Posts tagged ‘prostitution’

Bring that hooker line and they’ll sink ya


So the Washington po po are all ‘prostitutin free zone’ for the inauguration‘ and I’m all ‘but now how am I supposed to pay for my trip?!?’

This puts a serious crimp in my plans, people!

District police have put signs up and down 5th and I Streets that read, “Warning, Prostitution Free Zone.” And anyone caught hookin’ it could be fined two BJs, a LipDip and an All Aboard 300 dollars — and possibly even jailed.
::: fuckers … HAHAHAHA not next week!!!! :::

But — like any good Washington-based legal thingamabob … there’s a loophole!
::: SURPRISE!!! :::

DC City Councilman Jim Graham said the signs are being used because officers cannot enforce loitering laws.

“Because this is focused, its limited in time, its aimed at a very specific issue, if you don’t move along, we’ll put you in the car,” he said.

Gotcha *wink*
… but you know that costs extra, right?

January 18, 2009 at 3:02 pm 2 comments

Would you hit it?


80594388059357

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

‘Cuz someone did … someone paid for these bitches … more than once …

But, you know, I get it.

I do!
As I sit here feasting my eyes upon these two glorious rays of perky, sunshiny femininity I’m overcome with verklemptitudination because Itchy and Scratchy personify the drive, the guts, the sticktoitiveness of American entrepreneurship that keeps this great country of ours moving toward a bright new day of perfection and bliss and unadulterated glee that will enab … uhh … umm … what was I sayi …

Oy gevalt, I’m paying homage to hookers?!?!? 
… fuckin’ meds …

December 20, 2008 at 3:23 pm 8 comments

Eliot Spitzer: Working Stiff


Today is the dawn of an awesome new day for former New York Governor,  Hall of Fame Whoremonger and all around manslut Eliot Spitzer.

The Luv Gov is straight up gettin’ paid, y’all!

No, he didn’t write a tell-all; he isn’t wranglin’ ho’s down at the Bunny Ranch and he’s not designing a line of creatively comfortable bondage briefs … yet.

Starting today, Spitz will be hard at work pimping his thoughts on government, regulation and finance for a bi-weekly column on Slate.com.
::: I wonder who gets to massage that copy!?! :::

“It’ll be heavily about the financial crisis and fixing financial markets and the economy generally,” confirmed Jacob Weisberg, editor-in-chief of the Slate Group.
::: Hey – maybe it’ll be good. I mean, if there’s one thing Spitz knows it’s how to appropriate funds! :::

The idea for the column – called ‘The Best Policy’ – came after Slate honchos spied a tasty Op-Ed piece Mistah Luvah wrote last month for The Washington Post that stimulated a deep desire for the hot slut in a big ol’ way.

“We called him about writing for us,” said Weisberg, who admitted the pub and the gub had themselves a quickie right then and there.

“It was not an epic negotiation. He was very receptive to the idea.”

And, you know, I just don’t doubt it at all.
I’ve heard he likes to receive …

Keep it between the margins, El!

December 4, 2008 at 2:51 pm 7 comments

It’s good to be Eliot Spitzer


Former New York Governor and Hall of Fame Whoremonger Eliot Spitzer will not face criminal charges for gettin’ his freak on with Ashley Depraved and some other high-priced hookers, federal prosecutors announced this week.
::: Everybody to the champagne room – STAT! ::: 

Michael J. Garcia, the United States attorney in Manhattan, confirmed that, although his office had found that “on multiple occasions, Mr. Spitzer arranged for women to travel from one state to another state to engage in prostitution” they couldn’t prove it was taxpayer money or campaign cash payin’ for that poontang.
::: See, it’s not that prostitution is illegal, per se — it’s the way you PAY for it that’s the crimey part. Good to know!! ::: 

“We have determined that there is insufficient evidence to bring charges against Mr. Spitzer. In light of the policy of the Department of Justice with respect to prostitution offenses and the longstanding practice of this office, as well as Mr. Spitzer’s acceptance of responsibility for his conduct, we have concluded that the public interest would not be further advanced by filing criminal charges in this matter.”
::: So does that mean all Johns who get bizzay on their own bucks get to go free too — as long as they get all boo hoo and are really, really sorry?  :::

Moments after Little Spitz was released from legal lockdown, Big Spitz thanked officials for their “impartiality and thoroughness” and reminded us all that he’s still really, really sorry for his horndoggery.

“I resigned my position as governor because I recognized that conduct was unworthy of an elected official. I once again apologize for my actions and for the pain and disappointment those actions caused my family and the many people who supported me during my career in public life.”

Anyone wanna do an over/under on when the sex tape comes out?

November 7, 2008 at 3:16 pm 2 comments


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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