Posts tagged ‘son’

Adventures in Piss-Poor Parenting

Old and busted: Grounding your kid for punishment
New hotness: Making your kid murder something for punishment

Well, at least for one mentally-challenged mother in Georgia, it is.

Move over Jo-Jo ‘Tat Mom’ Marsh – there’s a new Queen of the Decidedly Dumbass!

Meet Lynn ‘Do my Crazy, Vacant, Googly Eyes Make Me Look Like A Batshit Crazy Crackah’ Middlebrooks Geter —–>

Lynn’s response to her son’s shitty report card wasn’t sending him to bed with no dinner, taking away his PlayStation or locking up the Webkinz.

Hell to the no!
Lynn’s not down with that tried-and-true shit!
She believes a lesson isn’t truly learned unless a sin’s been duly earned!

And so, for the grievous infraction of failing subtraction [or whatever the hell he came up short on] — Lynn thought the best way to impress upon her son the importance of academic excellence was to hand over a hammer and have him act as hitman on his own hamster.
::: Appropriate Response ULTRAFAIL :::

The day after his mom forced him to kill his beloved pet, Lynn’s  12-year-old soon-to-be-plagued-with-horrific-flashbacks son told his teacher … who reported it to DFCS authorities … who contacted police … who arrested Mommy Muttonhead and charged her with one count each of animal cruelty, child cruelty and battery.
::: Appropriate Response SUCCESS :::

If this is how she supervises schoolwork, can you just imagine how that trick handled potty training!?

* mad props to saratoday for the heads-up on this heinous ho *


January 26, 2010 at 11:53 am 3 comments

Judicial Change I Could Believe In

A heinous whore who tortured her child has been:
1. Denied any and all contact with her son
::: GOOD! :::
2. Sentenced to at least four years in prison
3. Ordered to receive parenting training
::: MOMMI … wait … what?! :::

22-year-old Tabitha Rich put her 33-month-old son butt-first into a pan of boiling water to punish the poor child for the grievous infraction common childhood condition of being constipated.
She also burned his foot with a cigarette and was responsible for other outrageous injuries …

… and yet – instead of barring that bitch from ever reproducing again, some schmuck judge gives her parenting training?!

I’d think the idea would be to prevent her from parenting for, like, EVER!

I mean, ok sure – that skank needs to study up — but wouldn’t it just be easier to obliterate her ovaries and seal her cervix so we don’t have to wait and worry when this MOTY candidate goes for the sequel?!

Because you know there would be one.


We accept the use of chemical castration for male sex offenders, such as rapists, pedophiles, and exhibitionists but then get all touchy when it comes to making it a permanent kind of NOT GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN when some wretched women abuses her offspring.


Cookie’s Conclusion: Just because she has a vagina doesn’t mean she’s mommy material and mommies who wound their wee ones should be forced to surgically forfeit the feminine fixtures of their fertility.

Bandwagon, anyone?


December 16, 2009 at 11:02 am 2 comments

Tuesday Twofer

That’s right folks!!
It’s Double-The-Trouble Day here at LIAC as we bring you the Dumb Bitch of the Day AND a Total Parenting FAIL  — All In One!!!!
:: soak it up snowflakes — ‘cuz you’re the only ones gettin’ anything poz out of this sad tale of woe :::

Authorities are charging a North Carolina woman and her boyfriend with felony child abuse and being two of the most ginormously colossal fucking dumbasses in all of eternity after they slept their way through what we all know were the hellish, shreiking cries of a baby having his toes chewed off by a dog …

And just how do mommy dearest and her luvah Zzzzzzz their way through such an attack?


::: I know, shock right? meh :::

But it’s true.
Seems Robie Lynn Jenkins was too effed in the head drugged up and twenty kinds of tahr’d y’all to be aware of her four-month-old boy bawling his tiny baby brains out as the pitt bull she and her boyfriend, Tremayne Spillman, were babysitting ate all five toes on the child’s left foot.

According to a sheriff’s office report, “Ms. Jenkins said she was taking medication and never heard the child cry out and only discovered the incident when she started changing the child’s diaper” THE NEXT MORNING!!!

And by ‘taking medication’ we have to assume they mean she was overdosing on Oxy with about twenty beer backs and nineteen Cuervo chasers ‘cuz that’s the only kind of sleepies I can think of that would render someone stone-cold fucking DEAF to the sound of their own child being eaten alive mere feet from their fucked up losery ass.

The wee one was transported to Pitt Memorial Hospital (a bit of karmic irony there …) where medical authorities warned he’s also in danger of losing the entire foot.
::: Major sad face! 😦 :::

Not for nothing, but I’d say it’s time for authorities to help him lose his mess-up mother as well for, like, EVER!


September 1, 2009 at 10:36 am 4 comments

What’s in a name? Everything.

Just when I was beginning to think it would never be possible to dig emotionally deep enough to warm the bitter recesses of my cold, cold heart – I get an email with a link to a story so uplifting I couldn’t not pass it on.
::: ^5 Springdaddy :::

dfnamesIt’s about a bunch of steely-eyed ironworkers building the new 14-story Yawkey Center at Boston’s Dana Farber Cancer Institute who have figured out a truly ingenious way to give sick children help … in the form of hope.

“Every day, children who come to the clinic write their names on sheets of paper and tape them to the windows of the walkway for ironworkers to see,” writes Michael Levenson of The Boston Globe.
“And, every day, the ironworkers paint the names onto I-beams and hoist them into place as they add floors” to the building.

dfnames2a3“It’s fabulous,” one patient’s mother said.

“It’s just a simple little act that means so much. They don’t have to do this, the guys. They could just do their job and do a good job at it and give us a building that we can get treatment at, but they go the extra step and that’s huge.”

Most days, Levenson writes, “the clinic’s walkway fills up like the passageway of an aquarium, packed with children gazing through the glass.

“When a new name goes up on the building, the children cheer and clap.”

 The building is quickly becoming a monument — living testimony — to lives of the scores of children receiving treatment at the clinic.

dfnames3Over the last month, the ironworkers “have painted more than 100 names on the building and emblazoned part of their crane with a likeness of SpongeBob SquarePants.

“They have also painted a few special messages on the steel, like ‘Hi Hanna Get Well ASAP :)’ ”

Click here to watch a video of the ironworkers in action and read Levenson’s full story.
** just be sure you have a box of Puffs on standby **

The Boston Globe Story
Dana Farber Cancer Institute

February 26, 2009 at 7:55 pm 7 comments

Pinellas pinheads strike again

I remember when even the most severe case of the huffy puffies only got you a trip to the principal’s office.
::: HI Mr. Fischer!!! :::

But these days?
Well, let’s just say they do it a little differently now …
… at least in Pinellas County, Florida!
::: You can always count on Flaaaahriduh! :::

tantrumLast week, a kid in Largo had what I have to assume was just THE most stupendously colossal conniption in the history of all conniption fits ever because — instead of making him kick it old school in the corner for the day or write ‘I will not invoke the name of Satan and wish death to rain from the skies’ 1,000 times on the blackboard — his drama queen teachers pulled the ‘bitchass kid is crazy‘ card and had his adolescent ass locked the fuck UP!

Ayep — they Baker Acted a second grader.

Authorities say the 7-year-old boy threw a tantrum so Titanic that his classroom had to be evacuated.
::: Really?!? Do tell!! :::

The child allegedly:
Stepped on a teacher’s foot
::: awwww, someone gots a owchie! :::
Tore up the room
::: NOT gold-star behavior, Johnny! :::
And “battered” a school administrator
::: Oooo, now that one does sound serious! :::

That can’t be right — can it?!?

I mean how, exactly, does a 7-year-old ‘batter’ an adult?
They weigh, what? About 55 pounds at that age?
That’s a bag of sweet feed, the big Bil Jac or a few gallons of water, right?
What adult can’t hoist that shit over one shoulder and carry the tempestuous little tadpole straight to the timeout room?

Ooooo — I KNOW! I KNOW!!

Ones who enjoy scaring the crappy cafeteria lunch out of the rest of the class?!?!?
DING DING DING – I think we have a winner!!!
::: Do not FUCK with Mr. Stempley, brats! That dick will put your little snotnosed ass aWAY!! :::

In case you didn’t know …
The Baker Act allows people [7-year-olds] to be taken for mental health examination against their [7-year-old] will. But it requires a [7-year-old] person show a substantial likelihood of causing serious injury to himself or others. Absent that, police cannot use the Baker Act to take [7-year-olds] someone into custody against their [7-year-old] will, even if they think the [7-year-old] person needs help.

Largo deputy police Chief John Carroll said putting Junior in lockdown was the right thing because “This was not the first time the boy had acted up.”
::: Wait. I’m confused … did he act up or did he throw the mother of all way super deadly dangerous tantrums?!? ‘Cuz there’s, like, a really, Really, REALLY huge difference between the two … IJS …:::

“That’s not the purpose of the Baker Act at all,” Raine Johns, who handles Baker Act cases for two Florida counties but  is not involved in this case. “Stepping on somebody’s foot doesn’t rise to the level of substantial bodily harm.”
::: Well someone had his daily allowance of common sense for breakfast! :::

The boy spent a night at Morton Plant Hospital before being seen by a child psychologist and then released … with no charges being filed.
::: … mmmm hmmmmm… :::

This is a total abuse of police power,” said the boy’s father. “My son has no mental health problems. He’s never hurt himself. He’s never hurt anyone else.”

Oh, don’t worry, dad! It’s not like you’re kid is special or anything!!
Well, not where YOU live, anyway.

Pinellas schools police report they have been involved throwing students in the psych ward 83 times from the beginning of the school year to the start of last week.
::: Now that’s a commitment to commitment!! :::

The boy’s parents are keeping him and a 9-year-old sister out of school because they’re “scared to death” to return.

Sounds solid and all and I’d probably do the same thing but … umm … a word of caution, folks?
Your school system incarcerated your kid for havin’ a hissy … do you really want to find out how they handle truancy?!?


February 15, 2009 at 2:14 pm 12 comments

Oh there’s a special place, indeed!


1.) The following content is replete with expletives for which I will not apologize as they are 100% wholly appropriate and I’m in no mood for argument — so just deal with the knowledge going in or move on right now.
2.) Oh, and also, there is a photo below that’s graphic, so if you’re squeamish, see the end of #1.


This pisses me off.

<—- This fat motherfuck of a fucking FUCK royally pisses me off!!

That gross muddascunt is 68-year-old Robert M. Rozenti of Port St. Lucie, Florida — who was just arrested and charged with neglect of an elderly person after his 90-year-old mother was found emaciated, left in urine-soaked clothes and wearing shoes that had GROWN INTO HER FEET!!!


I think if you look up scumsuckingdouchebaglazygreedyidiotfatass in the dictionary — it has his picture right there …
… and if it doesn’t, it should!

Mr. Ihopehissorryassrotsinhell told police that, not only was he the sole provider for his mother, but he was also appointed as her power of attorney back in 2006.
::: I wonder if that was around the same time he stopped giving a good goddamn about her? :::

Police were called in after she fell in the home she shared with Mr. Worstsoninthehistoryoftheknownuniverse and had to be taken to the hospital, where paramedics informed them of her condition. 

And then, of course, they saw her feet.

The police report says “her shoes were soiled with what appeared to be fecal matter … that part of her slippers were embedded in her skin and that her toenails had taken the shape of her shoes.”

When questioned by police, Mr. Ideserveadailyassrapingwithbrokenglass said he didn’t have a good relationship with his mother as he was her “illegitimate son.” He also said he was aware that his mother needs 24-hour care, but admitted he does not provide that for her.
::: ummm, yah — I think that’s PAINFULLY obvious, you goddamned fucking FUCKTARD! :::

You know — sometimes prison just isn’t enough …

SOURCE (with more photos for the not-so-faint-of-heart)

January 5, 2009 at 7:55 pm 6 comments

Here we go again …

!!!!! SICK BITCH ALERT !!!!!
!!!!! SICK BITCH ALERT !!!!!
!!!!! SICK BITCH ALERT !!!!!


Geez it’s gonna be crowded at the Mother Of The Year awards!

It seems like just yesterday that the hoochie twins were making news for their partiality to little-boy peen … and now we get to add 38-year-old Juli Faunce to our ever-growing ‘Pedo’ file.

But, unlike Tweedle Defective and Tweedle Diseased, Faunce doesn’t go for 13-year-old ass.
Nope! She likes ’em older!
Lean, mean and not a blackhead over 14!!!
::: … can’t drive, can’t shave, can’t stay up past 9 — oh yeah, so much to offer! :::

faunceOn Sunday December 28, police were called to her Delaware apartment where Mamma Bad Perm put on her big fat liar face and told the popo that a neighborhood boy had forced her 14-year-old daughter to have sex with him.
::: Little whipperslut!! :::

The fuzz then contacted the boy’s mother who said her son had sex alright — but it was with Mamma Faunce – not her teenage daughter.
::: PREDITORY! :::

Suddenly Juli gets jiggy with the factitudes and admits that *SHOCK* ‘yes, officer, I did have sexual relations with that boy!’ … on at least TWO occasions when he spent the night at her crib in November.

And that mess about Mr. Baby Luvah having sexy times with her daughter?


December 30, 2008 at 2:30 pm 7 comments

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