Posts tagged ‘superstition’

Dumb in Dallas

Intersection of Stupid and DumbassThe PC Police are at it again … this time in Dallas County, Texas where a snoozer of a meeting about traffic tickets turned all kinds of nasty as quick as 1-2-3 over the use of one of the world’s most common astronomy terms.

1. Commissioner Kenneth Mayfield, who is white, said it seemed that central collections office “has become a black hole” because paperwork routinely gets lost there.

2. That caused Commissioner John Wiley Price, who is black, to shout “Excuse me!” before correcting his pigment-deficient colleague, saying the office has become a “white hole.” 

3. And that caused Judge Thomas Jones, also black, to demand an apology from whitey Mayfield for his racially insensitive comment.

Seriously people — this again?!?
I feel a crying jag coming on.

For the record …
Black Hole:
  • An area of space-time with a gravitational field so intense that its escape velocity is equal to or exceeds the speed of light.
  • A great void; an abyss: The government created a bureaucratic black hole that swallows up individual initiative.
    Source: American Heritage Dictionary

    White Hole:
  • The reversal of a black hole.
  • A theoretical celestial object that ejects matter.
    Source: Unabridged (v 1.1)

    I’ll grant you, so far the 2008 Verbal Retardation Award has to go to the Brits who wanted to ban ‘brainstorming’ in favor of ‘thought showering’  — but these Dallas County Commissioners have definitely earned themselves a most dishonorable mention in the ’20 Kinds of Asshatednessly Overboard Responses’ subcategory.

    What other perfectly legit words and phrases will we next be asked to quit?
    Hmmmmmmm …..

  • Will we never have another black out?
    ::: Los Angelinos rejoice — right? :::
  • Do they stop searching for the black box after plane crashes?
  • Will companies have to stop reporting that they’re in the black?
    ::: Not many are actually doing that right now anyway :::
  • Should Sikorsky rename the Black Hawk helicopter — and (ACK!) what about Ridley Scott’s movie of the same name — guess that puppy’s got to be redone.
  • What’s to become of the folks currently living in Black Lick, Pennsylvania?
    ::: where o’ where will Aunt Midge’s mail go?!?!?! :::
  • Will Publix stop carrying black cherry soda?
  • Do I no longer have to fear black cats?
  • Can anarchists no longer fly their black flag?
  • Does Germany need to rename the Black Forest?
  • Will families no longer have black sheep?
    ::: don’t get excited Cleetus – you’ll always have that honor :::

  • God help the environmentalists once the aliens go PC …

    July 10, 2008 at 4:18 pm 6 comments

    As luck would have it …

    Hey hey Barry-baby – Is that a big ol’ wad o’ lucky charms in your pocket or are you just supah-dupah happy to see me?


    They are good luck charms.

    S’okay … it’s just another sign that this hot, electoral thang we’ve got going is meant to be.

    SUPERSTITION — it’s the tie that binds!

    O’Beautiful admitted he’s getttin’ his good booga booga on by carrying around the trinkets supporters have handed him at campaign appearances — including a lucky poker chip and a Native American eagle.

    I guess he keeps the thong and lock of my hair I mailed to campaign HQ in his ‘other’ special place.

    Next time I’m totally sending him a hand-crafted Hamsa to protect against Cindy Lou Who’s Dead-On-The-Inside Evil Eye of Doom!!!

    June 24, 2008 at 12:52 pm 2 comments

    Good luck on Friday the 13th

    If you are paraskavedekatriaphobic, you know that today is the one day when you must be cautious about the dreaded black cat; take care to keep the salt in the shaker; avidly avoid mirrors; leave ladders alone and – in general – stay away from ALL things that could break or fall on you.

    Oh cut it — don’t front like you didn’t think about it as soon as you realized the date today! Everyone does — well, a lot of us anyway …
    Ending the week on the Devil’s Dozen is the one of the most widely held superstitions in the United States – which means that if you’re not, like, totally careful today — YOU could have one seriously  effed weekend!

    Being the wildly superstitious person smart Cookie  that I am, I know to be on the lookout for good luck signs that will help me counteract any bad booga booga looming large today.

    ** Acorns are hard to come by here in South Florida – although I do have some Buckeye nuts in the house but given Ohio State’s finish the last two years in f AND b ball –  I don’t think we can count those nuts as a harbinger of good luck.
    ** I’m fresh out of four-leaf clovers (what? You don’t keep some on hand, you know — just in case?)
    ** The nearest horse from which I could pull a shoe is at a polo stable a few miles from home – but then there’s that whole breaking and entering mess to deal with and, well, who has time for that on a workday, right?

    What to do!
    What to do!

    Wellllll — as luck would have it — driving out of my neighborhood this morning I saw the crème de la crème – the ultimate – THE most top-shelfiest good luck symbol of them all!
    A Rainbow

    So, like – whew, right?!?

    I’ll cross my fingers for the rest of you.


    June 13, 2008 at 2:23 pm 3 comments

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