Posts tagged ‘southern’

‘lekshun Day Suthuhneze


Election Eve … Scene: Sherwood Baptist Church — Huntsville, Alabama

vote_1Y’all done knowed wee’yuz gownnuh bee heeyuher fer hahrz tuh mayk shur thoez loe-dan daymuhkratz doen’t weeyun.

Gawd! Thess iz goennuh tayk fur-ay-ver!

FOE-TOE: Ellen Hudson, Thu Huhntzveeyull Tahmz

November 5, 2008 at 12:09 am

Southern progress?


You know it’s gonna be a long day when the first thing you read is a tale of retarded racist redneckery so egregious you fall out of your chair and land squareass on the Pergo under the Mac.
::: I did. I’m ok. Thanks for asking. :::

Today’s tale comes from landlords Wilber and Julie Williams – a couple who help put the ASS in Tallassee, Alabama one good ol’ boy day at a time.

These two twits sling stupid so well they got the attention of the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD), which charged the degenerate duo with violating a nifty little piece of legislation we like to call the Fair Housing Act after they forced a white couple to move from a rented home because they were seen …
… doing drugs in the den?
::: nope – try again! :::
… pimping ho’s out the house?
::: nuh uh – try again!! :::
… selling babies off the back porch?
::: Negatory!!!! Try again!!!! :::
… talking to a black couple in their front yard?
::: DING DING DING — we have a winner!!!! :::

The whole mess began back in February when the cankerous couple rented a house to Melissa Jones and her family. Things were going along just fine until one day in May when the Frankenpair did a drive-by at the exact moment that *gasp*  BLACK PEOPLE were visiting with Jones!!!
::: How shocking in these modern times and all – right?  Oh wait … it’s Tallassee … I think they’re still holding out for a Confederate win … :::

According to Jones’ statement to HUD authorities, her bias bitch of a landlord later called her demanding, “Those people need to leave. I don’t want them on my property.”

One week later Judgmental Julie is said to have called the renters again — only this time her phone conversation was recorded.
::: I you, technology!!!! :::

The phone transcript is said to show Julie Williams saying, “If y’all want to have African-Americans to visit, we’re going to ask you to move … this has never happened with any renters that we’ve had … It’s not fine on our property.”
::: someone’s got her Klan robe in a BIG ol’ twisty bunch!! :::

The case goes on to state that Jones told her landlord she wasn’t just friends with black people — but that she had family members (bluud tahz, y’all) who were of mixed ethnic background. She says she was then told to “go ahead and move before the rent’s due for July.”
::: K …K …K’mon! Really?:::

Melissa Jones told HUD authorities that the McCainiac called again in July to pressure her into moving, telling her, “You should live in the projects if you want to interact with those people. I will sell the house if I have to in order to get you out. I don’t care if you made a complaint to HUD, you have to move.”
::: yew kin hav mah kohled ded hart wen yew prah et frum mah kohled ded bohdee :::

The couple moved the first of September.
If a U.S. Administrative Law judge finds the depraved defendants guilty he can award damages for actual loss, emotional distress, humiliation, and loss of civil rights.
::: YE$ :::
The judge can also add civil penalties and a federal district court judge can award punitive damages if the defendants are found guilty.
::: YE$$$$$$$ :::

Let’s all lift Melissa up, Up, UP in prayer so that she may receive actual, real, hardly-practiced-in-the-deep-South, 21st Century-style justice and not just some nastyass rotting doublewide, a pair of wooden dentures and a tattered Farmer’s Almanac.

Can’t hurt to hope …

 

 

October 15, 2008 at 2:46 pm 44 comments

This is nuts!


Man with bulls balls hanging from his truckDang it all to hell and back!
They’s up thar in Tallahassee tryin’ to pass laws sayin’ we cain’t have no truck balls no more. What IS this world comin’ tew, I ask yew?!?

Yesstiddy, a buncha senators got together and made it a law sayin’ people with trailer hitches that look like the dangling southern end of a northbound bull are gonna hafta pay a big ol’ $60 fine.

Seextee dollerz! That thar is a lot of munee!! People are gonna hafta be choosin’ between their beer and their balls! Yew talk about yer rock and yer hard place? Thass it, right thar!

Next thang ya know, they’re gonna tell us we cain’t pimp our rides with mudflap girls or the Confederate flag or nuthin’ no more — cuz their ‘offensive’ or some bullcrap like ‘at.

I bet yew this whole mess got started by some panty waste liberal commie pinko or maybe one o’ them soccer moms you always hear ’bout bitchin’ about this thang or that thang her ‘preshuss kid’ wuz exposed to or some kinda crap like ‘at.

Mobile home trailer, double wide trailer trailer parkIt jess takes one pansy ass like ‘at to go an’ ruin it fer the rest of us!

I mean, this is really some serious shit, y’all!

Sheeeyuht!
I know a buncha folks who’re gonna hafta sell the trailer over all the fines they’s gonna git. An’ all jess cuz somebuddy didd’n think havin’ someone’s balls in their face wuz PC.

Wut-EVER!

 

 

April 18, 2008 at 4:05 pm 15 comments


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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