Posts tagged ‘songwriter’

Yup, that’s one way to do it!


So there’s this song out there called ‘Bust Your Windows’ by a hot piece named Jazmine Sullivan and it’s all about a former boyfriend and the playful way she clued him in that she wasn’t exactly down with his cheatin’ horndoggery (mmmmyeah, ok, so the title does kind of give it away).

“I bust the windows out your car
After I saw you laying next to her
I didn’t wanna but I took my turn
I’m glad I did it ’cause you had to learn”

Lack of preposition notwithstanding, the song is kind of catchy in an angry-girl-anthem kind of way, which means I am all about it  — but it’s missing the finality one expects from a brutal breakup song.
::: I cut yer dick of with mah ax … see? now that’s catchy!! :::

But Jazzy’s from Philly and I guess that’s just how they do it up there and all what with bustin’ out windows and scrawling initials on the hood with a crowbar and suchlike and that’s all cool and everything … I  just wasn’t raised that way.

I was brought up where this kind of business gets handled … differently.

Just ask Cropwell’s own Josh Sempley.
::: BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Suckit Dickweed! That gag order is all KINDS of over!!! :::

For a while there it was all sexy sleepovers and hot steaminess between Josh and me …

until the skank he was bangin’ behind my back thought she’d try and school me on his scammin’ ways many Christmas moons ago.

holidayroachBeing the holiday season and all, I decided the proper thing to do would be to give them both big, BIG presents!!
::: I’m a giver like that. It’s just how I roll :::

First I trotted on down to Livvy’s Bait & Tackle just off Highway 280.
Livvy’s was this fun little place my dad would take me when I was little to get top-of-the-line spinners, streamers and shad wraps.
Folks forced to buy their bait on a budget could also get minnows, maggots and, my personal favorite, roaches!

A small ten dollar investment got me a half-pound of the creepy-crawlies — which turned out to be quite a powerful deterrent to late-night prank skank calls after she discovered the little demons inside the car she ** oopsie ** forgot to lock.
::: ho’, Ho’, HO’!! :::

“Oooh Yeah I did it
You should know it
I ain’t sorry
You deserved it”

Josh’s gift was more personal.

roadsterD-bag’s pride and joy — his raison d’être, if you will — was a tasty and totally cherry 1927 T-Bucket Roadster he built by hand from a kit.
That sweet thing was full of sweat-equity and powered by love so, of course, I gave it the royal treatment!
A Super-Ultimate-PRIMO bath using only the finest Brillo® and acetone mixture my never-be-hustled-again heart could manage.

You broke my heart
So I broke ya car
You caused me pain
So I did the same”

And did you know dishwashing soap isn’t supposed to be poured into the gas tank?!?
::: hehe – MY BAD!! … Live and learn, right?!? :::

Ooohhhhhh … good times, Good TIMES!

So, just so you know Jazzy baby — if your record label is lookin’ for a funky follow-up? Call me!

— and what about YOU?

ooooo tell … TELL!!

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November 20, 2008 at 4:50 pm 2 comments

Drugs are bad … mmmmkay?


I’ve got a post-debate hangover which means I feel bad that it wasn’t a true blowout one way or the other and when I feel bad I think of other people who I bet feel bad or at least look bad and so I try to find pictures of them to make myself feel better because, well, look at them — they’re fug and famous which means they’re worse off than me because I can be fug in my computer room and no one has to know.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Sucks to be you famous fuggies!
And so, while having my fourth cup of coffee (what?!? that’s normal!!) I came across the poster child of famous fug and so I am turning my Saturday morning into a PSA because, well, I care.
::: actually I don’t have anything else going on for a while — the gym isn’t open yet, but whatever … :::

I give you Amy Winehouse — snapped doing something somewhere in London sometime last week (photo left). I’m sad for her because I remember her just four short years ago when her career began to blow up (photo right).

Seriously, does anyone care about this bitch?
And just how the hell is she still alive?!?

Britney — you takin’ notes, hon?

September 27, 2008 at 1:14 pm 3 comments

Just a word of caution for the ‘rents


R. Kelly

** If you have a daughter — keep close tabs on her.
We’re bettin’ he’s looking for the anger bang **

Who: R. Kelly

What: Not Guilty

When: Today

Where: Chicago

Why: Guess they like  their child porn in the Windy City …

 

June 13, 2008 at 8:54 pm 1 comment



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