Posts tagged ‘pooper scooper’

Mr. Cookie APPROVED!

When Mr. Cookie and I go for walks through our neighborhood we routinely pass pet owners guiding leashed dogs along their morning/evening stroll.

And we used to do the same thing with our most perfect dog in the world EVER before he moved to the great dog-walk in the sky two years ago.

Except we did it with a pooper-scooper.
A really cool spring-loaded one that made it easy to handle the business end of the canine constitutional.

Not so much with most of the poopers we pass these days.

Coming across random caca at the crosswalk has become common.
Detecting deposited dung is now just part of the drill.

And hey — when ya gotta go ya gotta go and all — but how hard is it really to manage that mess?

Apparently harder for some than others — and the poopetrators in my neighborhood aren’t alone.

According to Tennessee-based BioPet Vet Lab, 40 percent of dog owners don’t pick up Products of Uranus. With 75 million dogs in the U.S., that adds up to 15 million un-scooped poops — that is if Mr. Preshuss only makes mud bunnies once a day.

And in Baltimore – there exists an excretor so egregious that the Scarlett Place condo board is proposing DNA testing on all canines in the complex just to get control of the crap!

“We pay all this money, and we’re walking around stepping in dog poop,” said resident Steven Frans, who is clearly tired of random chocolate kisses. “We bring guests over and this is what they’re greeted by.”

If the pooposal passes, dog owners would pay $50 per pup, covering the costs of tests and supplies, and an additional $10 per month for the cost of having building staff scoop the poop. Scarlett Place staff would then send the samples to a Tennessee-based company called BioPet Vet Lab.

Using all the dog swabs, BioPet would create a doggie doo database. The samples would be used to identify the the dastardly depositer who left the colon cookies and the owner would have to pay a $500 fine.


Kinda makes that spring-loaded googe-grabber look good right about now, eh? $15.99 … in stores now!



May 20, 2010 at 1:41 pm 25 comments

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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