Posts tagged ‘sarah palin’

Dobbs in 2012?


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHELLNO!

The blubbery, rubbery rosacea-faced Republican got his fo’ shizzle on when asked by Fred ‘Red October’ Thompson whether he’d consider running for President in 2012.

“Yes is the answer,” he blah blah’d over the airwaves.

Lou “There’s aliens ever-whurr!” Dobbs wants the White House.
Not so fast, peepaw!
I mean, this shit ain’t presidential!
::: … or, hmmmm, IS it … :::

“I’m gonna be talking some more with some folks who want me to listen to ’em in the next few weeks. I mean I don’t even know what to tell you in terms of where I’m leaning. Because right now I’m fortunate to have a number of just wonderful options.”

Something vaguely famililar here … wakspeak … can’t commit to an original thought without prior advisor approval … no plan … don’t know … well, maybe … ‘options’ … blessed fortunate this’n’that …

… where have I heard this kind of confusing communicatory caca before??
Oh yeah …..

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Get excited!!!
Ring the bells and release the doves — this is GREAT shit!!

The Republican party is just a big ol’ natty bunch of nimrods who have gone absolutely and 100% gonzo retard!
Can you smell the AWESOME?!?
I mean, this basically guarantees we’ll get ringside seats to THE greatest show on Earth – a field fucking full of mouthfarts like Beck or Limbaugh or Hannity or Coulter (don’t count that skank out) thinking their blowhardiness can blow hard enough to diminish my boyfriend‘s glittery shimmery aura of audacified hopification.

DREAM ON, BITCHES!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

But, you know, this could be one seriously big buncha F-U-N!
Let ’em all run!
Well, everyone but Limbaugh.
Those hamhocks rubbing together at a runner’s pace would generate enough heat to melt that fucking lardass right … where … he … stan … uhh, on second thought RUN RUSH RUUUUUUN!!!!!

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November 25, 2009 at 11:04 am 4 comments

Idiots on the air


Editorial comment: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

No, but seriously – these two jackbags [nods to greeneyedgirl] prove the point: There is nothing more dangerous than an uninformed electorate.
(buying a book doesn’t mean you can read it, scooter …)

November 20, 2009 at 9:39 am

It’s hard out there for a ho!


Not content with publicly buttfucking common sense in the ear every chance she gets, Sarah Palin has found another foe, y’all!!

THE INTERWEBS!

At her behest (and using her letterhead) The Alaska state attorney general’s office sent www.crackho.com management a misspelled cease and desist order for – they say – hijacking their beautimously fabulous state seal.
::: HO TREACHERY!!! :::

“It has come to our attention that the website www.crackho.com has hijacked a State of Alaska webpage,” the letter warns Shoe Latif.
“Featured on this webpage is the official seal of the State of Alaska. Alaska law prohibits the use of  the official seal of the State of Alaska without permission.”
::: Sooooo Mavericky! :::

Now, I’m no scholar or anything — but all that ‘prohibition’ must mean that sites like vector-images.com, oldfordroad.wordpress.com,  www.anyflag.com and any of the other gozillion websites displaying or linking to the glorious symbol have written permission to do so.

Well sure!
‘Cuz they have to!!
IT’S THE LAW!!!

poutypalinEh … well, either that or nobody gives a flying fuck because they don’t have “crackho” as part of their domain name.
::: DING DING DING!!!!!! We have a winner!!! :::

Too bad it’s all moot now that Shoe shat herself a couple of brickety bricks, took down her site and put up a sad (and seriously unnecessary, girlfriend!! We should totally talk!!) mea culpa smothered in jibes, covered in digs with a smattering of hee hees aimed at the Alaskan Notness and her Supreme Idiocy.

Shoe, frealz hon? That trick isn’t worth the HTML effort it took you to href her bitch ass in the first place. No lie! M’kay snookums?
Just don’t go and do anything more severe to your site … unless, of course, you wanna sell the Cookie that sweet sweet domain name, of course!

SOURCE
SOURCE

May 13, 2009 at 3:58 pm 2 comments

Meghan McCain: Dating Martyr


Big Mac ruined EVERYTHING!

First he fucked up what could have been the absolute best ménage à troi in political history.
::: idiot! :::

Then his rabid race-baiting followers grossed voters out even more than his geezer locks and lemony Chiclets.
::: 5 words peepaw: Elizabeth Arden Red Door Spa :::

AND NOW his losery loserness has just wreaked utter havoc on daughter Meghan’s love life!
::: nice going, DAD!!! :::

“Of all the things people warned would happen post-election, no one ever said anything about how complicated dating would become,” the lonely ‘ho boo hooed in a blog post for The Daily Beast.
::: … someone needs John Edwards’ cell number – STAT … :::

“There are things that have been difficult, but nothing quite as tough as dating. I fear the election has destroyed my ability and desire to date.”
::: So you had to take one for the team … MAN UP!! ::: 

Miserable Megs also moaned about not going on a single date – NOT A SINGLE ONE! – during the whole and entire presidential campaign.
Bitch was just too busy to get bizzay.

But now that her dad’s put the old Straight Talk Express in park, Meghan’s ready to get her groove on!
Only she can’t.
‘Cuzza dad.

“Once I went out with a guy who said the food I had ordered was a “maverick choice” and proceeded to tell me, “Wow, straight talking must run in the family.”
::: Important Tip: eHarmony doesn’t screen out McCainiacs :::

Then there was that psycho fan of her mother, Cindy McCain, who recently told her she could be “his Cindy,” and asked if she ever wore pearls like her mother.

“Any guy that has a fetish for older women in pantsuits [Hillary] and large pearls [Barbara Bush] obviously only finds my last name attractive about me,” she wrote.
::: It really is your best feature, honey :::

“I am sure I am not being fair to all the men out there, but my recent experiences have left me scarred and wary of dating. At this point, my biggest aphrodisiac is an apathetic attitude toward politics.”

Meghan?
Allow me to introduce you to the perfect contestants for your dating game:
DMX … and Fiddy

Problem Solved.
Case Closed.
Now STFU and go gitcha swerve on, girl!

SOURCE

March 3, 2009 at 4:39 pm 24 comments

I see!


Well slap my ass and call me twinkie – I may not need the Tarot and ball, after all!! 

I predicted the Alaskan Hotness would be offered a snuggly (if short-lived) spot near the captain’s chair on the ol’ Straight Talk Express …

I also knew we’d all be standing in bread lines soon enough, so why pay Jenny Craig when food prices are shooting up so fast we’re all gonna starve on the government’s time  first …

And my divination of a web-only category for the Pulitzers???
Umm hmm, yuppers — that’s happening as well (and two years early, too!).

This is a huge slice of all-seeing AWESOMENESS!

I’ve got mad cerebral supersensory skillz, yo!
Miss Cleo better watch out, cuz I, like, know shit ‘n stuff!

OMFG – I KNOW SHIT, PEOPLE!!!!
::: Fall-back career – WHEEEEEEEE!!!! ! :::

I bet we are totally gonna get that call from Miriam-Webster any minute now!!!

… and those Lotto numbers … must. concentrate. HARDER! … 

December 9, 2008 at 11:43 am 4 comments

Sarah Palin is Vice-President of loungechairs!


large-msg-122671383782large-msg-122669372725Disappointed she couldn’t see Cuba from her Miami hotel balcony, the Alaskan Hotness took time out from her hectic schedule of birthin’ babies, buying couture, being all mavericky and showing up basically everyone else who attended last week’s Republican Governor’s Association meeting to get her tan on … oh, and plot the Palin World Domination 2012 tour.

Don’t be fooled by the lack of hair product! Her Supreme Snowyness is totally clocked-in, solutionizing all the complicatedly complex problematic stuff facing the fine folks of the great energy producing state of Alaska.
::: big red dog, Big Red Dog — keep an eye on that BIG RED DOG!!! :::

I bet there’s all kinds of hush-hush, top-secrety type stuff in what appears to be a $1,500 Balenciaga ‘Weekender’ handbag oh so casually thrown to the end of the chaise.

spchampMmm hmmmm … yuppers. Totally  worki .. uh … wha … is that … champagne??

… ACK! … feel dizzy … mouth dry … light heade … uhh what’s happeni …

Oooooooooo I think I need a gravity check. I am suddenly feeling all … tingly for this woman!

I mean, except for the whole no-coherent-thought-wannabe-world-leader-darn-tootin’-hockey-mom-pay-no-attention-to-the-man-behind-the-curtain-I-may-look-purty-but-am-really-really-REALLY-stupid thingamabobanstuff – we are soooo much alike!

She understands the benefits of ditching work to lay out.
::: sooooo important! :::
She sees value in ridiculously overpriced accessories billed to Mr. Notmybankaccount.
::: CRUCIAL! :::
And she has a firm grasp on what is the absolute quickest way to my pinko commie liberal bleeding heart … BOOZE!!!
::: we are one :::

*sniff — I totally  her right now!

SOURCE

November 18, 2008 at 5:02 pm 1 comment

Party Girl


Did you know that a new poll shows 64% of Republicans say the Alaskan Hotness is their first choice to run for president in 2012?
::: IT DOES! THEY DO! :::
*** And, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that 100% of Democrats, Independents, Moon-Worshippers, Pixie-Dust Inhalers and other World Dwellers concur!  ***

Reading the poll results (nearly choking on my coffee) my first thought was President … of the PTA? … of the Adopt A Polar Bear Cub Club?!? … of the Hottie GILFs (population YOU, girl!)?!?!?

But NOOOO! They’re, like, of America and stuff!! And I’m all ‘HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh GOP, how you amuse me with your wacky party jokes!!’ … until it dawns on me that they’re frealz on this one and then I’m all ‘WHOA! They are serious as a Dick Cheney heart attack!’

FAAAAANNNN-TASTIC!!!!

palinwinkFor the record: I’m on board – GO FOR IT, GIRLEEN!!

Run baby, run!
Run like you’ve never run before.
Run until your little Alaskan muklucks fall off.
Run to towns big and small all across this great land of ours and religionate the peoples; ethify the base and spread your rogue maverickness to the masses!!!!

I’ll even donate because what surer guarantee can I have of my boyfriend locking in a second term by Christmas than the promise of an “I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can’t” Cam-PALIN-Palooza!

OOOHH YAH!
YOUBETCHA!!

November 10, 2008 at 2:43 pm 2 comments

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