Posts tagged ‘new york city’

No. Sleep. ‘Till. BROOKLYN!


Y’all know I don’t really ‘do’ follow-ups, but since I also don’t really ‘do’ rules or structure or anything resembling something one would consider organized in any way whatsoever – I can ‘do’ whatever I want!
::: yes, it’s great to be me :::

Remember when the NYC powers that be went all ‘full bag of ass’ on the homeless recently?
Well, take a seat kids because those gub’mint windbags found some pity for the poors and are now baby-steppin’ toward benevolence!

Big Apple big shots are backing agreements to house homeless families in unsold luxury condos in Brooklyn.

The apartments are in the in Crown Heights section, have amenities that include granite countertops, terraces, marble bathrooms and walk-in closets and were supposed to sell for $250,000 to $350,000 … you know, back in the olden times when people actually had cool shit like cash monies and credit so they could BUY a place of their own …
::: mem-reez … light the corners of my mind … :::

But times are hard and pretty much every third person on the planet is out of work, out of luck and out on the street — so hobo housing is where it’s at!

The city is paying about $2,700 a month for each apartment, which includes awesomeness like social services and job counseling.

This is goodness — straight UP!

And you asshats who try to get your comment on and go all ‘Get a job, ya bums’ with your high-and-mightiness?
Step back, get a clue and REKONIZE that homelessness is a national problem that’s growing to epidemic proportions due to the economy, foreclosures, the economy, job losses, the economy and so on AND that one in every 50 children in our fair land will be homeless at some point.

So those ‘lazy fucking bums’ you’re always bitching about?
Ya, they don’t even rank in the top 100 anymore, ‘kay judgmentals?

THIS is goodness. This is a start …

SOURCE

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June 4, 2009 at 3:29 pm 2 comments

SOOOOO CLOSE!!!


I was there!
She was there!!
HE WAS THERE!!!

Every ingredient needed for a scrumptious Obama sandwich complete with juicy Cookie filling was there!
But alas … the most fantabulously fantasized ménage à trois ever dreamed about, hoped and wished for … was not to be.

While I was busy getting my Broadway fill of Reasons to be Pretty, Avenue Q and God of Carnage (go fucking see every one of these right fucking NOW!!!) … my boyfriend and the HBIC were one singular solitarily individual day (and just a couple of measly yards) away catching an evening performance of Joe Turner’s Come and Gone.

They even got their eat on over at Blue Hill restaurant!
BLUE HILL RESTAURANT – which is just the other side of Washington Square Park!!
Washington Square Park, people!!!  Which is the teensiest hop, skip and a jump’s distance from Cooper Square!!!!
COOPER SQUARE, BITCHES!! Which is where yours truly (when she wasn’t boozin’ it on Broadway, taking in Times Square or bustin’ her move in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn) was spending groovy graduation times with the next generation’s most bestly truly talenteds!!!

ACK!!!

CURSE YOU MISSED OPPORTUNITY!!!

::: Well, actually curse YOU Secret Service, White House peeps and  political operatives everywhere for  failing to cut a bitch in on the crucial info! :::

SOURCE

June 1, 2009 at 12:29 pm 1 comment

Start spreadin’ the booze!


My much-anticipated super-duper triple-decker über-ballyhooed way-seriously-overly-compound-modifiered trip to the city so nice they named it twice is mere hours away!!!

I cannot wait to not land belly-down in the Hudson and commence with the convivialities!

24-hour Wine Samplings, Organizing Protests, Liquoration, Terror Plots, Drunky Funs and Swine Flu!!!
New York City has it all — and I am gittin’ me some!

Because you brats wreaked total havoc the last time I took a few, I invite you to partake in a little hide-and-seek style scavenger hunt while I get my good time on.
::: oh stop yer whining – it gives your sorry ass something to do while you wait in line at the unemployment office :::

I have employed the most excellent strategerized methodology to scientifically but at random place 10 American flag icons in various, sundry and multitudinous localities throughout this shitass blog.

The first of you bitches to post a comment with the international coordinates of all 10 icons gets a 100%  jen-ew-wine Big Apple Tee.

And the wordwhore who finds the bonus 11th American flag gets an even specialer something.
::: A thousand times super-fabulouser than my freshly packed protective H1N1 face mask!! :::

Reader dropout in 3 … 2 …

May 22, 2009 at 8:26 pm 4 comments

No pay no stay


It’s just all-out hostility against the hobos and the poors these days!

Even after getting serious stimulus money, states are still cutting jobs, bull-dozing benefits and — as of this month — one city (NYC) will begin charging rent to working families staying in public homeless shelters.
::: What’s next?!? Tipping the breadline soup scooper??? :::

This latest societal bitchslap to the bereft is made possible by a 1997 state law allowing shelter managers to force flat-broke fams to fork over a portion of their income, depending on the shelter and family size.

For some of the strapped, this could mean handing over up to half their earnings.

PHILANTHROPY
FAIL!!!
(for serious!!!!)

How is a family supposed to save enough to get out of the shelter when they’re coughing up more than 50% of their take-home cash to the shelter?

Huh?
HUH, MR. GUY IN CHARGE?!?
::: rhetorical question, Bub — no one believes you care … :::

“I think it’s hard to argue that families that can contribute to their shelter cost shouldn’t,” commented one callous commish. “I don’t see this playing out in an adverse way.”

Really?
You sure about that??

Because I’m thinking that a state that eagerly earmarks

  • $2,500 for the Doll and Toy Museum of New York City
  • $2,500 for the Brooklyn Cricket League
  • $6,000 for the Harlem Honeys and Bears senior citizen swim team
  • $6,500 for the Utica Curling Club
  • $10,500 for the American Association for the Improvement of Boxing
    and
  • $15,000 for the Urban Yoga Foundation
    – would probably enjoy some pretty sweet PR if it found a way to pinch off a few pennies for the penniless, right?
  • Right?!?

     I hope so, ‘cuz you gotta know it would take a ginormous truckload of NOTHIN’ for me to instigate an uprising of the impovrished when I visit New York in two weeks!

    SOURCE
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    May 12, 2009 at 3:51 pm 6 comments

    Everybody Panic!


    Oh my god – the end is near!!

    This is bigtime seriousness worthy of multiple exclamation points for maximum emphasis!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Some Google big guns broke out the big-girl panties this week and sent a memo to folks in the New York City office informing them of *GASP* reduced cafeteria hours and **DOUBLE GASP** reduced food selection as part of an effort “to find areas where efficiency can be improved.”

    ACK!
    PHLIK!!
    GWOCK!!
    ::: slow. deep. breaths. :::

    Seriously though – you should panic.
    Now.

    The day you see the big swingin’ dick around town pinchin’ pennies is the day you can pretty much start packing it in.
    That’s it.
    Lights out.
    Don’t let the ‘jobs are next to go’ sign hit you in the ass on your way out.

    Googlers see Mr. Economy over at the bar putting GHB in Miss Advertising’s cosmo as he prepares to butt rape that bitch well into the next presidency and, since they’ve watched their golden stock get a tad tarnished after losing nearly half it’s value this year, the cheeses are running scared.

    They’re derailing the worker-bee gravy train and pulling the plug on some of the perks for which their company is universally famous.

    Afternoon tea on Tuesdays?
    GONE!
    Snack-a-palooza smorgasbord in the micro-kitchen?
    NOT ANYMORE!!
    Free dinner take-out?
    hahahahaha — No.

    Google is also shaving a half-hour off the time the hired help get for breakfast.
    ::: Don’t they know it’s the most important meal of the day?!?!?!  :::

    Morning munchtime has been whittled down to one wimpy hour (down from 90 minutes) … and that’s not all! Lunch and Dinner have been trimmed from 2 hours to 90 minutes.
    ::: quel horreur!!! :::

    Oh but it’s not all bad.
    The brass did toss the little people a bone … they promised the occasional ‘surprise snack attack’ just like their big-boy counterparts get in Google’s Mountain View, California offices.
    ::: a teaspoon of sugar helps the medicine go down … :::

    Employee morale meltdown in 3 … 2 …

    October 30, 2008 at 3:38 pm 1 comment

    CZJ enters the Bronze Age


    What in the pimply fake bake hell is going on with Catherine Zeta-Jones’ face?!?
    Bitch’s skin is all kinds of busted!

    CZJ and Michael “The Crypt Keeper” Douglas were at the Global Leadership Awards Gala in New York City Wednesday night and, evidently, she thought it was a costume party … a Halloween costume party because she came made up as ‘Clown Catherine of the Land of Giant Pore’.

    The only saving grace is that the shine coming off her skin is so intense it could actually temporarily blind innocent onlookers.
    ::: look away :::

    Well, we hope it did.
    ::: look awaaayyyy!!!!! :::

    October 2, 2008 at 8:51 pm 1 comment


    This is the shit you bitches are reading


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