Posts tagged ‘team’


A week ago, Covenant Academy’s girl’s basketball team put an embarassing 100-0 bully beatdown on hapless Dallas Academy. 
Despite the score, the Dallas coach said the game was win for his girls ‘because they never gave up’.
Awwwwsome, dude!

And that should have been that!

But then the media began getting reports of unsportsmanlike conduct on Covenant’s part, which forced school administrators to publicly condemn such behavior on their school’s website.

And that really should have been that!

But then their giant meatbag of a coach -who apparently didn’t see things the same way and just couldn’t find the discipline [imagine that] to keep his yap shut – emailed the local rag a bunch of blah blah about how running up the score on a team who hasn’t won a game in four seasons is, like, way honorable and exemplifies totally quality sportsmanship and shit.

So Covenant got all firey on his ass.

And that really Really should have been that!

But now the basketball biatches from Covenant are making a bid to get their 15 minutes extended by announcing that they’re ‘trying to do the right thing’ [a week after the fact] by asking for a forfeit and gettin’ their public ‘woops – our bad’ on over their truly inexcusable margin of victory.


What’s it gonna take?

Just go on The View and hug it out already – and then pinky swear that this is the absolute LAST we have to hear about it for, like, EVER!!!

Pretty pretty please with sweet sweet sugar and a nice plump cherry on top?!?!?

January 28, 2009 at 10:31 pm 2 comments

Thanks for the concern and no, I don’t have a kid named *^!&#!!

yay1I am a great neighbor.

I will feed the dog when you’re out of town.
I will help you shutter should a hurricane come calling.
I will babysit the brats when you want your private sexy time.
And, of course, I will always have your back when the liquor runs low.

Yup – I am a GREAT neighbor … as long as you can deal with my Seasonal Weekend Tourette’s, that is.

Seasona … what?

Seasonal Weekend Tourette’s: An inherited disorder of the nervous system, characterized by an insatiable hunger for extra yardage, stiff arms and double coverage with occasional and unexplained movements (wall kicks, phone slams, fist pumps) and noises (what thuh?? You Gotta Be KIDDING Me! MUTHAH-FUKKKKKKUHHHHH!!!!!!!).

It’s ok – it runs in the family.
My dad has it, his dad had it, two uncles on my mother’s side have it and I’m pretty sure I’ve seen signs of it in my young nephew.
Lately I’ve been having some pretty nasty flareups which, apparently, haven’t gone unnoticed.

“Is everything ok?” the dudette next door probed as I edged my driveway this weekend.

“Yeah, sure. Why?”

“Just been hearing a lot of yelling is all ” she trailed off, nervously fingering her wedding ring.

Well, we have had kinda coolish weather lately (for Florida) so the hubster and I opened all the windows …

I bet dudette misunderstood the “WOOT WOOT! YEAAHHH BABY — get it, Git It, GIT IT!!!!” that rang out from my house Thursday night when Cutler brought home the bacon for the Broncos.

I bet that’s it. But that’s not so bad! Pffshhh — big deal.
Ummm hmmmm …..

Mmmmmmm …… uuuhhhhhh …..

booThen agaiiinnnnn – now that I think about it … she may have meant the “WHAT in the name of holy fuckTARDENESS are you doing?!? JACKASS! DUMBSHIT!!!” that’s kiiind of, sort of, possibly, in a roundabout way been screamed, shouted and screeched from various rooms in the rez since midway through October.

Well! That’s when Romo went down! And T.O. has been a big ol’ useless bag o’ balls ever since!!

I can’t help it! I am powerless against my condition!
It’s not my fault!!!!

Trust me — you simply cannot stop the cacophony of cussing that must be spewed forth when something like that happens.
You can’t.
Don’t do it.
Don’t even try!
Seriously — you could rupture something.

So – I mean – I’m, like, all sorry to upset you and everything Mrs. Annoyed Neighbor Crybaby Whineyhead, but I suffer from SWT (aggravated by poor Fantasy Football performance) and there’s no cure ’till February.
::: … the first step is admitting you have a problem, right? … :::

Can I still come to the holiday block party?

November 12, 2008 at 4:46 pm 5 comments

Thursday Theatrics – Giuliani Style!

Rudy “9-11” Giuliani’s 22-year-old douchebag son has filed a 198-page lawsuit against Duke University for cutting him from the school’s golf team.
::: I OBJECT! :::

Andrew Giuliani says Duke is in ‘breach of contract’ by cutting him because he was ‘recruited’ by the previous golf staff.

WOW! Recruited! He must be GOOD then, right???
Umm, like no ‘n stuff?

Yummy stats, anyone?

  • Last season The Blue Devil’s golf team had 14 players.
  • Rudy’s Runt was one of nine players who competed in only one or two tournaments.
  • The team’s top five golfers, on the other hand, competed in at least nine tournaments.
  • Pussyboy’s best finish was a tie for 36th at the Fighting Illini Invitational.
  • Asscrack’s season competition average was 74.5, which made him the 12th best player on the 14-player team.
    ::: Duke’s the one who should be suing! Just who the hell was the asshat who ‘recruited’ this loser?!? :::
  • So the coach decides to whittle the team to about half its size and used the time-tested practice of keeping the best players — but ‘Drool wasn’t havin’ any of that action and got all ‘don’t you know who I am?!?’

    They did.
    You’re a loser.
    They cut you.
    That’s life.

    There is no ‘Andrew’ in TEAM.

    Andouche said he’s suing because privileged uppercrusters like him always gets what they want and no way some golf-pro wannabe teacher is gonna stand in his way “to make sure this doesn’t happen to anyone else at Duke.”
    Bitch forgot to mention he’s also suing for as much money as he can shake from the Duke dollar tree ‘unspecified compensatory damages’ and use of the school’s state-of-the-art golf center (while he is in school and after he graduates).
    Drama Queen also wants a jury trial.

    So does mommy.

    “This has been heartbreaking,” Donna Hanover, said in a statement. “We tried for many months to convince members of the Duke administration that because we are rich and white ‘the rules’ don’t apply to us this situation should be corrected and we are pissed off and looking for retribution sad that we have now had to turn to the court.”

    If this ginormous waste of time and taxpayer dollars does go to trial, I hope it’s on teevee and Judge Judy gets the call so she can brand his pampered puss with her own special brand of ‘I don’t think so!’
    I would TIVO the hell outta that shit and throw a big ol’ Bew Hew Ball so people could gather to eat popcorn and point and laugh hysterically at little Andy … just like those lucky bastards at Duke get to do every day!

    Good times!

    July 24, 2008 at 7:54 pm 6 comments

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