Posts tagged ‘musician’

I just threw up a little in my mouth


According to the San Francisco Gate, American Idol ditzball alum Kellie Pickler (AKA Pammy Lite) and Waffle House smackdown king Kid Rock have been dating for more than a year.
::: doesn’t that, like, automatically qualify her as engagement material?? :::

I really hope this isn’t true.
Because I kind of like Kellie.
You have to like someone who can market the shit out of one-range vocals and two plumpified breastesez. It’s like a law.

Now if we could just get that bitch to quit the love before someone gets hurt …

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July 2, 2009 at 10:33 am 2 comments

R.I.P City Stages


What a week, eh?

Ed McMahon. Farrah Fawcett. Michael Jackson. City Stages.

City what?


City Stages – ‘The best music festival you’ve never heard of’ if you’re not from ’round here, according to a Chicago Sun Times review.
‘Here’ being parts near or around Birmingham, Alabama.

The three-day, family-friendly, arts and music festival  run by the Birmingham Cultural and Heritage Foundation showcased the last of all performances for, like, ever this year after a more than two decade long run.
::: sadness :::

The event is credited with helping transform Birmingham’s downtown area from blight to bright – re-establishing it as a great place to eat, shop, work and – well, just be.

But dumbass scheduling mistakes around 2001 (move it to grainy rainy May — how’d THAT work out?!?) saddled the hugely popular (and previously rapidly expanding) festival with mounting debt – forcing organizers to scale it down to keep it going. And it did … until this year.

Carrying a debt of more than $1 million, City Stages’ president – George McMillan – said this week that his show, well, won’t go on. 

SOURCE


DAMN THIS FUCKING WEEK!
::: Must regroup :::

KITTENSPUPPIESCOTTONCANDY KITTENSPUPPIESCOTTONCANDY 
KITTENSPUPPIESCOTTONCANDY KITTENSPUPPIESCOTTONCANDY
::: deep, cleansing breaths … :::

I close my eyes. I sail down a glorious rainbow of shimmery, shiny happiness. Wheeeee!!!!!!!!! I land on a cotton-candy puff in a land where I can sleep ’till noon on a weekday and my wine glass is never empty …. Ahhhhhhh

June 26, 2009 at 12:34 pm 4 comments

This is your brain on Beyoncé


Submitted without comment … 
::: tawk ahhmungst yas-elves … ::: 

November 22, 2008 at 12:18 am 3 comments

Yup, that’s one way to do it!


So there’s this song out there called ‘Bust Your Windows’ by a hot piece named Jazmine Sullivan and it’s all about a former boyfriend and the playful way she clued him in that she wasn’t exactly down with his cheatin’ horndoggery (mmmmyeah, ok, so the title does kind of give it away).

“I bust the windows out your car
After I saw you laying next to her
I didn’t wanna but I took my turn
I’m glad I did it ’cause you had to learn”

Lack of preposition notwithstanding, the song is kind of catchy in an angry-girl-anthem kind of way, which means I am all about it  — but it’s missing the finality one expects from a brutal breakup song.
::: I cut yer dick of with mah ax … see? now that’s catchy!! :::

But Jazzy’s from Philly and I guess that’s just how they do it up there and all what with bustin’ out windows and scrawling initials on the hood with a crowbar and suchlike and that’s all cool and everything … I  just wasn’t raised that way.

I was brought up where this kind of business gets handled … differently.

Just ask Cropwell’s own Josh Sempley.
::: BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Suckit Dickweed! That gag order is all KINDS of over!!! :::

For a while there it was all sexy sleepovers and hot steaminess between Josh and me …

until the skank he was bangin’ behind my back thought she’d try and school me on his scammin’ ways many Christmas moons ago.

holidayroachBeing the holiday season and all, I decided the proper thing to do would be to give them both big, BIG presents!!
::: I’m a giver like that. It’s just how I roll :::

First I trotted on down to Livvy’s Bait & Tackle just off Highway 280.
Livvy’s was this fun little place my dad would take me when I was little to get top-of-the-line spinners, streamers and shad wraps.
Folks forced to buy their bait on a budget could also get minnows, maggots and, my personal favorite, roaches!

A small ten dollar investment got me a half-pound of the creepy-crawlies — which turned out to be quite a powerful deterrent to late-night prank skank calls after she discovered the little demons inside the car she ** oopsie ** forgot to lock.
::: ho’, Ho’, HO’!! :::

“Oooh Yeah I did it
You should know it
I ain’t sorry
You deserved it”

Josh’s gift was more personal.

roadsterD-bag’s pride and joy — his raison d’être, if you will — was a tasty and totally cherry 1927 T-Bucket Roadster he built by hand from a kit.
That sweet thing was full of sweat-equity and powered by love so, of course, I gave it the royal treatment!
A Super-Ultimate-PRIMO bath using only the finest Brillo® and acetone mixture my never-be-hustled-again heart could manage.

You broke my heart
So I broke ya car
You caused me pain
So I did the same”

And did you know dishwashing soap isn’t supposed to be poured into the gas tank?!?
::: hehe – MY BAD!! … Live and learn, right?!? :::

Ooohhhhhh … good times, Good TIMES!

So, just so you know Jazzy baby — if your record label is lookin’ for a funky follow-up? Call me!

— and what about YOU?

ooooo tell … TELL!!

November 20, 2008 at 4:50 pm 2 comments

Britney looks diff-ernt, y’all!


After checking out the artwork for her new album, it’s clear that someone ‘s Photoshop THIIIIISSSSS MUCH!
::: it really IS better than Botox! ::: 

britney-spears-circus-2thumb
britney-spears-is-ugly

November 14, 2008 at 11:29 am 2 comments

Hair apparent …


Rihanna may want to rethink that ‘do because, according to Showbiz Spy, she was mistaken for Prince on a recent trip to London.
::: she’s a man, baby! :::

“Some fans screamed out, ‘Prince!’ when they saw her, SBS reports. “But when they got close enough to ask for an autograph, they realized he was a she.”

AWKWARD!

October 3, 2008 at 2:13 pm

Déjà Vu?


We must lift Janet Jackson up in prayer today as it seems she has relapsed been admitted to the hospital and must cancel an appearance … again.

Didn’t we just do this a few months ago???

Aaannnyragingdrugproblem, a mouthpiece for JJ says the singer has been hospitalized after falling ill and has canceled her concert in Montreal.

Word is she “got suddenly ill” during her sound check and had to be rushed to the hospital just before show time. And by ‘hospital’ we’re betting that means ‘rehab’. 

Well, either that or she just couldn’t bring herself to wear this absolutely trashtastic piece of awful. Seriously — what in Tweety Bird meets Spacballs hell is going on with that outfit?!?

September 30, 2008 at 12:36 pm

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