Posts tagged ‘Missouri’

Dumb Bitch of the Day


Springfield, Missouri’s Caitlen Watkins of was driving around the parking lot of her local shopping center and had just found a spot to her liking when another driver swooped in and snagged the spot for himself.

Don’t you just hate it when that happens?
Yeah … Caitlen does too.

But, being the fine, upstanding young woman, role model and future leader that she is, Caitlen simply shrugged off the stolen spot and went on her merry way.

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Noooooo.

She put on her pissy pants, channeled every ounce if idiotic rage she could muster and got her stab on!!
::: … over a parking spot … :::

But see, Caitlen’s all ‘can-do’ like that.
It’s just how she rolls.

— She can and does react to everyday situations inappropriately
— She can and does make horrifically poor decisions
— And now – the 18-year-old can and will partake of the varied amenities and gangly band of rejects joining her at the county lockup.
::: … over a parking spot … her parents must be SO proud … :::

According to court documents, Caitlen and some secondary asswad who was with her in the car went all ‘Oh no you di’INT!’ and confronted the spot stealer, which led to a fight, which led to the other driver suffering a punctured kidney after being stabbed half a dozen times with the wooden-handled, 5-inch icepick Caitlen apparently keeps around for point-making opportunities such as this one.
::: MYYYYY  parking spot, biatch!!! MUAHAHAHA!!! :::

The other driver went to the hospital.
Caitlen went to the pokey.
::: Bet she learns REAL fast how it got that name! 😉 :::

She has been charged with first-degree assault and armed criminal action.

But don’t worry — look how  pretty she is!!
————————>
She’ll make LOTS of special new friends inside!

Caitlen, hon?
Smidge of advice?
Angry, imbecilic and operating at full retard is no way to go through life, kid …

SOURCE

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December 23, 2009 at 11:20 am 2 comments

You go girl!


<——- Joan Bray gets my vote for this week’s ‘Bitchslappiest Badass In All Of Creation’ award PLUS ten trillion ‘Attagirls’ for giving a big ol’ verbal backhand to a bunch of Missouri buffoons.

See, on one side, there are these folks (Retardlicans, old white men and general religious whackjobs) who can’t get over the fact that waaaayyyy back in 1973 a bunch of people we call the United States Supreme Court put their heads together (well 7 of the 9, anyway) and decided that it was probably a good idea for women to have the last word on what happens with their vajayjays when it comes to having baybays and so they legalized that shit 20 says to Sunday.

On the other side, there’s this other group of folks (everyone else) who believe the Supremes’ decision was a slammin’ piece of justice.

Joan Bray is in that group.

bitch_slap-13115And this week, during debate on Missouri’s [now passed] ‘compromise’ abortion legislation, the University City Democrat got fired up and unleashed some furious speechification on her Senate brethren, basically calling bullshit on the blatant sexism behind abortion bills year after year and, at one point, lambasting lawmakers who are “pro-life” with their wives and “pro-choice” with their girlfriends.
::: BOO-YA!! Suckit hypocrites! :::

At the time she said it, none of the peens on the Senate floor had the cajones to respond … but 12 hours later Republican Senator Jack Goodman labeled her comments “highly offensive” and “slanderous.”
::: Ooo – way harsh, Jackster! :::

So what, exactly, did she say that was sooooo outrageous?!?

Behold the glory of articulate outrage!

“After multiple years on this issue, I’m sick of it. I’m totally sick of it.

I’m sick of women being treated like they are so stupid that they can’t make their own decisions regarding their reproductive rights and their bodies.

I’m sick of women having no options, and being coerced to give birth.

I’m sick of a bunch of men around here, year after year after year, piling up restriction after restriction after restriction on women who found themselves in a very unhappy, unpleasant circumstance of an unwanted pregnancy.

Missouri has the most restrictive abortion laws in the country and, as a result, Missouri’s women are put in danger when they finally do ever get to have an abortion — they’re later and they’re tougher abortions to have because there are so many barriers to Missouri women getting to have a safe and legal abortion.

I am sick of the disrespect for women who come to the Capitol defending a woman’s legal right to choose an abortion.

I am sick that they’re being treated dismissively and rudely.

I’m sick of the ethic around here that men are pro-life for their wives and pro-choice for their girlfriends.

I’m sick of the failure to take steps that would, in fact, reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies, through sex education, contraception, family planning and emergency contraception.

No man in this body will ever have an unwanted pregnancy.

But, mark my word, your daughters, your wives, your sisters, your granddaughters, your nieces will.

And your actions here tonight will disrespect and diminish them.”

Joan? Girlfriend??
I SO LOVE YOU RIGHT NOW!!!

 

 SOURCE

May 15, 2009 at 2:46 pm 5 comments

Yes, Virginia …


There’s Santa … and then there’s Santa.

One is good for little more than scaring the bejeezus out of your offspring, which is hella fun to watch and all but if you didn’t bring a change of pants for your progeny then you’re probably in for a pretty shitty afternoon.

secret-santaThe other type is a bit harder to spot but an encounter with one is much more fulfilling. [That’s the ‘who’]

These ‘secret Santas’ get their mitzvah on by doing what others don’t, won’t or, well, just can’t.
They give.
And they give big.
::: Mazal, mazal,  y’all! ::: 

A couple of them recently doled out $20,000 in $100 bills to folks in Illinois, Kansas and Missouri. [That’s the ‘what’ ‘when’ and ‘where’]

“The only condition,” the Missouri angel said , “is that you do something nice for someone. Pass it on.”
::: Listen UP, greedy bankers, AIG bastards and other beggars hoarding bailout bucks meant to help the masses!  ::: 

The Kansas Santa was a protégé of famous Kansas City undercover gift giver, Larry Stewart, who died of cancer nearly two years ago.

Stewart roamed city streets each December handing out hundred-dollar bills to anyone who looked like they might need a lift.

His legacy lives on … and it’s a good great thing because, let’s face it –  recipients will not be hard to find in this New Great Depression.

[… and the ‘why’?]
“It’s not about the man, it’s not about the money, it’s about the message,” Kansas Santa said.

“Anyone can be a secret Santa with a kind word, gesture, a helping hand.” 

[I get it — ‘why not’]
And so, if you’ll excuse me …

December 7, 2008 at 3:12 pm 11 comments


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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