Posts tagged ‘story’

Sleeping with the fishes?

Old and Busted: A summer house with a view of Puget Sound or winter condo on the Intracoastal in Boca.

New Hotness: Seasteading!

According to the The Seasteading Institute, [the WHAT?] a floating city off the coast of San Francisco may be just a few short years away.
::: Grab your Swimmies, Scooter! :::

“Some people think we’re crazy. A lot of people think we’re crazy,” said crazyassmofo Patri Friedman, a former Google engineer who left that profitable popycock to build houses in the sky on the sea.
::: … if it walks like corporate burnout and talks like corporate burnout … :::

“Some people think terrible things could happen, others think it would be great.”

Let’s dispense with the verbal vagaries and just call it ‘terribly great’, ‘kay?

Well it could be!

I mean, imagine the breathtaking panoramic seascape!
Think of the WAY fun whale humping keggers!!
Visualize what that kind of constant exposure will do for cancer research!!!
And wrap your brain around what the mere threat of going from ‘prison bitch’ to ‘shark bait’ will do for recidivism rates!!!!

Oh yeah – this concept has ‘upside’ written all over it!

Well, except for all that fantastically unpredictable Pacific Plate tectonic activity … and those pesky Pacific hurricanesand the millions of pounds of garbage meatheaded land-dwellers dump in the oceans every year.

Yup – except for all that mess, this bird’s got wings!

Just one question – is a hovercraft included in the package? ‘Cuz that’s gonna be one HELLA long bridge!


March 12, 2009 at 5:20 pm 3 comments

RIP John Updike


January 27, 2009 at 8:09 pm 4 comments

Don’t try this at (the) home

Some poor old peepaw in upstate New York found out the hard way it’s not so easy to get your dick out of the ringer.

No, seriously — that’s, like, exactly what happened.

Firefighters were dispatched to the Newburgh campus of St. Luke’s Cornwall Hospital this weekend after hospital personnel asked them for tools to cut off a “ring”.
And by “ring” they meant a quarter-inch thick, inch-long steel pipe housing the private parts of a 73-year-old man trying to get his geriatric swerve on.
::: not a good look :::

Firefighters assessed the situation, probably had a hearty belly laugh or two and told some off-color jokes before choosing a “wizzer saw” – which is an automotive tool powered with air bottles frequently used in car crashes — to get grampy’s bacon out’ the brig.

In the end, it took more than an hour and a half to free Methuselah’s member, but the good news is father time will live to stroke his joystick another day.

RecordOnline: Quality Journalism Lives Here

October 27, 2008 at 11:17 am

Beyonce is full of crap

The Mighty B has dubbed herself “Sasha Fierce” for her new double album, “I Am … Sasha Fierce.”
::: my my, how original – ‘cuz NO ONE has done that shit before … :::

“I have someone else that takes over when it’s time for me to work and when I’m on stage, this alter ego that I’ve created that kind of protects me and who I really am.”
::: Bitch please … :::

“Sasha Fierce is the fun, more sensual, more aggressive, more outspoken side and more glamorous side that comes out when I’m working and when I’m on the stage.”

Soooo, Beyonce thinks she’s Rihanna?


October 23, 2008 at 12:03 pm 6 comments

Look at this mess!!!

What in the holy frijole, people?!?
I go away for five minutes and all hell breaks loose!

  • The National Enquirer put Bat Boy on the back burner and bitchslapped the MSM with their John Edwards baby daddy drama scoopapalooza.
  • Xenu called Issac Hayes back to the mothership and St. Peter dealt Bernie Mac a bad hand.
  • Russia got its bully on against Georgia — because bombing is WAY more fun than a Facebook superpoke.
  • The Beijing smog did the unthinkable … Chinese officials got all hell-naw about the fug but embraced new math for the ‘women’s’ gymnastics team … Spanish ballers and a Swedish spoil sport tied for the gold in International Dumbass …
  • Pakistan’s prez is totally  quitting… no he’s not … yes he is
  • WFAN answered the all-important Baha Men question.
  • Brett Favre unPacked.

    I am SOOOOO getting a babysitter next time I leave the house because you kids can’t be trusted to act right when I’m gone!

    August 15, 2008 at 1:50 pm 1 comment

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