Posts tagged ‘poor’

Patience, panhandlers!


It’s (almost) time to get happy, hobos because there’s a superserious respectable labor economist-type thinker out there projecting there will be more jobs than people to fill them in the United States by 2018.

USA! USA!!

That’s right breadliners!
You are free to now fully embrace your unemployability and savor that soup kitchen flavor ‘cuz salvation is a mere 2,920 days away!!!

WOO HOOO!!!

In his positively atrociously titled report (After the Recovery: Help Needed – The Coming Labor Shortage and How People in Encore Careers Can Help Solve It), equally atrociously titled Barry Bluestone, Dean of the School of Public Policy and Urban Affairs at Northeastern University, forecasts that within the next eight years there could be at least 5 million potential job vacancies in the United States.

YAY!

And nearly half of them (2.4 million) in social sector jobs in education, health care, government and nonprofit organizations …

WOWEE!!

… assuming a return to healthy economic growth and no change in immigration or labor force participation rates, that is.

Wait.
Did he sneak in an ‘assuming’ in there?

“If the baby boom generation retires from the labor force at the same rate and age as current older workers, the baby bust generation that follows will likely be too small to fill many of the projected new jobs.”

Wait.
Did I sniff an ‘if’?

I did!

‘Assume’ + ‘If’ = UNCERTAINTY!!!

NOOOOOOoooooooo!!!!!!!

Ohh, but hang on there bums – there is a silverlining to Mr. Smartypants’ analysis.

His report is one of four released this week by MetLife Foundation and Civic Ventures, a think tank on baby boomers, work and social purpose. And all four soboringifyouhaveinsomniayou’llbeasleepinnotime reports come to the same conclusion:
Workers over 55 will be vital to meeting work force shortages.

So, see?
Good news!

Long about the time your retirement savings run out and you’ve surrendered or sold most of your assets to feed the members of your extended family and their families who had to move in with you just to get through the New Great Depression ™ – you’ll get to go back to work!

yay?

SOURCE

March 25, 2010 at 10:13 am

No. Sleep. ‘Till. BROOKLYN!


Y’all know I don’t really ‘do’ follow-ups, but since I also don’t really ‘do’ rules or structure or anything resembling something one would consider organized in any way whatsoever – I can ‘do’ whatever I want!
::: yes, it’s great to be me :::

Remember when the NYC powers that be went all ‘full bag of ass’ on the homeless recently?
Well, take a seat kids because those gub’mint windbags found some pity for the poors and are now baby-steppin’ toward benevolence!

Big Apple big shots are backing agreements to house homeless families in unsold luxury condos in Brooklyn.

The apartments are in the in Crown Heights section, have amenities that include granite countertops, terraces, marble bathrooms and walk-in closets and were supposed to sell for $250,000 to $350,000 … you know, back in the olden times when people actually had cool shit like cash monies and credit so they could BUY a place of their own …
::: mem-reez … light the corners of my mind … :::

But times are hard and pretty much every third person on the planet is out of work, out of luck and out on the street — so hobo housing is where it’s at!

The city is paying about $2,700 a month for each apartment, which includes awesomeness like social services and job counseling.

This is goodness — straight UP!

And you asshats who try to get your comment on and go all ‘Get a job, ya bums’ with your high-and-mightiness?
Step back, get a clue and REKONIZE that homelessness is a national problem that’s growing to epidemic proportions due to the economy, foreclosures, the economy, job losses, the economy and so on AND that one in every 50 children in our fair land will be homeless at some point.

So those ‘lazy fucking bums’ you’re always bitching about?
Ya, they don’t even rank in the top 100 anymore, ‘kay judgmentals?

THIS is goodness. This is a start …

SOURCE

June 4, 2009 at 3:29 pm 2 comments

Big Brother IS watching!


Good news, breadliners!

Your government cares about you!

Well, ok. Maybe not you, Mr. L.A. Dude who offed your whole family govmybadlast year over your mounting financial mess.
Or you, Mr. Ohio Guy who was so worried about money that X-ing out the fam was, apparently, the only option.
And, ok, not you, Mr. Pennsylvania Businessman who’s fiscal failures led to things gettin’ all shooty with the missus.
And, well uh, if we’re being honest —  you either, Mr. San Fran Skin-Care Clinic owner who mistook your lagging sales as a sign it was time to liquidate your loved ones …  

… but for the rest of you sad sacks out there not yet driven to do in those dearest to you – your government wants you to know it cares about you!

It does!
They even set up a super special website to prove it!!

govheroGetting Through Tough Economic Times” — an inadequately-titled guide intended to provide “practical advice on how to deal with the effects financial difficulties can have on your physical and mental health” — launched in the wee hours overnight.
::: … guess no one liked the more aptly-titled ‘How To Deal When Your World’s Gone To Shit’ … :::

On this little corner of the interwebs, the feds will educate your impovrished ass about depression, suicidal thinking and other mental illnesses.
::: Because who knows better about depression and suicidal thinking than government workers, right? :::

govnokillIt lays out the warning flags for: Persistent sadness/crying; Excessive anxiety; Lack of sleep/constant fatigue; Excessive irritability/anger. 
::: Oh. Those aren’t just regular conditions of life now? :::

So, if you’re unsure whether your spouse has slaughter in his/her heart?
If you’re worried that crushing debt is making the one you hold dear consider dumping your dead body in a ditch??
If you’re concerned that paying the bills has poisoned your partner against you???

Don’t take matters into your own ignorant hands!
Consult Uncle Sam – your hard times BFF!

SOURCE

March 31, 2009 at 1:23 pm 1 comment

Edumakashun!


Hottie smartypants Jonathan Jarvis provides, perhaps, the best and most succinct explanation of the credit crisis I’ve heard yet! What do you think?

March 1, 2009 at 7:46 pm 3 comments

Standards for Poors?


I have a way cool diversion for any of the four of you not idling away this New Great Depression by spending your days panhandling for pennies or standing in bread lines: POLI-TOPO PAUPER FUN!!

The clever tallymasters over at the Sargent Shriver National Center on Poverty Law have added up the way every member of Congress voted on every bill that had anything to do in even the mostest remotest of ways with fighting that little nuisance we call daily life poverty.
::: NEATO! :::

Unfortunately, a quick check of the Sunshine State reveals some not-so-sunny news for our state’s hobo and vagabond collective: More than half of the richies repping them in Congress have consistently voted against pretty much any and all measures that might have meant any kind of meaningful movement on the povery front.
::: Take note, freeloaders!! :::

Tramps and beggars in my home state of Alabama faired slightly better – they at least had actual Republican-type personages who occasionally threw a Yes vote behind legislation for the poors.
::: Mike Rogers — you ol’ switch-hitter you!! :::

And what about your state??

As you watch your bank account sink further into the red – would you like to know just how little you can expect from your own lawmakers ?

Well this is your lucky day then, you needy bastards!
Just click here to rate your state!

Now go get a job, ya bums!

February 20, 2009 at 5:19 pm 9 comments

Felonious free-for-all?


So the New Great Depression is kind of a bummer for most folks, what with losing their jobs, their houses, their entire life savings, their health care, their identity and their self-respect and all …

… but do you know who it’s good for?

FELONS, that’s who!
:::  … always two sides … ::: 

With state budgets in Defcon 5 panic mode – governors, legislators and prison officials across the country are rethinking that whole ‘justice for all’ concept and making policy changes that would put Big Stan, The Ox and Lester the Child Molester back on your block aaaaany time now.
::: Get the Welcome Wagon ready! ::: 

Prior to this fiscal crisis, legislators could tinker around the edges – but we’re now well past the tinkering stage,” said Marc Mauer, executive director of the Sentencing Project, which advocates alternatives to incarceration.
::: Putting the hood back in your ‘hood one day at a time! :::

“Many political leaders who weren’t comfortable enough, politically, to do it before can now,” he said
::: ‘I’m sorry Parolee # 286998 hacked your family to death — but think of the money you’ll save on tuition! :::

TOOT TOOOT!!!
All aboard the freedom train!

Virginia Governor Tim Kaine is proposing early release of about 1,000 inmates.
::: Thugtastic! :::

New York Governor David Paterson wants early release for 1,600 inmates.
::: Shankerific! :::

And Kentucky recently implemented a ‘temporary’ cost-cutting program that’s given early release to nearly 2,000 inmates … including murderers and other violent offenders!
::: ‘cuz why should child-touchers and embezzlers have all the fun! :::

“There’s a new openness to taking a look,” said Michigan Senator Alan Cropsey, a Republican who in the past has questioned prison-reform proposals but — now that everyone can blame everything on the economy — isn’t gonna waste precious time thinkinating and solutionizing.

And who would?
Pansy ass liberals – that’s who!

Wussy hippie alarmists — like Thomas Sneddon, executive director of the National District Attorneys Association — are all ‘uhh, maybe there’s a better way guys???’

“I don’t think the public at large has any idea of who’s in these prisons,” he whined. “If they went and visited, they’d say ‘My God, don’t let any of these people out.'”

Actually, it’d be more like ‘ OH HOLY FUCKING SHIT! He’s in for WHAT?!?’
But who cares! A penny saved, right? 

Cue BCO share takeoff in 3 … 2 …

SOURCE

January 10, 2009 at 11:21 pm 17 comments

In case you didn’t know


As of this morning, Christmas is, like, in 12 days … 
::: fa la la la, bitches! ::: 

 

That doesn’t leave a lot of time to deplete your savings and do your part to stave off this New Great Depression.

So have you been a good little boy or girl and stimulated the ‘conomy by bustin’ your kid’s piggy bank to buy yourself a Blu-Ray?

No pressure and all but time’s running out, you know. Tick Tock!

What’s his Jolly Fatness bringing you this year?

December 14, 2008 at 3:54 pm 7 comments

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