Posts tagged ‘retarded’

Dumb Bitch of the Day

Straight from the ‘Literally too stupid to be allowed in public’ file — a teacher from (like you couldn’t just guess?!) GEORGIA (mmm hmmm) allowed students to don mock Ku Klux Klan outfits for a school project.

Now, when I first read that I was all ‘What in the fucked-up hell kind of bullshit project is that?!’ but then my liberalcommiepinko everyoneshouldbeheard heart was all ‘Maybe I’m not getting the full picture here’ which actually just really pissed me off at me and made me all ‘Fuck that shit — there is no reason on God’s green EARTH that is acceptible!’

And – surprisingly yet thankfully – Lumpkin County School Superintendent Dewey Moye agreed.
::: all hope for our public education system is not lost … :::

He said DBotD Catherine Ariemma, who has taught a course combining U.S. history with film education for several years, could face punishment ranging from suspension to termination.
::: either of which is a perfect chaser for knowing you’re a colossal fucking dumbass without an ounce of common sense and judgment only a Metzger or Duke could love … :::

Ariemma said the whole mess began when her students decided to trace the history of racism in America as their high school project. Five pupils took on the subject, which included one of them filming the other four wearing the repulsive robes while reviewing Klan history.

And (like you couldn’t just guess?!) none of her students are black. (mmm hmmm)

“The kids brought the sheets in, they had SpongeBob party hats underneath to make it shaped like a cone,” Ariemma said. “They cut out the eyes so they could see.”

She then led the students out of the classroom and through the cafeteria to another location for filming.
::: dumb and dumber :::

“That’s when I heard there were a couple of students who were upset,” she said.

That shit is offensive!

“It was poor judgment on my part in allowing them to film at school,” Ariemma said. “… That was a hard lesson learned.”

The poor judgment was allowing the filming at school?! NOT allowing them to be clothed in what is loathed?!?
::: Calgon, take me away … :::

The sight of people in Klan-like outfits upset some black students at the school and led at least one parent to complain.

Student Cody Rider told local media that his cousin was among those who saw the group in white sheets and was frightened.
“I got mad and stood up and I tried to go handle it,” he told the TV station.

Moye pointed out that Ariemma has no history of missteps at the school.

The Cookie points out that you don’t … until you do …


May 25, 2010 at 9:53 pm 2 comments

God is Hate?

Well, he sure as shit is in Gainesville!

The fuckers in charge over at the Dove World Outreach Center, the “church” that has one of the most ironically inappropriate names in the history of all organized religion, is easing up ever so slightly on its ‘do away with all things gay’ stance of super-stupidity.

The church officials hatemongers posted a sign hatespeech last month declaring “No homo Mayor” which *oopsie* being a political statement and all just could maybe possibly jeopardize the cushy yet completely retarded tax-exempt status they enjoy as a hate group dressed up in a Pew and Bible costume for the ‘We’re really a church!’ Xtian hatathon taking place all across the land.


The church’s sign was referring to mayoral candidate Craig Lowe, a city commissioner who is gay. His opponent in next week’s runoff election, Don Marsh, said he is against Dove World’s tactics and doesn’t believe Lowe’s sexuality should be a campaign issue.

To keep their fucked-up tax status while still not really getting a fucking clue, “church” members have covered the original sign with a hand-written sign that reads, “No homo.”

Keep it classy, fucktards …


April 6, 2010 at 10:20 am 1 comment

Toled-uh-oh …

Why can’t you people just let Chuck E. Cheese be the hazardous innocent, bacteria-infested kiddie-fun cesspool megacenter it was meant to be?
Why, people?

Is it something they put in the pizza?
Is it the non-stop flashing of lights and constant rattleclang of asinine arcade activities?
Is it the 60 dirty, screaming ankle-biters running around all crazy-eyed and jacked up on sugar and caffeine?

Maybe it’s all three — but it’s for damn sure something because some tweedlebutts out there just cannot handle Da Cheez and — sadly but predictably — some dumb butt every coupla months gets his freakout on, forgets his 20 and gets all shooty.

This is that month and today’s role model comes to you courtesy of Toledo, Ohio, where a fight between two tweedlebutts left one of them hospitalized after a good old fashioned pistol whuppin’!
::: Because who doesn’t show up strapped to celebrate Junior’s seventh? :::

The dumbfuckery happened around 8:00 p.m. Sunday night at a South Toledo Chuck E. Cheese when two father-of-the-year candidates got their britches in bunches over one of them using an airhorn.
::: Show of hands for everyone who thinks alcohol was involved? :::

The men took their disagreement outside where one mentalist made his point by bashing the other one upside the head with the butt of his gun. Some witnesses say they thought they heard at least one shot fired before the cops came and Shut. That. Par-tay. DOWN.


Eh, whatever — but at least maybe — just maybe — during their investigation, Toledo’s finest can finally crack the mystery of just what it is about Chuck E. Cheese that robs some adults of their ability to reason and gives them a one-way ticket to straight Badecisionville.

Ok, prolly not … but it can’t hurt to hope.


February 23, 2010 at 11:04 am 16 comments

Ridonkulously Retardified!!!

This whole retarded debate over the use of the word retarded to describe shit that actually IS retarded is 30 shades of RETARDED – so fucking stop it right now with the back-and-forth blah blah over it!

Folks lost their gat damned minds earlier this week when it was reported that *OH NOES* White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel used the word when he told a group of liberal activists that it was “fucking retarded” for them to run ads attacking against some Democrats.


And then the hooha over David Carney – consultant for Texas Governor Perry – saying it was retarded that one of the candidate holding rooms for a debate would be in a separate building from the debate venue.


Retarded is a great word! I say use the shit out of that bitch!
I mean, it’s just like fuck [fave], bitch [ultrafave], boob, kicks, dig, buzz, gank and so many other fantabulous phrasiological forms because it, too, can wear many hats!


It can be used as an adjective to describe Rush Limbaugh a person who is retarded.
It can be used as a noun to describe a group of people who are Republican retarded.
It can also as a verb to describe something that is hindering progress – which, if you really think about it kiddies, could apply to the statements from either Emanuel or Carney.

But wait. There’s more!

Retarded is also widely used in everyday life by everyday people everyDAY to describe a thing, a person, an object or an action that is a waste of time, bogus, cheesy, dense, empty-headed, flighty, groundless, hopeless, ill-advised, juvenile, kooky, lame, menial, nonsensical, obtuse, pitiful, raunchy, screwy, trifling, unintelligent, vacuous, weak, or yucky.

Yup! It’s a multi-tasker like that. It’s just how it rolls.

M’kay, pumpkins?
We all clear now?

February 5, 2010 at 11:04 am 14 comments

Artistic FAIL

These nasty gnomes are the brainfart of artist Ottmar Hörl, who put 1,250 of them in an installation he calls ‘Dance with the Devil’ on display for the next five days in the central square of a Bavarian town near Munich, Germany.

Hörl had previously created a single, golden Hitler-saluting gnome that folks had tried to have legally removed from an art gallery.

Because Nazi symbols are prohibited in public there.
::: as they should be everywhere :::

The case was later dropped because the grotesque little goblin was apparently meant to be ‘satirical’.

But — and only because there’s no fucking accounting for some folks’ fucked-up fetishes is all I can think of – the whole hobgoblin legal hullaballoo sparked enough ignorant interest in the heinous little beasts that Hörl dreamed up this latest disturbing display.

“As long as I manage to polarize, I’m on the right track,” he said.
::: hmmm … and here I always thought that was Rush Limbaugh’s signature move … :::

October 15, 2009 at 10:08 am 2 comments

Don’t lie

You’ve felt it too …

(turn it up)

Now we just have to wait for the AYFKM button …

August 19, 2009 at 10:18 am 2 comments


This amuses me.
How I didn’t know about this before is beyond me — but it amuses me still.

See, years ago, townsfolk in Kingsville, Texas brought the Heck Naw to the gold standard of worldwide welcomes and replaced that bitch with 100% dumbfuck.

At the urging of some twit named Leonso Canales Jr. — who got his britches in a big ol’ bunch over the ‘hell’ in ‘hello’ — commissioners went full retard and unanimously designated “heaven-o” as the county’s official greeting.

Those twats even passed a resolution on that mess – resolving to not just adopt nutsack’s “universal greeting” [WTF?] “as the official greeting of Kleberg County and a symbol of peace, friendship, and welcome” but also to commend his “positive approach … and dedication to the community.” 

And I get it.
I mean, ok — so dude wanted to do something positive.
pozactS’cool. I’m down.

Soooo why not pass a resolution on the positive effects of volunteering in the community and requiring everyone do volunteer at least 2 hours every week?
And what about a resolution about the positive outcome recycling has on the community and give everyone new bins to help the effort?
Or how about a resolution about the positivity of literacy and how everyone is invited to free reading seminars and book club meetings at the local library?

Because none of that shit invokes PURE EVIL like the dreaded hello!

Which is sad because that must mean the rez translated to other words that summon Satan simply by being said.

You know, like I bet it’s stressful in ol’ Kingsville now that everyone has to know everything about everything all the time since no one is allowed to be shellshocked anymore.

And I’m sure it’s got to be more than a little restrictive for the local football team to want to win REAL bad … but not be permitted get hellbent on the idea.

And you gotta know you are just twenty kinds of screwed if you’re in a rush and someone starts blah blah-ing to you about this shit or that crap or some other mess because now they have free reign to just drone on and on and on and on and on since no one’s allowed to put it in a nutshell anymore.


But hey — at least no one in Kingsville lives in a hellhole and I bet everyone there is all relaxed and peaceful-like now that the peeps aren’t permitted to walk on eggshells.

Too bad about Shelly though.
I bet her friends really miss her …

June 12, 2009 at 2:48 pm 3 comments

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