Posts tagged ‘mother’

FELINE FUCKERY!


Cat person or not — crap like this should make you want to immediately stop whatever you’re doing and go coin-diggin’ in the car or couch so you can start a collection or host a telethon or some shit to help these heinous humans BUY A GODDAMNED CLUE!!!!!

ACK!!!

Meet the Eskew family of Port St. Lucie, Florida: Jackbag James, Shithead Sheila and Jessica, their dumbass daughter.
————————–>

These evolutionary-scale throwbacks were arrested on animal cruelty charges after they decided it would be just a big ol’ slice of HELL YEAH to pack up everything for their pending move to North Cackalackee.

And by ‘pack up everything‘ I mean force more than 20 of their furry friends into wooden boxes coffins, nail the lids closed and dump ’em in the neighbor’s yard.

me-OWW!!!

Now — animal cruelty charges are all find and good (actually — it’s the LEAST that should happen to these sick tricks) but I think this troublesome trio should also be charged with whatever criminal thingamabob, trip to detention or mark on their permanent records goes along with depriving the larger community of what couldda been catastically comical!

CURSE YOU CAT-HATERS!

I mean, have they never had the pleasure of the LOLCATS pussies?
Are they not hip to the trip that is a YouTube kitty vid?
funnycatpix.com?!
zomgcatz.com?!?
roflcat.com?!?!

No?!
Grrrr!

Get with the program inbreeders!
Don’t make me invoke the spirit of Beethoven and come after your retarded asses!!

SOURCE

May 4, 2010 at 3:56 pm 3 comments

Adventures in Piss-Poor Parenting


Old and busted: Grounding your kid for punishment
New hotness: Making your kid murder something for punishment

Well, at least for one mentally-challenged mother in Georgia, it is.

Move over Jo-Jo ‘Tat Mom’ Marsh – there’s a new Queen of the Decidedly Dumbass!

Meet Lynn ‘Do my Crazy, Vacant, Googly Eyes Make Me Look Like A Batshit Crazy Crackah’ Middlebrooks Geter —–>

Lynn’s response to her son’s shitty report card wasn’t sending him to bed with no dinner, taking away his PlayStation or locking up the Webkinz.

Hell to the no!
Lynn’s not down with that tried-and-true shit!
She believes a lesson isn’t truly learned unless a sin’s been duly earned!

And so, for the grievous infraction of failing subtraction [or whatever the hell he came up short on] — Lynn thought the best way to impress upon her son the importance of academic excellence was to hand over a hammer and have him act as hitman on his own hamster.
::: Appropriate Response ULTRAFAIL :::

The day after his mom forced him to kill his beloved pet, Lynn’s  12-year-old soon-to-be-plagued-with-horrific-flashbacks son told his teacher … who reported it to DFCS authorities … who contacted police … who arrested Mommy Muttonhead and charged her with one count each of animal cruelty, child cruelty and battery.
::: Appropriate Response SUCCESS :::

If this is how she supervises schoolwork, can you just imagine how that trick handled potty training!?

Yikes.
* mad props to saratoday for the heads-up on this heinous ho *

SOURCE

January 26, 2010 at 11:53 am 3 comments

Judicial Change I Could Believe In


A heinous whore who tortured her child has been:
1. Denied any and all contact with her son
::: GOOD! :::
2. Sentenced to at least four years in prison
::: SLAMMERTIME!! :::
3. Ordered to receive parenting training
::: MOMMI … wait … what?! :::

22-year-old Tabitha Rich put her 33-month-old son butt-first into a pan of boiling water to punish the poor child for the grievous infraction common childhood condition of being constipated.
She also burned his foot with a cigarette and was responsible for other outrageous injuries …

… and yet – instead of barring that bitch from ever reproducing again, some schmuck judge gives her parenting training?!

I’d think the idea would be to prevent her from parenting for, like, EVER!

I mean, ok sure – that skank needs to study up — but wouldn’t it just be easier to obliterate her ovaries and seal her cervix so we don’t have to wait and worry when this MOTY candidate goes for the sequel?!

Because you know there would be one.

Frealz!
SOLUTIONIZE!

We accept the use of chemical castration for male sex offenders, such as rapists, pedophiles, and exhibitionists but then get all touchy when it comes to making it a permanent kind of NOT GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN when some wretched women abuses her offspring.

HYPOCRITICAL!

Cookie’s Conclusion: Just because she has a vagina doesn’t mean she’s mommy material and mommies who wound their wee ones should be forced to surgically forfeit the feminine fixtures of their fertility.

Bandwagon, anyone?

SOURCE

December 16, 2009 at 11:02 am 2 comments

FOTY CANDIDATE!!!!


Adam Manning don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no babies, but that bitch for DAMN sure knows how to get his Bud on!

manningThe 30-year-old first-time father-to-be brought his baby mamma to the emergency room of Utah’s McKay-Dee Hospital to get her birth on when his beady, bloodshot eyes spied nurse hotty-totty and he lost his gat DAMN mind!
::: Daddy DOUCHE! :::

He is reported to have ‘looked her up and down’, commented on how attractive she was and told her she was ‘cute’.
::: Devoted Dad / Protective Partner / Mature Male FAIL FAIL FAIL!!! :::

The nurse apparently ignored his inebriated advances and moved to the other side of mom’s wheelchair, preparing her to go to the delivery room.

Not one to take a turn-down lightly, Manning then told the nurse that she had something wrong with her neck and that he would !!RED FLAG RED FLAG!! massage it for her.

And by ‘massage’ he meant he was gonna get his grope on in the general area of her boobages.
::: ee-ERR ee-ERR :::

fotyWhen the R(eally)N(ot impressed gropee) asked what
inthegoddamnedfuckinghell
he was doing, Manning’s wife or girlfriend or enabler or whatever she is responded that he was ‘just drunk’.
::: FUN FACT: That’s not ‘just’ drunk – THAT is ‘piss’ drunk! :::

The Ogden Police were called and promptly booked the nurse booby-grabber on charges of felony forcible sexual abuse.

And if you didn’t figure it out by now — yes, he missed the birth of his first child.

Now THAT’S a baby story the whole family will enjoy sharing for generations!!

SOURCE

October 29, 2009 at 10:08 am 2 comments

A Senior Moment – of AWFUL!


Megacoot Roger Stephens has to get his perma-grimace in gear today and face the judge after being arrested earlier this week for cuffin’ a kid at the local Wal-Mart.

walmarthitterTaking a break from his daily regimen of screaming ‘GET OFF MY LAWN!” at the neighborhood chirruns, the 61-year-old Stone Mountainer was out shopping for Faded Glory jeans or Equate-brand laxatives or whatever the fuck it is people go into that hole to buy when a wailer on Aisle Three got him twenty kinds of AARPissed!!

According to the police report, Stephens gave the kid’s mom fair warning that if her spawn didn’t shut it he was gonna take care of that business himself.
Which is just what he did when his meds didn’t kick in he lost his gatdamned mind and slapped the woman’s two-year-old daughter ‘several times in the face’.
“See, I told you I would shut her up,” he reportedly crowed as mom brought the ‘Oh no you di’int!!!’ and screamed for security as another shopper stopped the spiteful senior.

Mr. Crankypants was arrested and charged with cruelty with children in the first degree.
And that’s a slice of big ol’ felony deliciousness, y’all!

He may not like the kiddies but he better learn to get along with L’il Trinny and ‘The Man’ down at Gwinnett County Correctional!

SOURCE

September 3, 2009 at 10:40 am 4 comments

Tuesday Twofer


That’s right folks!!
It’s Double-The-Trouble Day here at LIAC as we bring you the Dumb Bitch of the Day AND a Total Parenting FAIL  — All In One!!!!
:: soak it up snowflakes — ‘cuz you’re the only ones gettin’ anything poz out of this sad tale of woe :::

Authorities are charging a North Carolina woman and her boyfriend with felony child abuse and being two of the most ginormously colossal fucking dumbasses in all of eternity after they slept their way through what we all know were the hellish, shreiking cries of a baby having his toes chewed off by a dog …
In.
The.
SAME.
ROOM!!!

And just how do mommy dearest and her luvah Zzzzzzz their way through such an attack?

DRUGS!

::: I know, shock right? meh :::

But it’s true.
Seems Robie Lynn Jenkins was too effed in the head drugged up and twenty kinds of tahr’d y’all to be aware of her four-month-old boy bawling his tiny baby brains out as the pitt bull she and her boyfriend, Tremayne Spillman, were babysitting ate all five toes on the child’s left foot.

According to a sheriff’s office report, “Ms. Jenkins said she was taking medication and never heard the child cry out and only discovered the incident when she started changing the child’s diaper” THE NEXT MORNING!!!

And by ‘taking medication’ we have to assume they mean she was overdosing on Oxy with about twenty beer backs and nineteen Cuervo chasers ‘cuz that’s the only kind of sleepies I can think of that would render someone stone-cold fucking DEAF to the sound of their own child being eaten alive mere feet from their fucked up losery ass.

The wee one was transported to Pitt Memorial Hospital (a bit of karmic irony there …) where medical authorities warned he’s also in danger of losing the entire foot.
::: Major sad face! 😦 :::

Not for nothing, but I’d say it’s time for authorities to help him lose his mess-up mother as well for, like, EVER!

SOURCE

September 1, 2009 at 10:36 am 4 comments

What I did on my summer vacation …


Think YOUR kid had an enterprising summer job?
Not unless your last name is Lumpkin, they didn’t!

Florida mom Rosemary Lumpkin got an anonymous call Friday night from someone tattlin’ that her precious princess was workin’ the pole at a sticky-poledancefloored humphouse called Playmates.
::: CLASSY! :::

Well mom wasn’t having any of that mess so she put on her most serious ‘hayull naw’ face, called the cops and then joined the fun as they orchestrated a teenage-takedown at the tittay club.
::: You KNOW someone was pissed to learn ‘You’re goin’ down!!!’ didn’t quite mean what he thought it would that night … :::

Cocoa police say they found two teens – Lumpkin’s 17-year-old and a 15-year-old – shakin’ what their mamma’s gave ’em for limp, sweaty men monies.
MAMMA MUST BE SO PROUD!!!

Lumpkin said her daughter’s dirty dancing was a bit of a bombshell because, despite all evidence to the contrary, the kid’s been tight-lipped with her.

“How could you not know your daughter was dancing there?” WFTV reporter Kenneth Moton asked.
“Easy. Because I’m not a security guard, she could be sneaking out of the window,” Lumpkin said. “You’ve got to sleep some time.”

A statement that * SHOCK * brought DCFS to her door the next day.

I think we have another MOTY candidate, folks!!

SOURCE

August 24, 2009 at 4:34 pm

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