Posts tagged ‘scary’

Psycho Killer, Qu’est-ce que c’est?

It’s not weird that Billy Pierce, Jr. threatened Billy Pierce, Sr.
::: Maybe that’s how they bond in their family. :::

It’s not weird that it happened in a bathroom.
::: Maybe that’s how they bond in their family. :::

It’s not weird that batty Billy went berserk because he just woke up in a ‘homicidal mood’.
::: Because, well … uhh, umm ok maybe that’s a little weird … :::

It’s not weird that Pierce threatened Pierce with a pair of bone-cutting scissors.
::: Wait. That actually seems pretty weird to me :::

But hey – with a face like THAT —->
you kind of have to just expect that shit like that’s gonna down on a random Tuesday morning.

Chromosome-deficient Billy told the boys in blue he had the scissors because he was going to use them to cut his hair — but while doing whatever he does in the bathroom … with his father — but then an argument ensued and things got all … WEIRD!

Dad says Junior was getting edgyAgitatedMAAAAAD over health issues but esaclated the situation to straightjacket status when he broke out a “pair of black bone cutting scissors”, bypassed dad’s brisket region and headed straight for his stomach.

Father-Son Bonding FAIL!

Stop reading now if you don’t want to update your Billy Pierce, Jr. GPS codes.

Everyone else can (for now) breathe a sight of relief, secure in the knowlege that (for now) nutjob is being held without bail (for now) at the Hernando County Jail.


March 16, 2010 at 10:16 am 2 comments

Health SCARE Plan

Don’t worry South Floridians!
You don’t have to wait for Congress to pass legislation giving the legal okeedokee to prematurely deep six Nanny Myrt — Sunshine State ‘health officials’ are ON it!

Whole and entire months before FOX news began pushing the nation’s the collective panic button by erroneously – if not convincingly – tolling the death panel knell, Florida Surgeon General Ana M. Viamonte Ros was dotting the final i’s and crossing the last few t’s on a plan that would actually put some push to the fabled death panel proposal.

Ros’ plan recommends that hospitals overrun with flu cases give the proverbial ‘hand’ to the helpless and bar bitches with ‘incurable cancer, end-state multiple sclerosis’ and certain ‘other’ diseases from coming in and getting their treatment on.
::: Hippocratic hypocrisy!! :::

The plan — which is aimed at helping Florida hospitals navigate the wicked waters of actual megabig full-on pandemic pandemonium — also calls for doctors to remove patients with poor prognoses from ventilators to treat those who have better chances of surviving.
::: Kevorkian FAIL :::

Oh but don’t worry, sufferers!
The plan does allow hospital folks — IF NEEDED — to give your sick sorry ass ‘palliative care’ to keep you comfortable.
And by ‘palliative care’ they mean ‘shit to keep you quiet’.
And by ‘keep you comfortable’ they mean, ‘while you wait to die strapped to a gurney in a corner of the lobby’.

See?! They’re not going to totally abandon the sick and helpless!
::: at least not those with insurance ūüėČ :::

But the best part?‚Ä®Florida’s not alone!
YAY – company!!

With swi, err, H1N1 wreaking havoc on health wards nationwide, hospital heads from here to there are behind the 8-ball as they try to figure out just how to handle the flood of patients a truly heinous flu pandemic, like the one that gripped the nation in 1918, would unleash.

What to do? What to DOOOOOO?!?
Ya, I guess everyone was just waaaayyyy too busy for the last
NINETY-ONE FUCKING YEARS to worry about another inevitable pandemic, so playing catch-up with actual lives on the line’s just a slice of OK, right? Right?
::: ugh :::

And how does ‘the plan’ play out?

Well, when Utah tested a similar method out against reality in a drill a few months back, the results revealed some uh-oh’s, a few oh shit’s, and more than the requisite number of mmm-hmmm’s¬†found in typical health care policies.

For example, Utah family physician Pete DeWeerd had to tell the mother of a mock patient that her 7-year-old daughter, who had cerebral palsy and was suffering from the flu, would be turned away from the hospital and likely die.
::: uh-oh :::

“I don’t like to tell you this,” he said he told her. “It feels unfair, but our list is our list is our list.”
::: oh shit :::

He added, “It was awful. You get a huge lump in your throat.”
::: mmm-hmmm :::

Infectious-disease physician Tom Kurrus¬†said the public at large is largely uninformed of ‘test’ triage policies.

“Even with the scenarios played out and the discussions entertained, they still don’t understand,” he said. “It’s, ‘Why can’t I get into the hospital? Why can’t Grandma get put on a respirator?'”


The planning’s all fun and games until there really are too many people for too few doctors and hosptial beds and people put on their pissy pants.

S’cool. I get it. I’m down.

But I do have a teensy-weensy smidge of a budding problem with the Florida plan’s provisions to “reduce or eliminate” the legal liability of health care workers who, ‘in good faith’, deny or withdraw treatment from patients in an emergency.

In good faith?
In whose judgment?
The nurse? The patient? The guy outside in the hallway hacking flu cooties all over the place because he doesn’t have my/your bed?

Nooooo.‚Ä®In good faith – you know, like ICU personnel reassessing the viability of anyone on a ventilator every 48-72 hours [LET’S GET A MOVE ON PEOPLE! THESE PATIENTS ARE STACKING UP LIKE LEFTOVER DISHES AT THE ALL-NIGHT DINER!!!]
or like stopping medical treatment or outright discharging anyone who’s condition has taken a turn for the worse [CHECK PLEASE!]
to make room for the ‘not so worse’ [TABLE FOR ONE? RIGHT THIS WAY!].

Yeah, Nanny Myrt’s gonna need to have really good faith to make it through that!


October 20, 2009 at 12:20 pm 2 comments

Health Care ReFAIL

So, I’m gettin’ all d√©j√† vu-ey over this whole health-care reform issue because I gots a bayud feeling whatever version of this pitifully lame mockery of health-care reform initiative makes it to my boyfriend’s desk – it’s not going to end up providing any actual ‘reform’.
I know it. You know it. Reconize.

I mean, no doubt — the needs are there.
You simply can’t argue that something must be done to help the more than dental46 million uninsured Americans.
::: For those keeping score — that’s nearly 15% of all Americans — more people than in all of Canada or Spain and twice as many as Venezuela or Australia. That’s a lot of people, people!!! :::

Nor can you argue that the cost of health care has put those with so-so insurance on the medical skids and those with nice plans think they’re all fine and dandy because they aren’t the ones paying the hidden costs (all you so-sos are)¬†and they’re basically sheilded from the suffering of their poor, uninsured neighbors.
::: And don’t even start. It’s a no-brainer. Yes.¬†You should care about your
neighbors. :::

O’Baby says whatever bill is brought before him must broaden coverage, slow long-term cost increases and be deficit-neutral (mmm hmm) — all of this in spite of an expected price tag of more than $1 trillion over the next decade. And he wants it paid for without increasing taxes on the 95 percent of Americans who earn less than $250,000 a year.

Superbly scary pricetag aside, it might not pinch that other 5% quite as waitingmuch as they think to ante up considering they take in more than one-third of all pay in the U.S.

A new Wall Street Journal analysis of Social Security Administration data from 1979 and 2006 revealed the inflation-adjusted after-tax income of the richest 1% of households increased by a gargantuan 256 percent, compared to measly 21% for families in the middle income quintile.

They received “nearly $2.1 trillion of the $6.4 trillion in total U.S. pay in 2007, the latest figures available,” the report states. And those compensation numbers “don‚Äôt include incentive stock options, unexercised stock options, unvested restricted stock units and certain benefits.”

So, I’m sorry, but you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t rush out to get my boo hoo on for them right away. This ‘caste’ing of American society is a little too ‘fall of ancient Rome economy’ if you ask me, which you didn’t but it’s my blog so nyah nyah nyah nyah.

Oh but it doesn’t matter anyway.
I mean, for starters, the various and sundry versions of versions of the plans making the rounds through Congress include some of O’Bossyboss’ ‘must haves’, but – according to the Congressional Budget Office — none of them do enough to slow health care cost increases.


Add to that the harsh reality that nothing will ever change until and unless the government stops pretending that insurance companies are in the healthcare business.
Here’s a lesson kiddies: Insurance companies are in the profit industry. They do not provide health care, they don’t usually pay for some of it.

Bottom line? The whole reform issue is scary. It’s a thorny bush no one’s wanted to prune for, like EVER!
And, while¬†it’s perfectly natural for rank and filers like you and me to fear making a big change like this, it’s also wholly unacceptable for the people representing me you us to flap and squawk and click their heels about the work, the sacrifice, the harship of it all … and in the end do nothing of any consequence.

The current system is rotting the country from the inside like a cancer … and cancer doesn’t discriminate.



July 23, 2009 at 3:42 pm 4 comments

In His name?

No NO NO!!!
That is not how you do it, you sick fuckuva twisted wackjob!
:::¬† … which would normally be a tag of glory but, in this case, it means you’ve summited Mt. Dumbass — plant your flag, moron! :::

Time was a barbecue sandwich and some juice after Sunday school¬†was all it took to lure the faithful … I guess we’re doin’ it differently these days

Ugh … cue the crazy …

troy_ian_brisport_20090215174926_320_240Johnny Law over in Ohio has charged God’s little soldier, Troy Brisport, ——>
with kidnapping, ransom/sheild hostage and felonious assault for handcuffing some poor bitch, gagging her, stripping her naked then dressing her up in …
::: Nooo — it’s not that kind of story!!! :::

… dressing her up in an adult diaper while he …
::: nuh uh … not that kind either :::

… while he read Bible passages to her … for four tragically theologified days!
From the Book of Retard 8:38-19:
“For He is convinced that only an emergency dispatcher will be able to separate the supposed sinner from the sick fuckery being done in His name
at the Tamarack Creek Apartments.‚ÄĚ

Police say the 13th Apostle picked up his victim Wednesday night in Detroit and drove her to his apartment after she told him she had nowhere to stay.

The Master’s messenger must¬†give one sorryass sermon¬†because, at some point, the kidnapee fell asleep, which is when the kidnapper did as the shreiking voices in his head his Lord and Savior instructed and put his prey on hardcore house arrest!
::: Who’s a kinky Christian?!? Whooooz a kinky Christian?!?¬† YOU are!!! :::

Rev. Gotitwrong apparently also tried Рseveral times Рto suffocate his disinclined disciple using a pillow and blanket.
::: … the power of Christ compelled him … :::

I guess giving his testimony must just be, like, way harder and stuff these days because, after all that work, Troy The Thickheaded got a major case of the sleepies and went all nite-nite.

“And the¬†sufferer broke 20 kinds of free and ran walked stumbled into the¬†sun light parking lot to call 9-1-1 … and it was good.” Morons 25:36-27

Have fun ministering in County, dickweed!


February 18, 2009 at 4:43 pm 17 comments

House pet FAIL

What kind of dumbass keeps a primate as a house pet?

No no — serious question.
Because we’re not talking about some freaky Michael Jackson ‘mules you can put out to the back 40 and get your ‘isn’t he cuuuuuuute?’ on when you want to go all ‘exotic’.

We’re talking about our [wild] evolutionary brothers from a very¬†[wild] different mother who, as adults, have at least five times the strength of humans …¬†and who¬†even the first-rate researchifyers over at the Jane Goodall Institute agree¬†are meant to live in the wild, not in our homes.

And so again, I ask …¬†

What Kind of?
Keeps A Goddamned PRIMATE?

Some dumbass in Stamford, Connecticut – that’s who!
::: … although, technically, she doesn’t keep one anymore … :::

Meet Sandra Herold.
::: Hi Sandra! :::
Sandra is a 70-year-old woman who¬†owns¬†owned a 200-pound¬†‘celebrity pet’ chimpanzee¬†named Travis.
::: Hi Travis! :::

Trav – a¬†chimp who is said to have been toilet trained, could dress himself, ate at the table, could use a computer and reportedly starred in Old Navy and Coca-Cola commercials —¬†used a key to let himself out of Herold’s house last night.

He was out there, gettin’¬†all rampagey — attacking police cars, police men and Herold’s 50-something soon-to-be former friend — when the po po had to make ol’ Trav a permanent kind of dead.
::: Chimpi .. uhh no, that’s just sad … :::

According to reports, “Travis was being bad.”¬†He’d biggie-sized¬†an outburst but calmed down long enough for Herold to get him back in the house and give him a nice hot cuppa¬†Xanax-laced tea.
::: … mmm, yeah … but that one’s tricky ‘cuz ya hafta¬†get the pill-to-water ratio just righ … uhh,¬†well, umm … whaa … ACK – nothing! Nevermind!!¬†:::¬†

021609-chimp-fire-zoom1Bitch must’ve¬† messed up the mix because, moments later, just as Charla Nash was getting out of her car, Travis channeled his inner abuser and brought a beatdown so severe it put¬†her in the hospital with serious facial injuries after losing a ‘tremendous amount of blood.’
::: J. Fred Muggs would NOT approve!!! :::

Things got all stabby when Herold tried to pry her mate off Nash but, c’mon … how well do you think a Q-Tip’s gonna do against a marauding beast?
Ya — juuuust well enough to know when it’s time to haul ass back to the house and call for backup!

Police¬†arrived and Trav got to chargin’ … then¬†he smashed a car window and opened the door to a cruiser where an officer was hiding like a girl taking cover …
… and¬†that’s when things got all shooty.

Travis met the business end that officer’s gun several times before he ran¬†back to the house … and died.¬†

Oh the tragedy!
Oh the sadness!!

If only there’d been some WARNING that celebrichimp might go apeshit!!!

Wait. What’s that you say?
Oh, that’s riiiight!

Most folks remember dude’s rather public run-in with the law a couple of years ago when he escaped from an SUV and went running through the streets.
More than a dozen officers were dispatched that time.
::: I’m guessing there was a LOT more Xanax at at least two tranq guns¬†involved that time. Am I right? Am I right?? .:::

So what did we learn today, kiddies?

No¬†matter how many Old Navy spots he snags … no matter how much coin he banks your butt¬†— he’s¬†still a PRIMATE, complete with all those wildly unpredictable, might rip your nose off, deadly¬†PRIMATE tendencies.

Highly-trained, unique, special and just a few Darwin’s¬†shy of human¬†does not a safe house pet make.

… now if you’ll excuse me, my¬†Chilean Rose Tarantulas and Argentinian Puma need to be fed …¬†


February 17, 2009 at 4:56 pm 3 comments

Too close for comfort

The fine folks of Pennsylvania had themselves more than just a holiday this weekend — they got their shake-shake on with a real-life¬†earthquake!!
::: YAY!!! Tectonic activit-ay!!! :::

The 3.3 magnitude quake, which was centered in the Salunga-Landisville area of Lancaster County, was also felt as far away as¬†Philadelphia and Baltimore …
… which means it was¬†felt at Three Mile Island, too!!
::: WOO HOO!!! Three Mile Isla … wait. What?!? :::

3mileislandPartial core meltdown Three Mile Island?
:::¬†I feel the earth move … :::

Full emergency evacuation Three Mile Island?!?
:::¬†under my feet … :::

The most significant accident in the history of the American commercial nuclear power generating industry Three Mile Island?!?!?
:::¬†I feel the sky tumbling down … :::

“We consider this a very minor event, something local,” said Dale Grant, a geophysicist at the USGS’s 24-hour earthquake monitoring office in Golden, Colo.

3mileisland1Oh, whew then … right?

‘Cuz I bet the unexpected and violent movement of the Earth’s crust close enough to be considered pretty much directly beneath the site of one of the worst radiationally enhanced accidents in US history looks MUCH better from about six states away.

Yup! I’m sure it’s all good.

I bet this sort of thing just goes along with the territory if you live in the general vicinity of deformed deer, damaged daisies, curious cases of cancer and decades-long situations of shit going 20 kinds of dead dead dead for which you have zero explanation other than the reassuring government reports of ‘ain’t nothin’ wrong here!!’

YUP! Nuuuuuthing to worry about Pennsylvanians!
Go on about your day …

December 29, 2008 at 3:40 pm 7 comments

Claus for concern?

Anyone else see the irony in cautioning anklebiters not to talk to strangers … except for that one time of year when they’re dragged to a strange, noisy building and plopped squarely on the lap of an adult man who isn’t daddy but looks like a child-toucher and gets paid to dress up like a giant, fat elf and lie to them …


Oh well, at least the pictures are good though … right?


December 5, 2008 at 4:12 pm 6 comments

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