Posts tagged ‘thespian’

Oh Please, Oh Please, Oh Pleeeeeeeease?????



Dear Academy Awards,
Please let Mickey Rourke win tonight’s Oscar for Best Actor in a Leading Role.

I know his nomination for The Wrestler was because it was, you know, ‘good’ and ‘awesome’ and a showcase of superlative adjective-type words, not to mention a bunch of other blah blah about method acting and crap like that — but that’s not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking Mickey. The mangled hunk of mysteryflesh that makes me feel like a superachiever just for waking up each morning.

I love to watch Mr. Potatoface puff his ciggies while telling everyone to fuck off or go screw themselves (but not Courtney Love) and then laugh so hard that his one natural follicle shakes when memories he thought the booze and coke had erased somehow float magically to the surface of his mind.

That shit is funny, dudes!!!

Mickey is like a one-man amusement park for my mind.
I need him, and I am being 100% totally for real here when I say — so do you.

You have to know that Mickey and Heath Ledger are the only reasons anyone will be watching your crapass show tonight – and only one of them can give a speech!

So do the right thing, guys, and remember – Loki is watching.

Smooches!
Cookie

February 22, 2009 at 7:55 pm 3 comments

You see it


Nicolas Cage and his son Weston Coppola Cage leaving Madeo restaurant in Los Angeles over the weekend.
Weston’s Kayako Halloween costume is, err, dead on, no?
Wait. What? That’s not a costume?!?

SOURCE

October 27, 2008 at 11:46 am

Mariah Carey is an optimist


No, scratch that …
Mariah Carey is the most optimistic of all optimists ever to optimize optimism in any form. Ever.

How else can you explain that – despite actual laws being passed banning the bitch from movie theaters worldwide (unless she was holding a ticket) following the epically disastrous 2001 debut of Glitterhere she is — putting the fatal final touches on a new  movie?!?
::: oh no!  :::

Oh yes!

Just in time for the holidays comes Tennessee — a road-trip drama in which Carey plays (what else?) an aspiring singer!!!
::: that’s right girl — dig deep, challenge yourself – GROW! :::

Carey plays ‘Krystal’, a dumb whore who has high hopes to make it BIG in music – but is afraid she may have to settle for diddly squat because she is a dumb whore trapped in (what else?) a bad marriage.

This one’s gonna work!

And why not — It’s just soooo completely and totally different from Glitter – where she played (what else?) an aspiring singer who’s bullshit dreams are in danger of going *poof* because of (what else?)  the evil and controlling ways of a man!

Yup, totally  different!

“Woe is me?” What the hell is that?
exactly …

September 19, 2008 at 8:16 pm 1 comment

Breakin’ up is hard to do


I am actually sort of feeling sorry for poor little Justin Long today!
No, not because he looks like that ————————->
:::  although the buttfugly shoes should get a sympathy vote :::

Mr. I’m-More-Than-The-Mac-Guy is apparently so upset over being dumped by Drew Barrymore that he had to drop out of her new roller-derby movie, Whip It!

“He couldn’t stand working with her and not being with her,” a friend of his says. “He’s too upset … She was hot and cold. One minute she was in love with him and the next she wanted to break up with him.”

I feel for the guy, I really do!
He’s more emotionally fragile than a preteen girl — he might not make it y’all!

The little fella’s been described in various media reports as being ‘distraught’, ‘devastated’, ‘destroyed’, ‘depressed’ and a whole bunch of other words that don’t start with the letter D.

(so)Long and Dontwannaseeyanomore had been friends for more than 7 years before gettin’ their PDA on pretty much anywhere and everywhere there was a camera handy. And then *poof* – seemingly just like that (snap) it was over when she decided to recast the role of ‘Drew’s boyfriend’.

No one’s really talking about the breakup, but rumor has it she is still tuned in to the FM frequency.

“Drew just couldn”t get (Strokes drummer) Fabrizio (Moretti) out of her mind. She says Justin was great, but what she had with him just wasn”t as strong,” the source said.

It’s believed (apparently by the same unnamed source) that Drew told Fab about her feelings, which got him feeling deeeeeeelighted at the prospect of knockin’ boots with Barrymore again.

Justin, I think yer F’d, dude.

July 25, 2008 at 7:11 pm


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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