Posts tagged ‘pregnancy’

The family way?

This is some sinister shit, yo!

imlerA 46-year-old Pennsylvania whackjob
 is in the chokey, charged with trying to kill the fetus of a 17-year-old girl.

But that’s not even the worst part, see, ‘cuz he wasn’t the doer.

Scaryeyes was helping two teenage nitwits get their homicide on by lending a hand as those hos put an abortioninducing horse, pig and cow hormone in her drink.
::: I bet it tasted like chicken … :::

Police say the girl’s 16-year-old babydaddy and a 17-year-old baka “stole the drug and a syringe from a local farm and added a ‘drop’ ” to a bottle of Gatorade. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb then delivered the deadly drink to the girl, who drank it.

A couple of 60’s later, another acquaintance got all ‘HAHAHAHA – you just drank POISON, bitch!’ – which is when the girl made a beeline for the hospital — which is when the whole ‘evidence > suspects > conspiracy > arrest’ chain of events got going.

Jonathan Imler is charged with attempted criminal homicide, aggravated assault of an unborn child, simple assault, recklessly endangering another person, theft by unlawful taking and corruption of minors.
::: when they get to his motives — 100 bucks says love of young peen’s in there somewhere :::

Don’t freak — authorities also filed juvenile petitions against the moron twins.

And the upside of all of this?
Oh sure sure – the baby was born all normal and shit so yay and awesome and way to go and all … but the REAL upside is that baby killers are hella popular in the pen!
::: It’s the gift that keeps on giving … every night after last check and lights out!  :::



May 21, 2009 at 4:01 pm 2 comments


A weedy sea dragon at the Georgia Aquarium has something to celebrate this Father’s Day – he’s pregnant!

pregnant weedy sea dragon atlanta aquariumYes … HE.

But getting these dudes knocked-up must be harder than it sounds. The pregnancy is only the third time ever something like this has happened at a U.S. aquarium. (Unless the other guys, umm, you know — took care of it.)

What else makes it such a big deal? The dads carry the eggs in this family.
::: Quick guess says Teleflora puts them in the non-mom category :::

Congrats himbo!

June 13, 2008 at 12:14 am 2 comments

Happy Mother’s Day! Want an abortion?

The bitches at Planned Parenthood have cajones of titanium!

Planned Parenthood advertisementWho else but the world’s biggest provider of pregnancy alternatives would have the balls to make a dash for cash in the name of mom just in time for Sunday’s manufactured maternal lurvefest?!?
Rock on bitches … rock ON!

And the predictable icing on the cake? Watching the pro-lifers get their panties in a BIG OL’  waddy bunch!
Sweet …

The letter — sent by Cecile Richards, president of Planned Parenthood Federation of America (and daughter of former Texas Gov. Ann Richards — an original HBIC if ever there was one) — included parts of an editorial written by her  daughter in an appeal for cash from women’s rights supporters.

“This Mother’s Day, I’m honoring [my mother’s] legacy with a Planned Parenthood Federation of America Mother’s Day gift. Join me. … You can help with a gift to Planned Parenthood Federation of America today in honor of your mother or daughter, and on behalf of all the women,” she wrote.

Shockingly, folks like Janet Morana, Co-Founder of Silent No More Awareness Campaign, took issue with Richards’ missive!
OMG, right?!?
::: I’d link to their site, but I’m getting a DNS error — looks like it was, ummm, aborted … :::

“This is an organization that has turned Mother’s Day into a painful reminder of terminated children for millions and millions of women.  To ask for money on this day so that it can traumatize even more women is the ultimate in insensitivity.”

Note to Morana: The women you speak of voluntarily  went and paid to have this hard-won, legal procedure performed. Some regret it now, others don’t (I feel that way about a Miata I used to drive).
It’s called an option. Options are nifty!!

I mean, my mom had a choice and she opted to have me, which has worked out pretty well for me and all … but what if she had decided not to – for whatever reason … huh? What then?
Would Morana’s minions and the other God-fearin’ Bible-thumpers with the ‘Abortion stops a beating heart’ bumper stickers on their breedermobiles label my sainted mother a murderer or child killer or some bad thing like that?!?

Nah, they’d never stoop to that judgmental type of ill-informed crazy … it’s so un-churchy and all …

Happy Mother’s Day, mom! I’d choose you too 🙂

May 9, 2008 at 3:29 pm 6 comments

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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