Posts tagged ‘Paris Hilton’

Disney daze gone bye


Disney cash cowette Mylie Cyrus and her pimp daddy Billy Ray are all kinds of fed up with the Mouse House and want to move on to greener pastures, like, NOW.

TMZ.com ‘spies’ on the Hannah Montannah set report that “Miley has bragged that she will get fired, making it clear she wants to focus on singing and not the show”
::: she’s just being Mylie :::

” … Billy Ray has also made it clear that there is more money in singing than a Disney cable show.”
::: Someone read Joe Simpson’s ‘Idiot’s Guide To Whoring Out Your Offspring’ :::

The creepy father-daughter duo has reportedly been showing up to the set ridiculously late, stalling production and infuriating cast and crew.
::: Family Values of the Hick and Famous :::

Cast member Emily Osment (younger sister to underage alky Haley Joel) used to be totally tight with Fakey Breakey’s spawn — but now, with all this drama, she totally wants Billy’s brat off her bff roster.
::: Can’t we all just get along? :::

TMZ says Emily is so bitter she literally turns away from Miley after each scene.
::: HARSH! :::

Folks, this is headed straight for the land of Not Good — where kiddie stars with overblown egos become washed-up haggard skanks who can’t remember their lines, their purpose or their place but can suck down a bottle of Baileys in a single gulp and get all ‘dohn schew knohoo aiyam???’ when some poor gatekeeper brings the hell naw as they try to jump the velvet rope.

Overt greed and inappreciation usually leaves a fanbase cold and I’m sure Disney doesn’t want to see their product reduced to just another overdose-in-training.
::: well, not unless there’s a People cover and some serious cross-promotion involved … :::

So, before wily Mylie’s moneygrubbery makes all that tween cash go *poof*, I think Disney should totally tear up the Cyrus contract  – but only after they sever ties appropriately by giving her character an astoundingly painful and sizzlingly scabrous STD and killing her off in an end-of-season live episode.

Now that’s quality programming for the whole family!

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September 22, 2008 at 5:14 pm 5 comments

Well now that that’s done …


Well butter my buns and call me First Lady!
::: No, really. I’d like it. :::

While Big Mac was reportedly bagging Britney and Paris for a skankerific new campaign ad, the Washington Post decided to just give us the terrorist-sympathizing, fist-jabber president we deserve already.

Woo hoo!! Prom here we come!

July 30, 2008 at 4:20 pm 2 comments


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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