Posts tagged ‘pork’

A moveable feast


NETHERLANDS MUSIC CONCERTI did it!
<——- It took me long enough, but I figured out what the frickfrackFUCK that thing IS on Beyoncé’s boo-tay!
::: curtsey :::

IT’S A BACON CINNAMON ROLL!!!

i2dw5nf19k30brw7gTu9BQlvo1_500Because, of course!
It’s just so obvious — I can’t believe I didn’t recognize it immediately!
::: Note to self: Boozy times may be adversely affecting cognitive abilities :::

I’m thinking I might have misjudged the Mighty
B(aconbutt).
She may just be the smartest whore in Hollywood!

Not only does she understand the intrinsic value of  edible clothing but that bitch wore her wisdom for all the world when she hauled her nasties around in what would have just been a glitterated shit-colored body suit had it not been for that ass-pleasing bacon chaser!
::: PORKILICIOUS!! :::

Now we just need to find out what tasty treats she’s keeping tucked underneath that lace front wig. All that extra glue’s got me thinking one thing: Deep-fried S’mores!

Beyonce loves her fake hair

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May 18, 2009 at 2:31 pm 2 comments

No pay no stay


It’s just all-out hostility against the hobos and the poors these days!

Even after getting serious stimulus money, states are still cutting jobs, bull-dozing benefits and — as of this month — one city (NYC) will begin charging rent to working families staying in public homeless shelters.
::: What’s next?!? Tipping the breadline soup scooper??? :::

This latest societal bitchslap to the bereft is made possible by a 1997 state law allowing shelter managers to force flat-broke fams to fork over a portion of their income, depending on the shelter and family size.

For some of the strapped, this could mean handing over up to half their earnings.

PHILANTHROPY
FAIL!!!
(for serious!!!!)

How is a family supposed to save enough to get out of the shelter when they’re coughing up more than 50% of their take-home cash to the shelter?

Huh?
HUH, MR. GUY IN CHARGE?!?
::: rhetorical question, Bub — no one believes you care … :::

“I think it’s hard to argue that families that can contribute to their shelter cost shouldn’t,” commented one callous commish. “I don’t see this playing out in an adverse way.”

Really?
You sure about that??

Because I’m thinking that a state that eagerly earmarks

  • $2,500 for the Doll and Toy Museum of New York City
  • $2,500 for the Brooklyn Cricket League
  • $6,000 for the Harlem Honeys and Bears senior citizen swim team
  • $6,500 for the Utica Curling Club
  • $10,500 for the American Association for the Improvement of Boxing
    and
  • $15,000 for the Urban Yoga Foundation
    – would probably enjoy some pretty sweet PR if it found a way to pinch off a few pennies for the penniless, right?
  • Right?!?

     I hope so, ‘cuz you gotta know it would take a ginormous truckload of NOTHIN’ for me to instigate an uprising of the impovrished when I visit New York in two weeks!

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    May 12, 2009 at 3:51 pm 6 comments

    Pontificatin’ & Plannifyin’


    I’ve been doing some super-cranial calisthenics in an effort to wrap my peabrain around the cries of convoluted coherence and perceived puffed-up pay-outery woven deep into the fabric of my boyfriend‘s massive stimulus package of distributive distraction.
    ::: frealz, yo — the Cookster’s give OUT! :::

     I’ve been reading the version of the American Recovery and Reinvestment readingisrad1Act of 2009 that was sent to the Senate yesterday and I’ve been reading the very interesting alternative START plan from Rep. Walt Minnick (D- Idaho) and I’ve been listening to pundits and teevee sprayheads on virtually every channel give praise to, complain about, ridicule and otherwise provide their own personal commentary on ‘the plan’ …

    … and somewhere outside of all the reading but inside of all the blah blah it became kind of embarassingly aggravatingly painfully clear that most of the voices chiming in should probably just shut it already.
    ::: I’m not naming names, but their initials are ‘Everyone At NBCABCCBSFOXMSNBC & SomeNewspaperColumnistsDesperatelyTryingToStayRelevant’ … :::

    Pet Projects! Exorbitant Pricetags!! Pork PORK PORK!!!
    ::: OH MY! :::

    Yupperonie — the gang’s all there!
    But in this New Great Depression, the salient point just may be that one man’s pork is another man’s PAYCHECK.
    ::: IJS :::

    David Leonhardt of The New York Times writes a compelling and exceptionally well researched piece in the February 1 Magazine that, among other things, reminds “Employing people to dig ditches and fill them up again would qualify … Pork and stimulus aren’t mutually exclusive.”

    The plan includes money for rural agriculture programs and for the expansion of the Child Nutrition Act of 1966; money for anti-smoking programs and for the refurbishment of national museums.

    There’s money for road construction, bridge work, military housing, law enforcement, energy, natural resources, community development, national security and a whole superhaulin’ truckload of other things.
    ::: OH MY! :::

    Bob Barr (the AJC’s resident blowhard) calls PORK! on the $75,000,000 for `Facilities Capital’ at the Smithsonian …
    … but conveniently neglects to tell the reader the the money is “for deferred maintenance projects, and for repair, revitalization, and alteration of facilities owned or occupied by the Smithsonian Institution” …
    whiiich is billspeak for construction, plumbing, electrical work and technological upgrades …
    … and what do we call those nifty things again, kiddies?

    That’s right!
    JOBS!!!
    ::: YAY EMPLOYMENT!!! :::

    Barr and several sprayhead politico wannabes also call PORK! on that anti-smoking provision — buuuut *WOOPSIE* they all leave out those puffbothersome little things called ‘details’ — like the fact that the provision is part of a broader set of initiatives aimed at addressing “chronic and infectious disease rates and health disparities” including “evidence-based interventions in obesity, diabetes, heart disease, cancer, tobacco cessation and smoking prevention, and oral health.”
    You know — all that pesky preventable shit that drives up health care premiums and actual care costs almost exponentially every year as we become fatter … and sicker … and poorer.

    Oh but hey, what are you gonna do?
    Read the bill to find out if they’re telling you the truth?!?
    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    Nah …
    …  but I did!
    ::: I’m one cross-eyed, sleep-deprived, headachy ho because of it … but at least I’m an informed ho!! :::

    My thought was –  before I open my yap and spew forth vitriol against something I have only a surface understanding of – I might be better served by reading, factifying and performing my own  super serious researchification … and then I can open my yap and spew forth vitriol!
    ::: RADICAL! :::

    Except that once I’d started reading … and reading … and reading —  I didn’t want to channel my inner acrimony. I wanted to read more!
    ::: … and sleep … :::

    I mean, sure – we can all continue to stand around and bitch and moan about the pricetag of the plan and point fingers without ever digging deeper or really knowing anything about any of the shit we’re bitching and moaning and pointing fingers about — and we’ll feel justified this time because of the colossally disastrous way the bailout bill was handled because that makes our cries of ‘NOT AGAIN’ seem valid …

    … except they aren’t.
    Because it is different.
    Because it’s not just spending for spending’s sake (you listening TARPers?!?).
    Because it’s growth.

    And “growth is the only way for a government to pay off its debts in a relatively quick and painless fashion, allowing tax revenues to increase without tax rates having to rise.”

    And before you (and you know who you are!) come at me with crap about who it came from — don’t disagree just to disagree or because you don’t like the backing or you don’t agree 100% with everything you ‘heard’ was in there — read.
    All you can.
    ::: … I think it’s kind of, like, a civic duty or some shit … :::

    History — especially post-World War II economic history — is the bombest bitch, dawgs!!

    Check it if you can … just don’t blame me for your Visene addiction!

    Gat DAM this box is high up!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Throughout the nation men and women, forgotten in the political philosophy of the Government, look to us here for guidance and for more equitable opportunity to share in the distribution of national wealth … I pledge myself to a political campaign. It is a call to arms.”
    —- Franklin D. Roosevelt

    February 11, 2009 at 6:18 pm 14 comments


    This is the shit you bitches are reading


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