Posts tagged ‘photography’

My gift to you


Someone asked me recently if I had a ‘little trick’ to keep myself positive during tough times.

I do … and it’s not just booze what you think.

It’s Jesus Kitty.

Jesus Kitty is my salvation.
Jesus Kitty brings me peace.
Jesus Kitty makes me want to be a better person.

Behold the true prophet of the universe and drink in his wondrous glory, bitches!!
———————>

In a world of CATastrophic stupidity, massive oil spills, terror scares, earthquakes, floods, senseless violence and other shit that ain’t right — I’m glad to know I can count on Jesus Kitty to be there for me, to watch over me and guide me to the path of righteousness and light.

And now you can be too …
Don’t say I never do anything for you people!

May 6, 2010 at 12:39 pm 3 comments

What SHE said


Free-speech fuckery!!

The valedictorian of Springstead High School in lurrrvly Spring Hill, Florida penned herself a positively whimsical, witty and wholly entertaining jemlugovaledictorian speech and was feeling several kinds of justifiably wonderful about her word choices — until a couple of intellectual inbreds brought the hell naw and commanded a rewrite.

“I was shocked,” Jem Lugo said. “It’s not what I had expected.”

Not what she expected because she’d written a speech she felt honored her class and gave them something special. Was it a little ‘Inside Baseball’? Maybe — but if the audience gets it isn’t that, you know, like THE POINT?!?

She sent copies to some students and got positive feedback.
“[They] enjoyed my speech. They got the inside jokes. They connected with it.”

And with that you’d think the super-speech trifecta would be in play.
You’d be wrong.

“The valedictorian speech is a reflection over the past four years of a student’s life,” Principal Susan Duval said. “It’s about what direction the class is going in the future.”
::: Really? And, now just where would I find the stone that’s written on?? :::

She called Lugo a “very bright young lady with a bright future,” [Ed Note: Umm helloooooo – THAT is a given – that hot slut’s HARVARD-bound!] but said the race for valedictorian was “very tight.”
::: *sniff* do I smell a thinly-veiled threat? :::

“A lot of kids could’ve been up there speaking,” she said.
::: *sniff  SNIFF * :::

Lugo recalled a faculty advisor telling her that if she didn’t write a more appropriate speech, someone else would be chosen.
::: *SNIFF* hold the ‘thinly-veiled’ :::

Superintendent Wayne Alexander admitted he hadn’t actually, you know, like read the speech or anything, but said the school was justified in strong-arming its star student into rewriting it.
::: Teach the children – teach them well … to fucking do what their fucking told …:::

“I can see the inappropriateness of such a speech,” he said after a portion was read to him over the phone. “I can see that clearly … Graduation is a significant day in the lives of students and their families. It should be treated with the respect and significance it deserves.”
::: Actually, it’s mostly a day for opening cards stuffed with money from relatives and an evening of underage partying … but maybe that was just my experience??? :::

So did she go with her original speech or did she cave to The Man and read a rewrite at last night’s commencement ceremonies??
::: Enquiring minds wanna know! :::

She caved.
I haz sadz …

She went down – but at least she went down swinging — in the only way a high school senior not yet aware of her real power can.
She felt the words she was forced to write amounted to nothing more than a textbook speech — so she gave it a textbook reading.
::: she did manage to get in some verbal jabs –  the kid’s got promise, yo! :::

“The most important thing that I could think to tell you tonight is to remember where you came from,” she told her classmates. “Stay true to who you are and who you have become throughout the past four years. Do not conform your values or your personality for the sake of anyone else’s … Do not relinquish your individuality to correspond with the common standard.”

She should know …

(Thanks for the heads up on this one TW!!)

SOURCE

June 5, 2009 at 12:10 pm 10 comments

I have probs


The Sunday New York Times‘ lede story was about widespread protests after an American missile attack in Pakistan killed a pro-Al-Qaeda British militant — which is all serious and newsy and exactly what you expect from the venerable Gray Lady and so I settled into a deep chair, coffee at the ready, completely prepared for a squinty-eyed, pressed-lipped, totally contemplative read.

Then I saw the lede photo:
23rauf-600

And all I could think of after that was:

TOUCHDOWWWWNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

… ahh Sundays …

Photo: Muhammad Iqbal/Associated Press

November 24, 2008 at 11:35 am 1 comment

Sarah Palin is Vice-President of loungechairs!


large-msg-122671383782large-msg-122669372725Disappointed she couldn’t see Cuba from her Miami hotel balcony, the Alaskan Hotness took time out from her hectic schedule of birthin’ babies, buying couture, being all mavericky and showing up basically everyone else who attended last week’s Republican Governor’s Association meeting to get her tan on … oh, and plot the Palin World Domination 2012 tour.

Don’t be fooled by the lack of hair product! Her Supreme Snowyness is totally clocked-in, solutionizing all the complicatedly complex problematic stuff facing the fine folks of the great energy producing state of Alaska.
::: big red dog, Big Red Dog — keep an eye on that BIG RED DOG!!! :::

I bet there’s all kinds of hush-hush, top-secrety type stuff in what appears to be a $1,500 Balenciaga ‘Weekender’ handbag oh so casually thrown to the end of the chaise.

spchampMmm hmmmm … yuppers. Totally  worki .. uh … wha … is that … champagne??

… ACK! … feel dizzy … mouth dry … light heade … uhh what’s happeni …

Oooooooooo I think I need a gravity check. I am suddenly feeling all … tingly for this woman!

I mean, except for the whole no-coherent-thought-wannabe-world-leader-darn-tootin’-hockey-mom-pay-no-attention-to-the-man-behind-the-curtain-I-may-look-purty-but-am-really-really-REALLY-stupid thingamabobanstuff – we are soooo much alike!

She understands the benefits of ditching work to lay out.
::: sooooo important! :::
She sees value in ridiculously overpriced accessories billed to Mr. Notmybankaccount.
::: CRUCIAL! :::
And she has a firm grasp on what is the absolute quickest way to my pinko commie liberal bleeding heart … BOOZE!!!
::: we are one :::

*sniff — I totally  her right now!

SOURCE

November 18, 2008 at 5:02 pm 1 comment

Morning hee hee


Because – why not!

Thanks Dayna!

October 28, 2008 at 12:16 pm 2 comments

Dangerous Territory


C’mon Big Mac! I’ve made no secret that I’m ALL for you and The Alaskan Hotness sexing up the campaign — but let’s be careful here!

Everyone knows that when Republicans [Mark Foley] and topless young boys [Mark Foley] get together it rarely ends well [Mark Foley]

Ever notice how MAVERICK and MANSDICK have the same number of letters?
::: hehe … yes, I am three :::

PHOTO

October 22, 2008 at 7:59 pm

Admit it …


You see it.
The only question left is … why?

October 17, 2008 at 1:28 pm 1 comment

Older Posts


This is the shit you bitches are reading


Creative Commons License
Lifeisacookie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.


%d bloggers like this: