Posts tagged ‘present’

The Fuggie


Come ON America!

You can do better than this!!

The country that rightly celebrates the majesty of college football, the moxie of manipulations to electoral process and the mastery of military might canNOT be the same country that has so clearly sunk to subterranean sickness by making that wretched remnant we all know as the Snuggie(TM) the number one holiday gift this year.

And yet *sigh* it is.

“The product’s fun, useful nature combined with its affordable price make the Snuggie(TM) blanket the perfect holiday gift,” blah blah’d Anne Flynn – Allstar Products Group’s HBIC of Marketing.

So perfect, in fact, that shoppers are being warned – WARNED I SAY – to rush rush and slap their cash monies down on the fug rug no later than December 11 [THAT’S TOMORROW BITCHES!!!] if you really want to insult Aunt Kay properly on Christmas morning.

Oh but don’t worry fellas, Allstar hasn’t cut YOU out of the gotta have it category when it comes to this grotesque garmant. No sir!

In the wake of Black Friday and Cyber Monday, some new Snuggie(TM) styles and colors are selling out quickly, PR Newswire reports. To keep up with the high consumer demand, Allstar has introduced even more eye-offending prints and colors including:
Camouflage!
::: perfect for tree-stand snuggle times :::

Tie Dye!
::: great when the ganga’s too strong :::

And Black and Purple!
::: wonderf … wait – they didn’t offer that shit originally?! ACK! :::

So if you are one of the apparent millions of Americans with no style, taste or creativity this holiday season, get your orders in NOW because nearly all of the current Snuggie(TM) colors and designs will be discontinued after this season.
::: Oh thank God … there IS a Santa Claus! :::

SOURCE

December 10, 2009 at 2:59 am 6 comments

A beautiful day in the neighborhood?


A 38-year-old convicted sex offender —>
from Sheboygan, Wisconsin no longer needs to worry about Santa’s ‘little elves’ being able to find him this Christmas.

That’s because the Sheboygan Common Council’s Public Protection and Safety Committee voted unanimously to let …

::: wait for it :::

Pheuk Kue
live in a transitional living facility in the 900 block of Michigan Avenue, when he’s released from prison December 20.
::: woo hoo … the more the merrier, right?? :::

I bet he gets a gift-wrapped basket of Phuek Off from the neighbors …

SOURCE

December 11, 2008 at 9:38 pm 11 comments



Creative Commons License
Lifeisacookie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.


%d bloggers like this: