getting downsized this week, fucker.

‘Lected yerselves a good ‘un, there, Kentucky!

Bunning’s baseness will affect a couple hundred THOUSAND of the nearly 5.4 million unemployed Americans currently receiving benefits. And, if Congress doesn’t act soon, that number will grow to 400,000 during the first two weeks of March and nearly 3 MILLION by May, according to the Labor Department.

You may want to ask yourself a couple of questions, kids:
How secure is YOUR job?
How secure is YOUR insurance?
::: Yes my precious snowflakes — the two ARE connected! :::

Unemployed Americans can receive up to 99 weeks of unemployment benefits – nearly two years – which is a record. The last time unemployment was this high, in the early ’80s, the maximum was 55 weeks. That said, in terms of overall economic activity, this downturn looks like it will be the most severe since the Depression.

Which further underscores why Bunning’s actions are a complete and total outrage.

But hey, it’s also an outrage that everyone else in the known universe isn’t raising holy fucking HELL over the actions of a senile old cocksucker who is allowed to singlefuckinghandedly cut off unemployment benefits in the middle of a Fucking RECESSION, all the while bitching about $10 billion … after his dick was one of the ones pissing away a trillionbilliongozillion fucking dollars on the war in Iraq … a war waged even though NO ONE ever had visual confirmation of weapons of mass destruction!!!

ACK!!!

Along with extending unemployment payments to laid-off workers and providing them with subsidies to help pay health premiums through the COBRA program, the bill also would have helped prevent looming (21 percent) cuts in Medicare reimbursements to doctors.

Would have.

C’mon Congress — time for action. You’ve come through before and you can do it again … maybe this time with dickweed’s vote?
Call him … explain things … demand it!
I did 😉
202-224-4343

March 1, 2010 at 11:14 am 8 comments

Tim Taylor is not surprised


From Consumerist

“The publisher of a series of home improvement books has announced a recall of nine of them, because of errors in their instructions on installing or repairing electrical wiring.

“The Consumer Products Safety Commission says no injuries have been reported so far even though the books have been published since 1975 …”

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
1975!!!

Now, I’m no supersleuth or anything, but I do believe that’s what you might call definitive proof that nobody has ever attempted any project from any home improvement book.

SOURCE
PHOTO

January 11, 2010 at 11:16 am 1 comment

Happy Fourth, Bitches!


Yeah, it’s a day [and a half, give or take] early but this ho’s gotta get her happr4thbitcheslong-weekend bender a’brewin’ so I do not have time to dwell on the demise of Jeff Goldblum as reported by Jeff Goldblum or any of the other not-dead celebs not out there being dead or dying and stuff.

No time for that shit, ‘kay?

I gotsta get my drink on – and you do, too – it’s, like, the law!

So crack it, pour it, mix it and raise it high for a Happy Adoption of the Declaration of Independence Day!

Let’s party like it’s 1776 …

July 2, 2009 at 8:38 pm 2 comments

What a pain!



TWO THREE DAY MIGRAINE
TWO THREE DAY MIGRAINE
TWO THREE DAY MIGRAINE

*and there wasn’t even any booze involved, DAMNIT!*

April 30, 2009 at 9:58 pm

Something’s missing


Joe the Plumber’s on board and so is Joe Six Pack.
Heck, even the grand-poobah of political peepaws himself – Joe Biden – is accounted for.
Yet scant days before the most important election in the entire history of all historical electionations ever to have taken place among the esteemed electorate inhabiting all corners of the Milky Way – we seem to have misplaced a Joe!

Where is the crucial Blow endorsement?!?

Don’t the candidates know true, real Americans only care about a health care plan that includes a wide (I SAID WIDE, BITCHES!) array of drug benefits?!?
::: sorry, the morning Prozac hasn’t kicked in yet :::

America isn’t a melting pot as much as it is a medicine cabinet. You can pop a pill for anything that ails ya!

Want to lose weight? Can’t get it up? Blood pressure too high? Thinning hair? Stressed out? Allergies? Common cold? Muscle aches? Stubbed toe? Hangnail?
Take a pill! It’s the American way!

Drugs are a part of everything that is truly American and, therefore, should be embraced as a key pivotal political issue.

Baseball: Steroids
Apple Pie: Preservatives
Mom: Lasix

Whether you’re a craggy AARP Q-Tip workin’ a Plavix fix or a common crack whore searchin’ for some half track – YOU, Mrs. America, have needs no employer-backed plan can possibly cover.

Oh sure, this is a nation of Nickelonians who will nod politely at the ‘You Betchas’ and give nudges of approval to notions of hopification and audaciousness. But make no mistake — it’s also a nation who wants to see their Joe, their ‘everyman’, courted by one of the campaigns too!

When will we hear Big Mac talk about the importance of scoring some bargain-basement Botox for his bride?
::: no stranger to chemical intervention she :::
Where does my boyfriend stand on the critical role the average clucker plays?
::: ‘cuz people pull some crazy ass shit over the rising cost of crank! :::

With granny’s medications costing more than her mortgage, and Vita-G costing a real one – there simply is no bigger pocketbook issue than this one!

The ‘war’ is over — tick tock, fellas!

October 29, 2008 at 4:46 pm

The WRONG Way To Get Some Head


WTF?!?Two jackoffs and a juvy in Texas stand accused of digging up a dead guy, decapitating his body and using his grubworm-eaten head to smoke a little doobie — and I’m totally not kidding or flippin’ kitties when I write that.

The Houston Chronicle has the story today of Darwin Award Winners Matthew Gonzalez and Kevin Jones, who have been charged with the misdemeanor offense of abuse of a corpse (misdemeanor?!?).

Police say Gonzalez, Jones and an unnamed underaged dweeb:
1.) Made their way to a local graveyard
2.) Unearthed a man
3.) Made off with his head
4.) Turned said head into a bong

::: Cheech is speechless :::

 

May 8, 2008 at 8:50 pm 4 comments



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