Posts tagged ‘sentence’

Accuracy, accurasea, akyura … wait. What?


So, OJ Simpson was sentenced today for his role in a 2007 raid on a Las Vegas hotel room where two collectibles dealers were robbed of a bunch of sports memorabilia and blah blah we’re-so-shocked-he’s-goin’-to-the-slammer blah …

Too bad no one paid attention to the little details … like just how much time he’ll have to look for ‘the real killers’ in prison.

oj

Thanks journos who weren’t part of the historic massive employment bloodletting this year and are lucky to still collect a paycheck from a job you’ve clearly given up on already!!!!!! It’s good to know we can‘t count on you!

December 5, 2008 at 10:10 pm 28 comments

Do NOT prey on the peen


Flaccid men everywhere – REJOICE!

The founder of Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals, which makes the male enhancement drug Enzyte, was sentenced to 25 years in prison by a federal judge in Cincinnati.
::: Bob’s not smiling so much now … :::

The judge ruled that Steve Warshak,
soon to have this view —–>
convicted on charges including fraud and money laundering, must begin serving his 25-year sentence within 30 days.
::: fresh meat on the way, fellas – meet Steve Shawshank! :::

“This case is about greed,” the judge said.
::: NO SHIT! :::
“His family and the people who work for him are also victims of his greed.”
::: eh, I kinda gotta think they sorta kinda liked the money tho … :::

SHOCKING REVELATION:
A federal jury found that Warshak, his company and several other defendants were guilty of victimizing thousands of their customers by misrepresenting their products.
::: you mean wheat grass and dirt doesn’t make a teeny peeny perk right the fuck up!?!:::

In addition to the prison sentence, the judge ordered the defendants to pay more than $500 million to the victims of their scheme.

Hey judge – does that ‘victim’ category include their horny, dissatisfied partners as well?

August 29, 2008 at 10:31 am 1 comment


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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