Posts tagged ‘shop’

Whatever gets you through …


Ever had one of those days when a diversion chock-full of healthy ackhilariosity and fortified silliation isn’t just welcome … it’s necessary?

Well, I had one of those bad bitches yesterday and let me just tell you — drinking will definitely bring the ahhhhh, but investing in the unusual, unnecessary or undeniably degenerate  is what will really cut the shyte!

Frealz!
It’s totally theraputic!

Sometimes it’s supplies for sexy times from Sassy Kat, sometimes I just want a taste of Teavana’s ambrosial offerings and sometimes I need a double dose of ethnic chic that only Soul Sistah can supply.

believeingodBut for days when everything seems to be turned upside-down on a sideways hill in the rain there is only one option.

Perpetual Kid

My absolute 100% all-time FAVORITE ‘get fun shit’ place on the planet, Perpetual Kid caters to the functionally crazy like no one else.
::: Just like the Sharpie standing watch over my desktop pen army … Perpetual Kid speaks to me. :::

No day is complete without gettin’ my God on with some piously pepperminty breath spray and adding a little ba-da BLING to my boo boos is the bomb! And can I just tell you? My dead body towel has never failed to provide a quiet day at the beach.

Make some Tic Tac Toast; munch some Ugly Little Bitch mints or slip your best girl some “Birth Control” – whatever!

The point is that this crap has kept my funkatated ass from going twelve kinds of Chris Brown on folks more than once … and because I am getting a slight kickback for this post care — DEEPLY — about your well-being, I am sharing this time-tested strategerie for solutionizing your sanity.

I mean, it’s gotta be a better use of your money than bail, right? Right? …

April 9, 2009 at 3:54 pm 7 comments

GEEZUS!


geezusHoly shit!
That’s one manly Messiah!

What seductively suggestive soul — sure to soon be locked in a forever dance of doom with the devil — designed this provocative piece of plastic?!?

I bet it was a nun.

Oh you KNOW it was a nun!
Those bitches prolly have boners on the brain 24-7! 

And who could blame them?? They are married to the man, right?

Go for it, girls!

Hell, this bad boy beats my dashboard Redeemer any day! I’m totally looking for this shit on eBay and putting in a bid!

Just be warned if you decide to get one for yourselves, kiddies …
I hear you can go blind just from touching it …

March 30, 2009 at 2:18 pm 5 comments


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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